So I'm "half-Jewish" and was a typical class clown growing up. I was picked on a lot because I'm short and sometimes because I'm Jewish, so I eventually adapted to be comfortable poking fun at myself and fun at everyone else, which took the sting out of things.
Again I'll reiterate that when I first met the chippers for this meatup, it was for breakfast in a small restaurant that was moderately busy. We meet everyone and sit down, and shortly thereafter hear Guinness telling a story about his dick (I think it was about an operation, don't recall exactly). But bear in mind this guy just met me and my wife, and he's launching into this fairly graphic story, and he's telling it loud enough that other patrons are looking at us. This doesn't bother me, but it sets the tone of what I felt the groups "acceptable behavior" was.
From my recollection, the only jokes I made (outside of the stories I will share) were directed squarely at my own Jewish heritage (such as, what's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A Jew doesn't tip! What type of brakes does a Jewish car have? Stop on the dime brakes! Why do Jews like football so much? Because the object is to get the quarter.......back)
Now on to the stories portion of my tale, which I believe is where the real issues lie.
I worked at Cigna in a temporary I.T. job. The company they contracted to handle their internal support for 35,000 nationwide employees was failing to meet its Service Level Agreements, so they brought a bunch of temps in to get caught up.
A group of us went through a week-long boot camp of sorts, and the guy who ran it was kinda a dick. His name was Ray and he'd say stuff like "you're a desktop support technician, figure it out" and was just generally gruff and unfriendly. So we all bonded over surviving our week with him, and I adopted this redneck voice and would imitate him and the guys got a kick out of it.
We worked on a huge campus that had its own cafeteria, gym, etc. We were stuck in a huge empty room full of wall to wall cubicles away from the permanent workers, so we had the area to ourselves and it was actually one of the most fun jobs I've ever had just because of the group I was working with.
Anyway, one guy in our group was named Mohammed Hussein, and he looked the part. But he had been in the US since he was 3 and didn't have an accent and spoke perfect English. The entire group busted on one another in a variety of ways, including jokes, pranks, etc.
I told him one day that I'd come into work wearing my yarmulke and we'd go into the cafeteria holding hands together, then we'd raise our hands up in the air and I'd shout "It's ok! I took some of his land but we've worked it out, we're good now!"
Each day I'd come in and see him and say stupid stuff in my redneck "Ray" voice, like:
Hey there Ali-baba, what's a barrel of oil going for these days?
Hey there Genghis, where'd you park your horse?
What's it like being a Somali Pirate?
I want my three wishes, give em to me Genie! (he had one of those little chin beards)
It was stupid, ridiculous humor, there was no malicious intent and he would laugh his ass off and he'd rib on me too. It was all in good fun and we both got along great.
One day we were throwing paper airplanes around the cubicles, so I went over to his cubicle, slapped on my Ray voice and said "this is for 9-11 you sumbitch!" and threw the paper airplane at him. A good time was had by all. Again, dark, twisted, inappropriate humor, but no malice.
We also had one black guy in our group named Bryant. Sometimes I'd be at Mohammed's cubicle and then I'd call over to Bryant in my "Ray" voice and say "Hey Bryant, get over here, I need you to translate, I can't understand a word this guy is saying!" and he'd be like "oh, cause I've got dark skin I must speak his language?" and he'd crack up too.
At lunch I turned to Bryant and in my Ray voice said "hey Bryant, me and the guys are gonna play some hockey, we were gunna invite you, but, well............you know...." and he says "oh, cause I'm Black I can't play hockey?!" and I'm like "no, NO! Of course not, I mean, of course you could play hockey, if it was played in the sand and you wore grass skirts and instead of a hockey stick you used a spear" and he laughed and said "I hate you so much" (it should be noted we weren't playing hockey, there was no actual hockey game, Bryant wasn't being excluded from anything, it was just something we could picture Ray saying because he was a dick)
Oh yeah, there was a skinny white kid in our group and Bryant saw this really large black girl and said she was going to make him her boyfriend and then we just kept rolling with that all the time whenever we'd see her at lunch. He even said the kid wanted the "booty avalanche".
So yeah, my humor is dark and twisted and inappropriate and racial, but it's not meant with malice and these guys didn't take it that way. while we only worked together for a few months on the assignment years ago, we keep in touch to this day.
Can I see how my humor could be seen as racist by people who don't know me well? Sure. And I'm sure some of you will think I am racist because you've experienced a different set of life circumstances than I have and while this sort of humor in the mixed circle I grew up in was commonplace, obviously it wasn't in yours or this sort of humor where you grew up was meant maliciously. I can't fix that, I can try to be more aware of it, and I think from my first days at CT I've come a long way in that regard.
I think what sent everything spiraling back down recently on these boards was when all the confederate flag broo-ha-ha was taking place. I expressed outrage at apple for banning a civil war computer game from their store because they refused to remove the confederate flags from the game (uh, it's history? wtf?) It wound up getting resolved, but Butler took the opportunity to try to paint me as a racist over it and can't seem to discuss anything without resorting to name calling and insult-hurling.