Would you ban a player for... (43 Viewers)

[TheYeti]

I have a player, let's call him "Bob", who was referred by one of my regs, "John", about a year back. Bob's usually a nice enough guy, but he's always rubbed me the wrong way and I could tell after a few games that he had the potential to be a "hot head". He's one of those who will complain vociferously when he gets sucked out on (which happens a LOT at my game since a good portion of my players will play literally any two cards, lol).

Last Friday he was particularly steamed when he held KK, bet big all the way to the river only to get beat when 67s hit a straight. First offense; he SLAMMED his cards down on top of the pot (my CPCs!) quite violently. I immediately told him that is unacceptable and if he damages my cards or chips he's going to be paying for them. He failed to apologize or even acknowledge that I had said anything at all.

A small bit of history; Bob worked at a car dealership with John for many years, but recently Bob was fired and had to go back to work for the family business, a local flower shop.

After the slamming of the cards/chips, John jokingly said to Bob, "settle down Flower Boy!". That set Bob off! Second offense; Bob physically threatens John by saying "You better shut the f*ck up or your gonna end up with a bloody nose!" and "You wanna take this outside?!". John told Bob to cool it and maybe take a break. Bob did not take a break, but settled down enough to play and not be disruptive.

Third offense (much smaller offense, but still annoying); we play two decks/shuffle behind. I always do riffle-riffle-box-riffle-cut whether the previous hand is over by then or not. Well, the previous hand folded out very quickly one time and I wasn't quite done with my shuffle. Bob says something to the effect of "Geez, how many times you gotta shuffle those??" and gives a little chuckle. I let is slide. Next orbit, I'm shuffling again, and again the previous hand gets over very quickly, Bob looks down at the cards I'm shuffling and laughs loudly. I say, "what's so funny?", Bob says "oh, nothing" and keeps giggling as I finish the shuffle. I just roll my eyes.

After ruminating over all this for a couple days, I've decided that the first and second offenses were egregious enough to deserve a ban and I removed Bob from my invite list. AIO?

 

[JMC9389]

I would understand frustration with being sucked out on.

Threatening physical violence of any kind towards anyone would be grounds for immediate dismissal for the night and being removed from the invite list for good.

 

[justsomedude]

My 2-cents (which ain't worth a damn)...

People get heated in poker. Slamming cards, etc., while not appreciated by us chip-nerds, is something I usually let slide.

However, the 2x physical threats are worthy of a permanent ban. That's just inexcusable.

 

[inca911]

 

[LifeForm]

Yeah no need for that kind of energy around.

 

[doublebooyah85]

Sounds like he’s just having fun (in a asshat way) and blowing off steam but ultimately he’s an ass. I wouldn’t “ban” him but just stop inviting him. If he asks his friend why just say you got tired of his antics. Maybe he will call and apologize. Maybe in 3 months you will need a body and he will have had learned and be a bit more of a hospitable guest than an ass. Or maybe you never invite him back.

 

[BarrieJ3]

It’s an obvious no return, simply from the perspective of your liability as host and homeowner.

It’s an obvious no brainer and not really worth the question. Taking it a step further, I’m surprised by how many people have people playin at their games that are either wildly unpredictable, previously hired/fired by another player, separated not amicably from another player, etc. in your home.

While it’s incredibly unlikely, in many states home poker is technically illegal and it wouldn’t take much for someone to cause issues by calling it in.

Personally, I’m not risking the lawsuits, legal problems, insurance issues, etc. by having those folks in attendance.

 

[ThinkingFold]

Bad reaction to a suck out is not a ban offense as long as it is isolated imho ( we've all been there ).

Threating physical violence, especially from a new player, is 100% ban hammer. Cutting it off before it becomes a real issue was the right move.

 

[JMC9389]

It’s an obvious no return, simply from the perspective of your liability as host and homeowner.

It’s an obvious no brainer and not really worth the question. Taking it a step further, I’m surprised by how many people have people playin at their games that are either wildly unpredictable, previously hired/fired by another player, separated not amicably from another player, etc. in your home.

While it’s incredibly unlikely, in many states home poker is technically illegal and it wouldn’t take much for someone to cause issues by calling it in.

Personally, I’m not risking the lawsuits, legal problems, insurance issues, etc. by having those folks in attendance.

This is why I will say no, with very few exceptions, to someone saying "hey, I have a family member/friend or friend of a friend that would like to come and play".

I want to know who I'm bringing into my home and who will be in close proximity to my family. I'd rather not play than roll the dice on unknowns even if someone I trust vouches for them.

