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Fugly Poker Table Thread (127 Viewers)

BGinGA said:
This hideous thing needs pics:

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Click to expand...

Might be the winner in this thread only for the fact that this was done on purpose.

In the thread there are plenty of ugly tables with bad craftsmanship, poor execution etc. but this person actually looks to have some skills and made a pretty good quality table. It's: ugly, impractical, illogical, unplayable and completely horrific. Looks a winner to me.
 
Hot Nuts said:
POKER TABLE - $200

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This is just in time for Christmas........surprise him with his very own poker table for his man cave.....this is a well made, handmade, 8 person table set on a heavy duty pedistal base (can be removed for storage when not in use)......come see this very nice piece of furniture......includes the waterproof cover..
Click to expand...

Weatherproof cover = "You're not bringing that piece of sh!t into this house!"
 
Hot Nuts said:
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Selling a homemade poker table. Built it about 5 years ago and played a lot, but haven't had a game in three years since I moved to a new home. There is probably about $300 worth of materials in the table, even if it was just scrapped. Made from 3/4" plywood, high density foam, faux leather, poker felt, and rubber matting. Cards slide very nicely and the table has the perfect amount of give under the chips. Each place at the table has a cup holder that represents one of the all-time greatest players in the four major sports (NFL, NBA, MLB).

NFL: John Elway, Jerry Rice, Barry Sanders
MLB: Ken Griffey Jr., Cal Ripken Jr., Nolan Ryan
NBA: Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson
NHL: Wayne Gretzky

Weighs approximately 100lbs and you would need a place to set it (on top of a table) because it doesn't have legs. Measures 6' long x 4' wide x 6" thick (including foam rails). Price lowered because of recent cat attacks (see pictured) and a new wife. Could potentially just remove the foam rails that the cat attacked, but they still function and feel good while playing. The underside of the table is unfinished and just exposed wood, but you don't see it while playing. I put images of the problems I found so you'll be aware of these issues before contacting me. Would probably need a truck to haul, but I will help load it for you. Would still be a great table for a college group or bachelor pad or game room, especially for a sports fan. Really hope it ends up being used a lot and you have a lot of fun playing.
Click to expand...


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Strike1st said:
I was considering building a table...this thread has scarred the sit out of me...I think I'll sell my table saw and buy a table.
Click to expand...

You're already ahead of the game on several counts:

1. You're considering the table build. I can guarantee the majority of these tables skipped that step completely (except the bizarre Rorschach blob thing, which was inexplicably well planned to look that way...). Just continue that thread of planning and thoughtful research and you'll be fine. Lean on the numerous experienced builders and shared information both here and elsewhere.

2. You have a table saw, which speaks to having the right tools to make the job possible. For table building, it is all about the router though. Making due with hand saws and pliers is leads to some of the results in this thread too.
 
Holy crap, that's a ton of figured maple. Doesn't look like that slab should have ever been made into a table. "Table is slightly heavy and sturdy but not sturdy enough for heavy objects to be placed on for long periods of time." The router work on the cards is pretty bad and on the "center dish" it's terrible. They could have put that slab to great use cutting it down into reasonable chunks.
 
My decks all have 2 aces of each suit, though I usually keep one of each suit tucked safely up my sleeve...

Being that my first thought was "It would make a fair coffee table for a man cave that needs a coffee table. Then I read the bit about it not holding weight. Then I looked closer at the legs that are tied together with twisted manila rope, and realised that was the only thing holding the legs together - i.e. kick a leg, and the table comes down.

Add to that that it would also make an awful coffee table. No flat edge to put parallel to a couch, the "tray" that would make the center somewhat unusable, and the poor quality of the wood burning. Yep, this tables best feature is it's longevity as a yule log.
 
Last edited:
i'm nobody said:
Fantastic table from Calgary, Kijiji ad. I am not even sure if you can call this a poker table.
http://www.kijiji.ca/v-furniture-ot...le/1045444858?enableSearchNavigationFlag=true
Click to expand...


