Silly jokes (3 Viewers)

[prothenb]

What's brown and sticky?

- a stick

 

[prothenb]

How do you do the spoiler thing for jokes?

Spoiler

Did I do it right?

 

[WedgeRock]

How do you do the spoiler thing for jokes?

Spoiler

Did I do it right?

You got the spoiler right.

Now let's work on the search function.

What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler

A stick.

What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler

A stick.

What's brown and sticky?

- a stick

 

[chippitydoodah]

A woman comes out of the shower, winks at her husband and says "I shaved down there...you know what that means".

The husband says

Spoiler

Yeah, the damn drain is clogged again.

 

[chippitydoodah]

I just rolled a joint

Spoiler

It was an ankle

Spoiler

Im old

 

[WedgeRock]

My kid came home from school and informed me that his friend told him, "heterosexuals like Sony, homosexuals prefer Pioneer, and transgenders are partial to Yamaha."

I had to make sure he understood.

"Son, those are just stereo types."

 

[BonScot]

A friend of mine is having an affair with his wife’s twin.

I asked him how he could tell them apart.

He said “her brother’s got a moustache”.

 

[chippitydoodah]

A friend of mine is having an affair with his wife’s twin.

I asked him how he could tell them apart.

He said “her brother’s got a moustache”.

kid friendly version

 

[rowlin]

The other day a guy asked me if I knew how to build a pyramid, and I said “yeah, up to a point.”

 

[warma]

OMG- my wife and I saw Schucked last night (traveling show). If you’re into silly jokes, that musical is for you. Constant puns and silly jokes- I haven’t laughed so hard as far as I can remember.

https://shuckedmusical.com/

 

[PlaidDragon]

Silly Jokes

I saw a an interesting statistic recently stating that "5 out of 4 people don't understand fractions...."

 

[Saoliver]

Did you hear about the guy who invented Altoids?


He made a mint.

 

[Nine_high]

Do you know what Australia's biggest export is?

Spoiler

The boomerang.

Spoiler

It's also their biggest import!

 

[Saoliver]

 

[Beakertwang]

I recently took a pole and found out that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.

 

[ekricket]

The Past, Present, and Future all walk into a bar.
It was a tense moment.

 

[AfterTheFact]

Kind of a joke, kind of not lol…

 

[BonScot]

Never let Sean Connery teach your dog to sit.

 

[RHP]

Why does the Avon lady walk funny?

Her lipstick.

 

[97destroyer]

Why did Barbie and Ken never have any kids?

Ken comes in a different box

 

[RHP]

What’s worse than lesbians running with scissors?

Lesbians scissoring with the runs.

 

[Coyote]

Never let Sean Connery teach your dog to sit.

Or a Greek teach your dog to shit.
Seat, sit, sheet and shit are all pronounced seet in Greek.
Ship, sheep and sip are all pronounced seep.
Beach, bitch and bits are all pronounced beets.

 

[Mr Winberg]

Or a Greek teach your dog to shit.
Seat, sit, sheet and shit are all pronounced seet in Greek.
Ship, sheep and sip are all pronounced seep.
Beach, bitch and bits are all pronounced beets.

I left the seep to seet on the beets

 

[Mr Winberg]

 

[Silverwind]

My doctor asked me why I drink brake fluid.


I told him I just couldn't stop!

 

[Silverwind]

Husband comes up to bed and tries to talk his wife into having sex.
She says no, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to be fresh.
Husband asks " You don't have a dentist appointment tomorrow, do you?"

Husband comes up to bed and tries to talk his wife into having sex.
She says no, I haven't showered I feel dirty.
Husband asks "Well have you brushed your teeth?"

 

[Mr Winberg]

 

[Silverwind]

If I'm ever on death row.. my last meal request will be a birthday cake with a file in it!

 

[WedgeRock]

This morning, Siri said, "Stop calling me Shirley."

I accidentally left my phone in airplane mode.

 

[Mr Winberg]