Tell me a good story. (1 Viewer)

[AlbinoDragon]

Here's one that just happened today.

Went to the Dunkin Donuts near me today to pick up half a dozen donuts because I felt like treating the kids. This particular location is located within a convenience store as a part of a gas station on a main road.

I use the east entrance with the parking spaces in front of the store to my right. Some Range Rover like SUV comes barreling in through the south entrance, through a filling station and into a parking spot right in front of me, looking like they're in a hurry.

The lot is empty and I park two spots over to the right because I'm not a sociopathic animal that parks right next to the only other car in the lot.

Somehow I get out of my car before this person, but suddenly I see a middle aged woman, looking to be in a huge rush run up to the entrance of the store in back of me.

I open the door and see this lady giving me some of the most evil eyes looking back at me. I open the door and let her through in front of me.

Not before she even gets to the counter, she blurts out "DO YOU HAVE ANY MUFFINS LEFT???". She sees a collection of about 7 or 8 muffins in the display counter from about 10 feet away and breathes an audible sigh of relief. She gets closer and grunts. "UGH, NO CHOCOLATE CHIP?!?!? FUCK". And storms out without saying anything. I order my donuts from the shellshocked teenage girl at the counter, thank her, and leave.

What I am curious about is what this woman wanted with a chocolate chip muffin so desperately at 2pm on a Saturday.

I guess it's one of those things that you had to be there to appreciate it, but once I got back to the car, I lost it. I haven't laughed that hard in a long while lol

I had a similar experience at a Chipotle maybe 18 months ago. Guy is in line behind me and when he orders his burrito bowl, he's informed they were out of white rice and would have more in 10 minutes (I already heard this part from the folks behind the counter and didn't mind). He was visibly and audibly upset about the lack of white rice. He wondered aloud how this is could be the only Chipotle in town without white rice and promptly stormed out of the restaurant without ordering a thing. Myself, one other patron and the whole staff behind the counter were a little stunned by this.

 

[chippitydoodah]

#countchocula

My thought was c*nt chocula

 

[Mongoose]

Here's one that just happened today.

Went to the Dunkin Donuts near me today to pick up half a dozen donuts because I felt like treating the kids. This particular location is located within a convenience store as a part of a gas station on a main road.

I use the east entrance with the parking spaces in front of the store to my right. Some Range Rover like SUV comes barreling in through the south entrance, through a filling station and into a parking spot right in front of me, looking like they're in a hurry.

The lot is empty and I park two spots over to the right because I'm not a sociopathic animal that parks right next to the only other car in the lot.

Somehow I get out of my car before this person, but suddenly I see a middle aged woman, looking to be in a huge rush run up to the entrance of the store in back of me.

I open the door and see this lady giving me some of the most evil eyes looking back at me. I open the door and let her through in front of me.

Not before she even gets to the counter, she blurts out "DO YOU HAVE ANY MUFFINS LEFT???". She sees a collection of about 7 or 8 muffins in the display counter from about 10 feet away and breathes an audible sigh of relief. She gets closer and grunts. "UGH, NO CHOCOLATE CHIP?!?!? FUCK". And storms out without saying anything. I order my donuts from the shellshocked teenage girl at the counter, thank her, and leave.

What I am curious about is what this woman wanted with a chocolate chip muffin so desperately at 2pm on a Saturday.

I guess it's one of those things that you had to be there to appreciate it, but once I got back to the car, I lost it. I haven't laughed that hard in a long while lol

SERIOUS munchies. Lol!

 

[MrCatPants]

THREAD REVIVAL

 

[Taghkanic]

I open the door and see this lady giving me some of the most evil eyes looking back at me. I open the door and let her through in front of me.

She thought you were there to snag the last chocolate chip muffin before her.

I’ve heard that legalized weed is strong.

 

[dpeks13]

I was the newbie bartender at a shore bar during the annual Christmas Party. Essentially a lot of the regulars were there and got a free meal, but bought a lot of drinks for the staff. Since I was new I was working behind the bar. Had a few drinks but was probably the closest to sober of anyone in the place that night. One of the waitresses decided to go the other way, and got sloppy drunk too quick. Falling asleep at the bar, etc. The manager decided that she needed to go home, and I was going to be the one to take her.

Problem is, I had no idea where she lived. Someone gave me her address so problem solved. But we got there, and I woke her up enough for her to tell me that she had moved out, and lived at a different address. Then passed out again. I was able to coax an address out of her eventually. During the trip she opened the door to the car while I was doing 35 and almost fell out, so to say the trip was stressful would be an understatement.

We pull up to an apartment complex, and she kisses me passionately and DARTS out the door. I quickly chase after her to make sure she isn't going to wind up passed out in the woods, and find a wide open apartment door with her standing in front of an open fridge. She closes it and disappears. I go to leave and suddenly hear "WHO THE F*CK ARE YOU????"

I quickly explain the situation and find out that I'm at her (very disappointed) mom's house, and she'd take care of her from there.
Had to drive back and finish the rest of my shift, but had an epic story to tell everyone.

