Community Feedback - Posting private messages (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter Tommy
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And yes. I understand we are talking here about peer to peer private messages.
But private messages are what they are.
Private. Sent with the understanding that sharing without consent is a pretty douchey thing to do
But private messages are what they are.
Private. Sent with the understanding that sharing without consent is a pretty douchey thing to do
31, and I voted no.
The only circumstances in which PM's should be read by a third party are by Tommy or one of the moderators to assure that no real transgression that would violate TOS occurred, including but not limited to outright theft or something similar.
The only circumstances in which PM's should be read by a third party are by Tommy or one of the moderators to assure that no real transgression that would violate TOS occurred, including but not limited to outright theft or something similar.
CarlosStorm
3 of a Kind
In my opinion, and maybe my English is not good enough to understand this whole thread, in a conversation between two parties (or more) any one of them can make the conversation public, here or wherever they want. The important thing here is if you make the conversation public for an ethically acceptable reason or not.
And I think age is not important to answer Yes or No...I'm a super younger man in his 50
And I think age is not important to answer Yes or No...I'm a super younger man in his 50
Very rare instances and I understand that point. I guess how I really feel is that my reputation amongst the community would speak for itself and that I’m capable of working out a personal issue with another member without making something intended to be private, public.
I agree, it should be a last resort thing when all else fails.
Poker Zombie
Royal Flush
Make me change my mind.
What would you share privately with someone that you think they would make public if there wasn't a policy about it?
Hypothetically, if you were going to run a NAGB and needed some partners, would the partners you choose be more likely NOs or YESs pertaining to this thread?
Not “oh this person wouldn’t do it if it were something like that.” Will it be adamant NOs or the person who might call “bullshit” because they may not like something as the project progresses?
From jump, are you more comfortable with a NO or YES?
It's almost always the argumentative types that share PM's anyway. I can definitely see a situation where it might come in handy. But I've never come close to needing to do it. Can't you just resolve it privately or move on with your life instead of having a kangaroo court.
Eloe2000
Straight Flush
Is this really an issue anyway? I have only seen this happen a couple times and usually it was someone essentially reminding another person of a joke they told in a PM (or something completely benign like that). On maybe two occasions I saw someone post a PM in a dispute to back up their version of the story that someone else was mischaracterizing. I haven’t personally seen someone post a PM in bad form as far as I recall.
I don’t think the point of the thread is about whether it’s an issue or not, for me it’s more about if it’s ethical or not. I don’t want to use any examples for you because it’s not worth it to me to do so, but I can tell you for certain there have been things posted from PMs and personal text messages in the past that IMO were done with very poor judgement.
What I will say to you and everyone else for that matter is this, if I receive a message by PM from another member, I will not ever post it publicly for an entire forum to read. That’s just me. If my opinion on this topic bothers someone, they need to look in the mirror or get in touch with their own selves as to why it does.
Eloe2000
Straight Flush
I get what you are saying, have the same perspective as you, and agree with you. But to the contrary, I am pretty sure given the location of the thread, the actual text of the OP, and the fact that Tommy posted it that he is specifically looking to understand if the site should ban as a matter of sitewide terms and enforce this activity. Tommy doesn’t make posts to spark ethical debates. This is why I am asking if this occurs to the degree that it is a problem.
What people are responding to...
Posting private messages on the forum. Is this generally an asshole move?
What Tommy is asking...
Posting private messages on the forum. Should this be outright banned and enforced by the site Admins?
I think it should be banned. It is IMO an “asshole move” that will surely become the norm in time if it it’s allowed.
Like I mentioned when I first responded to this thread, 5 years ago, I couldn’t imagine this being a topic of conversation here on PCF.
@Tommy can do and will do what ever he wants pertaining to this matter. It doesn’t mean I have to like it or agree with it, and as long as I’m still allowed to have an opinion about it, I think it would be a great disservice to PCF and the community as a whole.
It’s a childish, unethical and stupid thing for someone to do IMO. Be better members of this community than that.
Poker Zombie
Royal Flush
If I were to rune a NAGB, or privately share info in a PM, I would be more comfortable with members that responded with a Yes.
The reason is simple: The Yes crowd demonstrates an understanding of respect. That is the first and foremost thing I look for in a secret-keeping buddy.
Here's how it goes (went?
)...PM: We are running a NAGB. It's a Paulson 43mm set with the theme, 'Ducks on the Pond'. If you are in, change your profile pic to a rubber duck.
