Ranges here have guns to rent. If that's an option for you, definitely take advantage of it. I've saved thousands of dollars NOT buying pistols that I didn't enjoy firing. The old poker chip adage of "Get Samples" applies even more to guns, IMO.
Make sure its comfortable in your hand and that you can fire it reliably. I can recommend a pistol to you that I love (Springfield XD-M, 9mm), but if you don't shoot it well, find it comfortable, or are confused with the controls, you are not going to be happy with it.
When I purchased my first pistol, I got a revolver. Super easy everything (loading, shooting, cleaning). But its mostly a safe queen now (although I wouldn't sell it because it makes a handy pocket piece when running out).
IMO, I'd definitely recommend 9mm for home defense. Its a good mix of ballistic strength, but control-ability for non-shooters (like your wife and/or adult-ish children), should the need arise. Plus, being a smaller round, capacity on magazines is usually higher for 9mm. Also, no matter what the pitch, if you are looking at revolvers, avoid the Airweight S&W -- too light to handle the punch, even of .38's, IMO. It hurts to shoot.
JMHO.
Will have Gun Locks on them at all time and might get a safe as I have a 6Yo in the house.
Gun locks are a perfect obstacle for actually using a gun when needed. They are fine for hunting rifles, but for home defense, I'd recommend a safe. I have one next to my bed with a couple of pistols and plenty of ammo. Also a good place to keep my poker bankroll (which takes up less room than I'd like...
). Look at laptop safes. (FWIW, this point is not to bolt these to the floor and be secure from thieves...the point is to keep them out of the hands of children, but still accessible if needed.)
Again, JMHO.