 

[JMC9389]

I was the newbie bartender at a shore bar during the annual Christmas Party. Essentially a lot of the regulars were there and got a free meal, but bought a lot of drinks for the staff. Since I was new I was working behind the bar. Had a few drinks but was probably the closest to sober of anyone in the place that night. One of the waitresses decided to go the other way, and got sloppy drunk too quick. Falling asleep at the bar, etc. The manager decided that she needed to go home, and I was going to be the one to take her.

Problem is, I had no idea where she lived. Someone gave me her address so problem solved. But we got there, and I woke her up enough for her to tell me that she had moved out, and lived at a different address. Then passed out again. I was able to coax an address out of her eventually. During the trip she opened the door to the car while I was doing 35 and almost fell out, so to say the trip was stressful would be an understatement.

We pull up to an apartment complex, and she kisses me passionately and DARTS out the door. I quickly chase after her to make sure she isn't going to wind up passed out in the woods, and find a wide open apartment door with her standing in front of an open fridge. She closes it and disappears. I go to leave and suddenly hear "WHO THE F*CK ARE YOU????"

I quickly explain the situation and find out that I'm at her (very disappointed) mom's house, and she'd take care of her from there.
Had to drive back and finish the rest of my shift, but had an epic story to tell everyone.

Dude, you're life is a literal sitcom

 

[dpeks13]

Dude, you're life is a literal sitcom

The last 20 or so years has turned into quite the snoozefest. I wouldn't pick up this pilot

 

[bergs]

I was playing 8/16 HE at Talking Stick a while back waiting for another game to start. I’m OTB and look down at 88 and I raise. Guy to my left that looks like Cotton Eye Joe calls, Angry Guy (was indiscriminately angry at everyone all day) calls, and the button who had a crystal ball spinner and literally looks like the wizard from Lord of the Rings calls.

Yes, my table is full of characters. My friend Luan is also at the table and a guy I know from Gila River is dealing so I’m chatting with folks during the hand being dealt.

Flop is 228 with 2 suits. Wheeeee!

Everyone else checks and I’m last to act. I’m shuffling chips and I cut out a bet and Angry Guy loudly exclaims “HE CHECKED! I SAW IT I HEARD IT HE CHECKED!”

I’m clearly never checking the 2nd nuts. Hell, I’m probably not checking the 322nd nuts.

I tell Robbie the Dealer “I didn’t act yet.” He says “I know, go ahead”. I slide out a bet. Angry Guy goes SpaceX-rocket-explosion ballistic and starts screaming for the floor.

Floor comes over. Angry Guy starts to yell that I checked and I can’t act if I checked (so at a minimum he has grasped the fundamental tenets of operational poker).

Robbie the Dealer quietly says “Bergs didn’t check”. Luan coyly drawls “yeah, checking isn’t really Bergs’ thing.” I glance at Cotton Eye Joe and he’s staring into space wondering “where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?”. Wizard guy is idly playing with his ball (the crystal ball one, not the result of a wound from the War of 1812.)

Angry Guy yells “YOU KNOW YOU CHECKED!” at me. I’m laughing and I’m like “I didn’t check - I’m physically incapable of checking this hand - but it’s $8, I don’t care”.

Floor tells dealer that I didn’t check, action is on me. I shrug and slide out 4 $2 chips. Everyone folds.

Angry guy gets up and sits down. Then he gets up again and yells “THIS IS WRONG!”. And sits down. Then he stands up and yells “YOU KNOW YOU CHECKED YOU ANGLER”. And sits down. Then he gets up again and I cut him off and quietly ask him “…..are you a human pogo stick? UP DOWN UP DOWN UP DOWN, you’re like a Mortal Kombat cheat code”

He gets pissed and racks up and I’m like “you aren’t calling, then?”. As he walks by me and he scowls and yells “FUCKING REGS! ALWAYS GETTING YOUR WAY.”

I stand up because enough is enough. He’s walking away and I bark “HEY! TURN AROUND!”

Everything around me stops. Everyone freezes. Floor man is frozen. Robbie is just staring at me open mouthed. Angry Guy slowly turns around and starts walking towards me.

I put my hand up to stop him and he freezes. He’s just staring at me. Everyone is waiting for me to blow up.

I lean in and quietly ask….

“Am I really a reg? Really?”

I turn to Robbie and I go “Robbie, I’m a reg now!”. I’m beaming with false pride and unfounded optimism. He gives me a high five. Luan laughs and says “you’re a bad reg but you’re still a reg”. Wizard guy just idly states “you’re a reg now”. I reply “yes, yes, I am”. I even try to high-five Cotton Eye Joe, but his eyes are 3/4 closed and he’s wondering if the safe Geraldo opened was really empty.

I turn around and hold my arms out and I address the entire room with “HEY EVERYONE! I’M A REG NOW!” People start clapping. I bow in humility, and immediately feel an inalienable urge to order a large black coffee and do The NY Times crossword puzzle.

Angry Guy absolutely bellows “I HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE!!!” and walks up to the cashier.

Floor is still standing there grinning. I tell him “can you call over management? I’m a reg now, I have strong ideas about this place”. Three guys from the next table start chanting “ONE OF US”. Angry Guy has not been seen since.

Wore this shirt my next trip to Talkint Stick.