Member: "I'm out, and I'm pissed. NAGB's are bad for the site. I'm going to tell everybody what you are doing!"
Does the member need to post my PM? No! He could post that I was running the 'Ducks on the Pond' buy without the PM. He could share my PM via other PM's, and nobody would know - not even Admins!
I've shared other private info with members here. Many know I went through cancer, and I'm happy to privately discuss treatment, what to expect, and how it affected me, my family, and my life. I don't put that up publicly though, because it is very personal. I won't discuss who I was talking to either. I don't need a rule on the forum saying don't do it. It's showing respect for one's privacy.
In that way, I guess you could say I already have a rule. However, If I needed to prove that we agreed something and then you reneged (and somehow it went public - something else that I have a hard time understanding) then I wouldn't want you hiding behind a forum rule as you besmirch my name.
I totally disagree, i would say its completely the opposite, for me the people who said no have a bigger understanding of respect..kinda sad to see people justifying like this imoIf I were to rune a NAGB, or privately share info in a PM, I would be more comfortable with members that responded with a Yes.
The reason is simple: The Yes crowd demonstrates an understanding of respect. That is the first and foremost thing I look for in a secret-keeping buddy.
Here's how it goes (went?
PM: We are running a NAGB. It's a Paulson 43mm set with the theme, 'Ducks on the Pond'. If you are in, change your profile pic to a rubber duck.
Member: "I'm out, and I'm pissed. NAGB's are bad for the site. I'm going to tell everybody what you are doing!"
Does the member need to post my PM? No! He could post that I was running the 'Ducks on the Pond' buy without the PM. He could share my PM via other PM's, and nobody would know - not even Admins!
I've shared other private info with members here. Many know I went through cancer, and I'm happy to privately discuss treatment, what to expect, and how it affected me, my family, and my life. I don't put that up publicly though, because it is very personal. I won't discuss who I was talking to either. I don't need a rule on the forum saying don't do it. It's showing respect for one's privacy.
In that way, I guess you could say I already have a rule. However, If I needed to prove that we agreed something and then you reneged (and somehow it went public - something else that I have a hard time understanding) then I wouldn't want you hiding behind a forum rule as you besmirch my name.
I'm really shocked at how close this poll is. People are making this all about privacy. We're talking about privacy on the internet here. Who the hell thinks there's privacy on the internet? Seriously, it's the friggin' internet. Every post, click, comment, picture, action, etc. you do is watched and recorded by someone or something and is there for someone to see or find practically forever. Good luck finding privacy on the internet.
I don't engage in conversations (again, they aren't called private messages on this forum even though calling them that seems to help those in the No category explain their position) with the expectation that they are 100% private. For all of you who are literally arguing that Tommy should completely ban the sharing of conversations on this site in all possible situations, let's hope you never get into a disagreement in conversations that ruins your reputation because then you are doubly screwed because showing the conversation will also ruin your reputation by going against your principles in this debate. Good luck with that.
Just out of curiosity - how many of you that voted no also feel that your reputation is just so good that it's impossible that it could be ruined or tarnished? There are already a few people in this thread who have said so more or less (i.e. comments like "my reputation speaks for itself so even if someone tried to ruin it, I still wouldn't have to share conversations with them to clear my name"). Must be nice to have that feeling about yourself, so congrats, but not everyone on this site is in that boat with you. Perhaps you should consider others and how they might have to deal with these possible situations and not just yourself.
Again, I don't think it's a good thing to share conversations in the forum and definitely should be be done so lightly, but obviously there are circumstances that could warrant such a response, such as scams or someone badmouthing your reputation that can only be cleared through showing the conversations one has had with that person.
I don't engage in conversations (again, they aren't called private messages on this forum even though calling them that seems to help those in the No category explain their position) with the expectation that they are 100% private. For all of you who are literally arguing that Tommy should completely ban the sharing of conversations on this site in all possible situations, let's hope you never get into a disagreement in conversations that ruins your reputation because then you are doubly screwed because showing the conversation will also ruin your reputation by going against your principles in this debate. Good luck with that.
Just out of curiosity - how many of you that voted no also feel that your reputation is just so good that it's impossible that it could be ruined or tarnished? There are already a few people in this thread who have said so more or less (i.e. comments like "my reputation speaks for itself so even if someone tried to ruin it, I still wouldn't have to share conversations with them to clear my name"). Must be nice to have that feeling about yourself, so congrats, but not everyone on this site is in that boat with you. Perhaps you should consider others and how they might have to deal with these possible situations and not just yourself.
