Things I've Apologized to My Wife For (1 Viewer)

I'll echo @detroitdad 's sentiments. I've known my wife since high school, happily married (up! ;)) for nearly 20 years and 99% of the time we get along great. Buuuuuuuuuut.....

We have disagreements and whatnot. We respect each other, act like adults, pour a bourbon, and work shit out. I think the last time we got into a fight was 15'ish years ago when my oldest was a teenager.

April will be 33 years for us. I'm having a blast. Headed to date night in a few minutes!
 
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First date in 91, married in 99. Lost and recovered my card more than a few times over the years and too many Sorry's to count, lol. Most recent one was probably farting and not warning her (although when I'm in my office and she comes in, there is no such requirement, at least that's how I feel about that...) :D
 
I guess this is a "brag". I'm not sure the last time Colleen was mad at me.
Ah, another victim of Alzheimers.

Hmmmmm……….. :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: I’m divorced. :ROFL: :ROFLMAO:
A divorce is the first step toward finding true happiness with your second wife. Especially if both share the same first name (trust me on this one, after 31 years with #2!)

Nobody's had to apologize for receiving more mail packages than the Mrs. or having more chips than she has shoes?
I think it was just assumed that this was universal for PCFers...
 
I'll echo @detroitdad 's sentiments. I've known my wife since high school, happily married (up! ;)) for nearly 20 years and 99% of the time we get along great. Buuuuuuuuuut.....



^^this one^^ truly made me laugh out loud Dan because I can TOTALLY relate :ROFL: :ROFLMAO:
Yep. Happened recently.

Best one recently, I was already in bed. She comes to bed and makes that noise that let me know she was upset and wanted to talk.

I reluctantly ask what’s wrong. Apparently it takes me so little time to get ready for bed that I get in bed 10-15 minutes before her when we go up at the same time and it annoyed her. LOL. I’ve not let her live that one down for a while.
 
Yep. Happened recently.

Best one recently, I was already in bed. She comes to bed and makes that noise that let me know she was upset and wanted to talk.

I reluctantly ask what’s wrong. Apparently it takes me so little time to get ready for bed that I get in bed 10-15 minutes before her when we go up at the same time and it annoyed her. LOL. I’ve not let her live that one down for a while.
I get that too. She’s jealous that I fall asleep so fast.
 
-Snoring/ not putting my cpap on
-Asking if she wants a snack, she says, "no", I go get a snack and she's upset I didn't get her anything.
-not listening/asking her to repeat herself/asking her to not walk away while talking/ subtitles on the tv/tv sound too loud (I'm a disabled veteran who is hard of hearing)
-spending time doing any of my hobbies (bought a horse farm for her)
-Not wanting to watch a tv show that we've been bingeing for months, because it gets old (survivor)
 
1. leaving racks of chips on her nightstand (which is right next to my chip cabinet) "sorry, I was taking pictures of chips"
2. forgetting pretty much everything, followed by "i'm sorry, I was selling chips"
3. spending too much time on the computer instead of with her and the kid, again... "sorry, I was emailing about selling chips"
4. another trip to vegas??? "sorry, orders are piling up, I have to grab chips, sell chips, make money, repeat."
 
For going to bed apparently.

We had a few Gn Ts while watching TV. I told her I was tired, got up, brushed my teeth and went to bed.

20 minutes later I here her searching the house for me. Basement, upstairs, garage...to no availe. Next thing she's yelling for me, "WHERE ARE YOU", and in my super sexy whisper voice I hollar.......here!!

HER: Where the hell are you!!

ME: Super sexy whisper...again....HEEERRREE!!

HER: (still looking upstairs) F'N WHERE!!

ME: Now totally F'n with her, "IN THE BASEMENT"

HER: Now walking down the stairs to the basement, "WHERE!"

ME: I'M IN BED

Needless to say, she was a bit upset!!

But shit was HILARIOUS!!
 
Yesterday she had a friend over prepping for a wedding this weekend. They were sitting on the carpet doing some craft and she saw one of my pubes next to her friend. She had to grab it and hide it.