 

[ekricket]

I have a player, let's call him "Bob", who was referred by one of my regs, "John", about a year back. Bob's usually a nice enough guy, but he's always rubbed me the wrong way and I could tell after a few games that he had the potential to be a "hot head". He's one of those who will complain vociferously when he gets sucked out on (which happens a LOT at my game since a good portion of my players will play literally any two cards, lol).

Last Friday he was particularly steamed when he held KK, bet big all the way to the river only to get beat when 67s hit a straight. First offense; he SLAMMED his cards down on top of the pot (my CPCs!) quite violently. I immediately told him that is unacceptable and if he damages my cards or chips he's going to be paying for them. He failed to apologize or even acknowledge that I had said anything at all.

A small bit of history; Bob worked at a car dealership with John for many years, but recently Bob was fired and had to go back to work for the family business, a local flower shop.

After the slamming of the cards/chips, John jokingly said to Bob, "settle down Flower Boy!". That set Bob off! Second offense; Bob physically threatens John by saying "You better shut the f*ck up or your gonna end up with a bloody nose!" and "You wanna take this outside?!". John told Bob to cool it and maybe take a break. Bob did not take a break, but settled down enough to play and not be disruptive.

Third offense (much smaller offense, but still annoying); we play two decks/shuffle behind. I always do riffle-riffle-box-riffle-cut whether the previous hand is over by then or not. Well, the previous hand folded out very quickly one time and I wasn't quite done with my shuffle. Bob says something to the effect of "Geez, how many times you gotta shuffle those??" and gives a little chuckle. I let is slide. Next orbit, I'm shuffling again, and again the previous hand gets over very quickly, Bob looks down at the cards I'm shuffling and laughs loudly. I say, "what's so funny?", Bob says "oh, nothing" and keeps giggling as I finish the shuffle. I just roll my eyes.

After ruminating over all this for a couple days, I've decided that the first and second offenses were egregious enough to deserve a ban and I removed Bob from my invite list. AIO?

He’d be gone. It’s ok to complain a little about being sucked out on, but fits of rage are not ok, no matter how small.

y; Bob worked at a car dealership with John for many years, but recently Bob was fired and had to go back to work for the family business, a local flower shop.

This tells it all. Not even car salesmen liked him around. If he’s not careful he will end up with the lawyers

 

[GamingWithChips]

I try to make my games fun, positive vibes. If someone is actively taking away from that, they can frig off.

Side note, people who get really upset at the luck aspect of poker need to play a different game. I actually get really annoyed when someone gets upset and says another player is bad for being lucky and sucking out…to quote Tony G, “OF COURSE I PLAYED 82o, IT’S POKER, PHIL!”

 

[TheYeti]

It’s an obvious no brainer and not really worth the question. Taking it a step further, I’m surprised by how many people have people playin at their games that are either wildly unpredictable, previously hired/fired by another player, separated not amicably from another player, etc. in your home.

Agreed, but in this particular situation, Bob had never demonstrated any violent tendencies until the incident described in the OP, and he wasn't fired by the friend, he was fired by their mutual boss and Bob and John are still friends to this day.

 

[upNdown]

My 2-cents (which ain't worth a damn)...

People get heated in poker. Slamming cards, etc., while not appreciated by us chip-nerds, is something I usually let slide.

However, the 2x physical threats are worthy of a permanent ban. That's just inexcusable.

100% all of this

 

[valleychips]

Had a guy who behaved like this (to a lesser degree) at my games. Any time he got sucked out on, if he was ahead preflop, he'd whine/complain, almost specifically as though this only happened to him. Somehow when it happened to the rest of us, he didn't care. If he lost, he'd throw/slam the cards down, or fling them when folding. We all could feel his anger. Then at one point he made a bad call and after losing, he threw his chips at the winning player. I'd seen enough. I told him he couldn't do that ever again, and then I narrowed my invite list to exclude him. He's sometimes allowed to deal for tips (he's fine in that capacity) but not play unless my second table has only 5 players, so he can deal/play only if other players request it for the game. And I'll ban him as a dealer too if he ever does that shit again. If he ever threatened violence (he wouldn't), auto ban.

Guys who see poker as a referendum on their lives ruin the game for the rest of us.

 

[BarrieJ3]

Agreed, but in this particular situation, Bob had never demonstrated any violent tendencies until the incident described in the OP, and he wasn't fired by the friend, he was fired by their mutual boss and Bob and John are still friends to this day.