Again, I don't think it's a good thing to share conversations in the forum and definitely should be be done so lightly, but obviously there are circumstances that could warrant such a response, such as scams or someone badmouthing your reputation that can only be cleared through showing the conversations one has had with that person.
What a sad sad sad statement that is.. I feel sorry for you that you think like that.
Profile pic changed! I'm in! (I hope)
Why?
Because this poll exactely is about privacy on the internet. In this called community, you can decide what we want to represent and what we want to stand for. That on this forum/community there is still some kind of privacy on the internet.
And on the other hand in this internet where nothing is private it seems very important to be able safe your reputation... I just dont get it, its like declaring bankruptcy on this community..
Edit: not that easy for non english native speaker to discuss / express exactely what i would like to. I hope it is understandable nevertheless
I think you are under the impression that those who voted Yes are suggesting that they don't want privacy rights on the internet. That is not the case at all. However, to post things on the internet simply expecting my want of privacy rights to hold is just ignorant. It's the internet - it's not private in any way.
GenghisKhan
Full House
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Lol. Like changing a profile pic could get you in a NAGB.....hmm
You make some good points @Poker Zombie and I do understand where your coming from. I disagree on the “respect” part though, I’m of the opinion that “respect” goes both ways and it doesn’t have to be a YES or a NO to get ones respect or be an ethical member of this community.If I were to rune a NAGB, or privately share info in a PM, I would be more comfortable with members that responded with a Yes.
The reason is simple: The Yes crowd demonstrates an understanding of respect. That is the first and foremost thing I look for in a secret-keeping buddy.
Here's how it goes (went?
PM: We are running a NAGB. It's a Paulson 43mm set with the theme, 'Ducks on the Pond'. If you are in, change your profile pic to a rubber duck.
Member: "I'm out, and I'm pissed. NAGB's are bad for the site. I'm going to tell everybody what you are doing!"
Does the member need to post my PM? No! He could post that I was running the 'Ducks on the Pond' buy without the PM. He could share my PM via other PM's, and nobody would know - not even Admins!
I've shared other private info with members here. Many know I went through cancer, and I'm happy to privately discuss treatment, what to expect, and how it affected me, my family, and my life. I don't put that up publicly though, because it is very personal. I won't discuss who I was talking to either. I don't need a rule on the forum saying don't do it. It's showing respect for one's privacy.
In that way, I guess you could say I already have a rule. However, If I needed to prove that we agreed something and then you reneged (and somehow it went public - something else that I have a hard time understanding) then I wouldn't want you hiding behind a forum rule as you besmirch my name.
What bothers me most is that we are actually having to have this conversation. As I mentioned before, I couldn’t see this being a topic of discussion just a few short years ago.
I’d like to elaborate more but I’ve got to go into work today.
@Poker Zombie, with all due respect you’ll always have my respect even if we can’t see eye to eye on some things. My own stubbornness on this topic is probably because I want people to understand and think about what they may or may not do and the consequences that may result from it before the just go “Willy Nilly” act.
If all avenues are exhausted and there’s just no other way, I can understand even if my personal principles wouldn’t allow me to do such a thing.
42 and voted yes. I would never post a PM, email or anything else unless it was to clear up a personal false accusation, and even then I'd be very hesitant to do so, only as a last resort. But the forum does not need more rules, it needs people to act with integrity.
It's simple, don't send something you wouldn't want aired to the public to someone you don't trust. That's a general life lesson, not just for PCF.
It's simple, don't send something you wouldn't want aired to the public to someone you don't trust. That's a general life lesson, not just for PCF.
I dont think any of the no voters are afraid that a pm of their own could be posted. It is not about that. But thanks for the life lesson...
Ok, what are you afraid of then?
Iam not afraid of anything (lool sounds pretty cool)
It is what kind of community you want. Do you want respect, integrity, moral? Or you want that everyone polices everyone and as soon as someone sees the need to safe their reputation (who will decide that?) or anythingelse they post pm's. Not a fun and very community like idea. Who will be the judge, jury?
What a shit show. Some of the no-voters act like a yes-vote automatically means we’re gonna post all of your PMs for no good reason. I wouldn’t post anyone’s PMs unless in the very rare instance where I had to clear my name or something of that nature. I don’t expect that’ll happen but it still means it’s a greater than zero percent chance, hence I voted yes
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