Silly jokes (6 Viewers)

[Machine]

How many PLO players does it take to plant a flower?


Who knows, they all just keep re-potting it.

 

[Isorg]

I am writing a new self help book "How To Fall Down the Stairs in 3 Easy Steps."

Step 1, Step 3, Step 6.

 

[Poker Zombie]

How many PLO players does it take to plant a flower?


Who knows, they all just keep re-potting it.

Already been done:

 

[Tommy]

What did they find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?

Spoiler

Head & Shoulders

 

[WedgeRock]

Already been done:

Who did this Photoshop without putting @detroitdad's face on the gardener?

 

[Poker Zombie]

AI is twitchy today.

 

[detroitdad]

View attachment 1583744

AI is twitchy today.

That is absolutely more accurate

 

[BEANO52]

View attachment 1583744

AI is twitchy today.

Added another edit:

@bsdunbar1

 

[chippitydoodah]

A group of gay people asked me for directions

So I told them to go straight

 

[chippitydoodah]

 

[chippitydoodah]

A woman I slept with told me I had the biggest penis she'd ever seen. Turns out she was blind..

Spoiler

She was just pulling my leg

 

[chippitydoodah]

Why was the letter E the only letter to get a gift from santa?

Because all the other letters were not E

 

[chippitydoodah]

What is the Grinch's least favorite band?

Spoiler

The Who

 

[pokerkid05]

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

“Supplies!”

 

[chippitydoodah]

Spoiler

In The Ark Hives

 

[WedgeRock]

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

...in his sleevies.

 

[Beakertwang]

What do you call a ln extremely fat psychic who works at a bank?

Spoiler

A four chin teller.

 

[Mr Winberg]

What do you call a ln extremely fat psychic who works at a bank?

Spoiler

A four chin teller.

Speaking of psychics, did you hear about the dwarf fortune teller who escaped from prison? It was a small medium at large.

 

[buzzmonkey]

"I was out at the truck stop doing favors for long haulers. I made $400.05!"
"Who gave you a nickel?"
"They all did!"

 

[JStew]

Speaking of psychics, did you hear about the fortune teller from California whose expertise was predicting when you were going to have bad breath?

Spoiler

She hung a sign above her business that said “Super Californian Mystic Expert Hallitosis”

 

[chippitydoodah]

I have this weird talent where I can identify what's inside a wrapped present.

Spoiler

It's a gift

 

[Beakertwang]

My wife just came into the room and suggested I need to sell some of my poker chips. "You almost never host any games, they take up a lot of extra space, and we could really use the money for our kitchen remodel."

She must have noticed the unsettled look on my face. "What's wrong?" she asked.

I replied "oh, it's just that for a second there, you sounded a lot like my ex-wiife."

She recoiled a bit. "You never told me you were married before me."

"I wasn't."

 

[WedgeRock]

The guy who developed the concept of wind chill died today.

He was 93, but he felt 88.

 

[Coyote]

Chuck Norris killed the Dead Sea.

 

[Coyote]

Chuck was given birth by his aunt, 'cause nobody dared fuck his mother.

 

[chippitydoodah]

Spoiler

It should have taken a lot longer but they worked around the clock

 

[chippitydoodah]

 

[Mr Winberg]

A guy goes to the doctor.

Guy: I just can't get that song out of my head, "Sexbomb sexbomb you're my sexbomb"! It's been months!!

Doctor: Hmmm... It seems like you have Tom Jones syndrome.

Guy: Oh my god! Is it rare?

Doctor: It's not unusual...

 

[Pinkdan]

A guy goes to the doctor.

Guy: I just can't get that song out of my head, "Sexbomb sexbomb you're my sexbomb"! It's been months!!

Doctor: Hmmm... It seems like you have Tom Jones syndrome.

Guy: Oh my god! Is it rare?

Doctor: It's not unusual...