Makes sense. I misread as he worked for not with.

 

[chippitydoodah]

I would understand frustration with being sucked out on.

Threatening physical violence of any kind towards anyone would be grounds for immediate dismissal for the night and being removed from the invite list for good.

If slamming your cards down in frustration was a bannable offense, then @JMC9389 would have to ban himself from his own game

 

[dizzyChipper]

NTA

 

[ChaosRock]

Yes.

 

[Freudeus]

Super easy ban. Threaten a fellow player? He's not welcome to my game or home ever again.

 

[rum3002576]

Maybe take him outside and give him a bloody nose to see if he still wants to play
I would not invite him back.

 

[LotsOfChips]

Second offense; Bob physically threatens John by saying "You better shut the f*ck up or your gonna end up with a bloody nose!" and "You wanna take this outside?!". John told Bob to cool it and maybe take a break. Bob did not take a break, but settled down enough to play and not be disruptive.

In my home, this would have led to me telling Bob to leave immediately.

I have zero tolerance for any threats or violent behaviour.

From my house rules:

Certain behaviour will not be tolerated. Violators will be asked to leave immediately.

• Disrespectful, disruptive or abusive language or behaviour.(no warning)
• (there's more to the list, not relevant to this thread)

Players asked to leave will forfeit any claim to the current pot or potential winnings. Current cash game holdings (not including chips in a pot) may be redeemed, and tournament buy-in amount (single bullet) may be refunded at the discretion of the host.

 

[JMC9389]

If slamming your cards down in frustration was a bannable offense, then @JMC9389 would have to ban himself from his own game

I don't even remember what that hand was about, but it definitely was a worse bad beat than a straight over an overpair.

 

[chippitydoodah]

I don't even remember what that hand was about, but it definitely was a worse bad beat than a straight over an overpair.

"That hand"? You say it like it was an isolated incident

 

[cpac54]

Threatening physical violence would be an immediate exit for the night from me, but honestly, John sounds like a bit of a dick in this situation too.

Prodding a guy who's steamed after losing a big pot with the fact that he just got fired and had to take a job which he in all likelihood sees as an embarrassment? No need to kick a guy when he's down.

 

[JMC9389]

"That hand"? You say it like it was an isolated incident

IT'S ONLY BEEN TWICE THAT YOU'VE SEEN!!!

 

[upNdown]

he SLAMMED his cards down on top of the pot (my CPCs!) quite violently.

I don’t love angry outburst reactions like that, but it happens and I’ve been guilty of it. What’s much more important to me as a host and as a player is what happens next. If they can move on from that and continue playing like a pleasant human, great. If they’re going to continue being angry and silently seethe and everybody at the table knows they’re going to be miserable until they win some talking chips - who needs that?

 

[detroitdad]

Yes

I've removed players from my invite list for way less reasons that what is in the OP.

 

[WedgeRock]

I'd talk to Bob on the side and tell him he's should tread lightly. Make him understand why you are contemplating a ban, and that if his behavior continues, he's gonna be banned.

EDIT: I'm surprised at how many people are quick to ban. I read OP's threat of violence as more of an empty threat between friends. Subtleties are sometimes difficult to sus out in written word. If it was a legitimate threat, yes, autoban. Otherwise, I'd talk to the guy, tell him what the expectations are and warn him about what will happen if he continues to act like a dickhead.

 

[bigdonkey]

Threatening physical violence would be an immediate exit from me, but honestly, John sounds like a bit of a dick in this situation too.

Prodding a guy who's steamed after losing a big pot with the fact that he just got fired and had to take a job which he in all likelihood sees as an embarrassment? No need to kick a guy when he's down.

Also, without being there its hard to judge how serious it was. OP states John and Bob are still friends, so I doubt there is any serious animosity. I "threaten violence" with my friends (the ones who can joke that way) and I've never thrown a punch in my life. OP said this happened right after his cards were slammed so he may have been upset and took it wrong. But again, without being there, no idea.

Ultimately, if OP doesn't want the guy there, that's reason enough to uninvite. One of the perks of being host (assuming you otherwise still have enough players for a game.)

 

[grantc54]

One of the advantages of hosting is that you can decide who is and isn't invited to play. Regardless of his behaviour (which is out of line) it sounds like you don't enjoy playing with Bob. If you don't enjoy playing with him, don't invite him.

I have found that by curating the invite list and being selective about who plays can make a big difference in the enjoyment of the game for everyone (even one person can make a big difference).