HA.. everyone has a section that is theirs. You have room for a playstation, an ashtray, magazine and dinner plate. The only problem from having so much 'leg room' is that you must throw your cards and chips into the middle playing surface. If they dont make it there, or slide off the other side because its NOT FRICKEN felt.... tough.
 
i'm nobody said:
Fantastic table from Calgary, Kijiji ad. I am not even sure if you can call this a poker table.
http://www.kijiji.ca/v-furniture-ot...le/1045444858?enableSearchNavigationFlag=true
Click to expand...

Link = bad
Pics = good

$_20.JPG


Poker Table 64.5" W x29.5" H

Beautiful custom built poker table. I love this table but do not have room for it any longer. The table is in great shape and seats 8 comfortably. Table is finished with an oil based gloss lacquer which provides beauty and long lasting protection. This table is a must see. Top is maple with fir trim and marble centre. Legs are cedar with a custom taper design.

Dimensions 64-1/2" any direction in the octagon and 29-1/2" tall.

Only 250.00 OBO

Must be picked up with a truck or a larger van.

 
spikeithard said:
Freaking hideous.
There is no good use for this table.. Not poker, not dining, not anything. It's stupid. It's a stupid person table.

Sent using tapatalk!
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atomiktoaster said:
Holy crap, that's a ton of figured maple. Doesn't look like that slab should have ever been made into a table. "Table is slightly heavy and sturdy but not sturdy enough for heavy objects to be placed on for long periods of time." The router work on the cards is pretty bad and on the "center dish" it's terrible. They could have put that slab to great use cutting it down into reasonable chunks.
Click to expand...

Good wood gone to waste...that is why you don't snort Ritalin!
 
[h=2]Poker table with 6 chairs - $250[/h]
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octagon poker table, felt covered, 6 chairs

- - - - - - - - - Updated - - - - - - - - -

[h=2]Poker Table - $80[/h]
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New York Giants Themed
Seats 8 to 10 comfortably
Legs do not fold
Solid table
 
I'm speechless....

Hot Nuts said:
1 more b4 I go to bed....is that real birchwood I see?


Poker Table - $125

00F0F_7DMJCXnHtVO_600x450.jpg



Up for sale I have a home made heavy duty poker table. The playing surface is done in quality poker table fabric for easy card slide. It has a stained wood surround with inserted drink holders. The surround edge is a padded cushion for comfort. The underside of the cushion is lighted for playing area illumination. The legs are foldable for easy storage. I have over $300 in parts alone, not counint labor to build it. I am moving and have no room for it. Very heavy duty and made to last. Contact thru Craigslist. Thanks for looking.

- - - - - - - - - Updated - - - - - - - - -

ok, last one really....what a beast of a table....what size card index is needed here?

Custom Poker Table - $325

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condition: excellentsize / dimensions: 12ft

12 ft CUSTOM Texas Hold 'em Poker Table
13 seats including dealer with cup holders
New/lightly used condition
Click to expand...
 
Hot Nuts said:
1 more b4 I go to bed....is that real birchwood I see?


Poker Table - $125

00F0F_7DMJCXnHtVO_600x450.jpg



Up for sale I have a home made heavy duty poker table. The playing surface is done in quality poker table fabric for easy card slide. It has a stained wood surround with inserted drink holders. The surround edge is a padded cushion for comfort. The underside of the cushion is lighted for playing area illumination. The legs are foldable for easy storage. I have over $300 in parts alone, not counint labor to build it. I am moving and have no room for it. Very heavy duty and made to last. Contact thru Craigslist. Thanks for looking.

- - - - - - - - - Updated - - - - - - - - -

ok, last one really....what a beast of a table....what size card index is needed here?

Custom Poker Table - $325

00d0d_bgLZwnsQCtc_600x450.jpg



condition: excellentsize / dimensions: 12ft

12 ft CUSTOM Texas Hold 'em Poker Table
13 seats including dealer with cup holders
New/lightly used condition
Click to expand...

lol never noticed before that this one seat 13. Better have your starting hand selection in top gear at that table!
 
Spiderman, spiderman

8 Person round, Red poker table - $100 (Merrimack, NH)

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