She tells me the story today

Wife: “Your pubes were right next to Esther last night”
Me: “Huh? What?! What are you saying”
Wife: “Why are you pubes on the carpet?”
Me: “I don’t know. They just fall out. I’m getting old. How do you know it wasn’t yours?!”
Wife: “Mine aren’t that long” (this is true)
Me: “I don’t know dear. I don’t keep track of them”
 
Yesterday she had a friend over prepping for a wedding this weekend. They were sitting on the carpet doing some craft and she saw one of my pubes next to her friend. She had to grab it and hide it.

She tells me the story today

Wife: “Your pubes were right next to Esther last night”
Me: “Huh? What?! What are you saying”
Wife: “Why are you pubes on the carpet?”
Me: “I don’t know. They just fall out. I’m getting old. How do you know it wasn’t yours?!”
Wife: “Mine aren’t that long” (this is true)
Me: “I don’t know dear. I don’t keep track of them”
So many questions. But I’m not sure I can handle the answers. Lol
 
I probably don’t have answers
Shin when I had the Long Beard I was asked the same two questions on a regular basis... not everyday but 7 years with that beard it w as s easily thousands of times.

#1 obviously "who long did that take to grow" my favorite answer was "3 months" they just look at you funny.

But the best question was "when is the last time you shaved?" I just stare them in the face and say "yesterday" and wait for it to him them! Lmao

Also if you choose to forego Manscaping then definitely grow a beard as you can blame beard hairs on being pubes.
 
Shin when I had the Long Beard I was asked the same two questions on a regular basis... not everyday but 7 years with that beard it w as s easily thousands of times.

#1 obviously "who long did that take to grow" my favorite answer was "3 months" they just look at you funny.

But the best question was "when is the last time you shaved?" I just stare them in the face and say "yesterday" and wait for it to him them! Lmao

Also if you choose to forego Manscaping then definitely grow a beard as you can blame beard hairs on being pubes.

I’m Asian. I don’t grow facial hair hahha
 
Poker-related:
-Not playing heads-up with her anymore, after I discovered online poker.
-Playing too much online poker

Non poker-related:
-Destroying the car's instrument panel with a spontaneous punch and crying out "shut up" when the car decided to take control away from me and brake by itself, event though that stupid (and dangerous) "safety" feature was supposed to be deactivated.
It wasn't just a display, but rather a computer, which cost 1500E to replace. The stupid sucker (the VW Golf) didn't even know its own mileage after that. Forgot to mention that she had paid for that car.
 
Reminds me of this one…

Have you seen the new “Divorce Barbie”?

She comes with half of Ken’s stuff
Lady selling chips on eBay "these are from my late husbands collection"

"Oh my sorry for your loss, beautiful chips though"

"Hes not dead, I got half of his crap in the divorce"

"Ohh.... damn... poor bastard!"
 
Reminds me of this one…

Have you seen the new “Divorce Barbie”?

She comes with half of Ken’s stuff
Good one. Unrelated to this thread, but reminds me of a joke.

Why does the Ken doll have no genitals?

They're in Barbie's purse.
 
I was launching and crying all the ways through all the replies.

Poker related: Everything, Anything.

Non-Poker related:
Ask for more sex,
And sometimes DO IT myself too much.

Ah.... Woman!!!
 
“Honey I’m only expecting 8 players”

(14 people show up, 3 of them early while she’s still working)

“Honey, 5 of these people are very nitty and don’t count and one of them is @JoseRijo”

Her: (looks around to ensure @Chicken Rob isn’t around). “Nobody down here is nitty”

Next day apologies over coffee.
 
I put a few hundred into bovada to bet random props for the super bowl. It showed up on our statement as a bill to niarobi. My wife saw it while at work today and texted me all concerned our account was hacked. I took it in another direction.

and I think I had her convinced for about 90 seconds that I sent money to the "royal family" of Nairobi.

So today's apology was,
1. sorry for wasting your time at work
2. Sorry for making you think we had to alert the bank for fraudulent activity.
3. Sorry for saying you are insensitive to 3rd world problem
 

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I put a few hundred into bovada to bet random props for the super bowl. It showed up on our statement as a bill to niarobi. My wife saw it while at work today and texted me all concerned our account was hacked. I took it in another direction.

and I think I had her convinced for about 90 seconds that I sent money to the "royal family" of Nairobi.

So today's apology was,
1. sorry for wasting your time at work
2. Sorry for making you think we had to alert the bank for fraudulent activity.
3. Sorry for saying you are insensitive to 3rd world problem

Savage!
 

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