Share the funniest thing you've heard this week

dennis63

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I know there are some great, funny stories out there in your everyday life. Let's start a thread to share the funniest thing we've seen or heard in the past week.

My contribution:

I'm looking to retire from my current job, and went to a seminar where an "image consultant" was paid to advise a group of employees about clothing for professionals -- suits, styles, types, colors, etc. She was the consummate professional, and brought more info and material than I ever knew existed about clothes.

At one point, she held up a sample cloth and a tie. She scanned the group. Looking at the guy next to me, she said, "John, what would you say if you woke up this morning and your wife was standing there holding this shirt and this tie and said, 'Honey, I want you to wear these today?'"

His response: "Ah... I'd say, 'I divorced you five years ago. Why are you in my bedroom?'"
 
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gopherblue

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Funniest thing I heard this week? I was in the ER on Monday, and the doc asked me if I'd come into contact with anyone who might have traveled to West Africa recently. I stared at her blankly and said "I live in New York City and ride the subway...what do you think?"
 

Toby

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A colleague told me he'd been "pounding [his] jar of Nutella" at his desk.

Nothing is going to take that image away now. Shit sticks with you.
 
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