Embarrassing Story Thread (1 Viewer)

[chkmte]

Add your embarrassing stories here.

 

[chkmte]

So today as I left the job site - in an unfamiliar neighborhood - I called my dad. As we talked, I became distracted and missed my turn. Our conversation ended and I hung up the phone, or so I thought. At the next intersection, I proclaimed to myself in my angry outside voice, "Oh where the fuck am I?". About that time I heard an unfamiliar female voice coming from my phone. I glanced down and realized that instead of hanging up on pops, I must've dialed someone. I just knew it was my client who I had just serviced... I hung up without saying anything and pulled over to do a quick search on the number. It turns out it was just my Urologist.

 

[chkmte]

Years ago I was headed back to my hometown to see family for the holidays. As I pulled into town and off the highway, I had the sudden need for a bathroom - like now. I pulled into the Wal-Mart and waddled to the back of the store just as quick as could be. I made it just in time too! Then I heard two females talking. I am not a female. I thought...could I have? Oh no, there were no urinals on the way in. I'm in the ladies bathroom! Shit, I did. "So now what?", I thought. Well, I couldn't sit there all night so I waited until I thought the coast was clear - but it wasn't. A little girl (maybe 11 or 12) was standing by the sink staring at me. I washed up as quick as I could and waddled out just as quick as I waddled in. I just knew the non-existent security guard was going to taser me in the back and put me in that little shoplifting room.

 

[Schmendr1ck]

Near the end of my senior year of high school, I was driving around town in the beater that my parents bought me after I dented their car. It was a baby blue 1974 Plymouth Duster with a white vinyl roof - I loved that car.

This was just after Beetlejuice had come out in theaters, and the local radio stations were playing the crap out of Banana Boat Song by Harry Belafonte. I'm singing along while waiting at a stop light with no other cars, belting out "DAAAAY-O! DAAY-AY-AY-O!" with the windows rolled down, just enjoying the beautiful weather and life in general.

Eventually, I turned to the left and saw that I was not really alone. Two college-age couples in a convertible were sitting two lanes over, and all four were staring at me with mouths agape.

I turned about 40 shades of purple, and it seemed like an eternity before the light turned green, but what can you do? I just gave them a wave and a smile, then drove away and laughed my fool head off for a solid five minutes.

 

[Chipandchair]

Years ago I was headed back to my hometown to see family for the holidays. As I pulled into town and off the highway, I had the sudden need for a bathroom - like now. I pulled into the Wal-Mart and waddled to the back of the store just as quick as could be. I made it just in time too! Then I heard two females talking. I am not a female. I thought...could I have? Oh no, there were no urinals on the way in. I'm in the ladies bathroom! Shit, I did. "So now what?", I thought. Well, I couldn't sit there all night so I waited until I thought the coast was clear - but it wasn't. A little girl (maybe 11 or 12) was standing by the sink staring at me. I washed up as quick as I could and waddled out just as quick as I waddled in. I just knew the non-existent security guard was going to taser me in the back and put me in that little shoplifting room.

Respect for still having the decency to wash your hands

 

[sem0030]

Respect for still having the decency to wash your hands

In washing my hands in this situation 0/10 times lololol

 

[Highli99]

When I was an intern I got to go on a company trip to Cancun and went down the slide at senior frogs while the company admin held my clothes. Yay. I was given an award for “Mr Cancun”

The following year we went back. Another intern jumped behind the bar, grabbed a fire extinguisher, hosed down a bartender, then started pouring shots for everyone while the bar tender was recovering.

I won't say what I did that year but my antics bested that guy and I won back to back titles.

I'm just glad people didn't have cell phones back then that they do today or if be in trouble and you tube infamous.

 

[CapybaraFan]

Maybe cheating because this isn't my own story, but it's too good not to tell.

I worked for a few years with a woman who once intended to travel to Charleston, WV and didn't realize until she got off the plane and tried to order an Uber that she had accidentally bought a ticket, boarded the plane, and flown to Charleston, SC. Seems like a simple enough mistake, but when you start thinking about the number of times in the entire series of transactions she ought to have noticed something was amiss, it gets funnier and funnier.

 

[moose]

My wife and her sister are incredibly bad at geography. We have lived in the same city for 20 years but she still needs explicit directions to get to many places in our area. I try and make it simple, like - we get off the highway at University Ave and she still has to ask, University Ave E or University Ave W. Well, if you go E, it pretty much is farmland and if you go West, the city is - right there - beside the highway. City - left, farms - right. But after all this time she still doesn't get which way is the city that holds 150,000 people.

Anyways, about 20 years back, she and her sister were going to visit my other sister-in-law who just had a baby. So off they go together. Now she lives about 100 km away (like 60 mi). To get there you take an E/W running highway. But her highway exit was closed for construction. So they were told to get off at the exit before and take the service road to the next exit. Which is pretty simple right? So they travel together a couple times uneventfully and now I am going with my wife to see the baby. So we get off at the exit before, she turns onto the North service road but turns the wrong way. I'm like "Honey you are going the wrong way". She insists "No we were given instructions - this is right. My sister and I did this before and it worked". I sat there stunned as she proceeded to drive back one exit, turn, drive over the highway onto the South service road, turn now in the correct direction, pass the same exit again, but on the South side, and eventually reach the correct overpass to my sister-in-laws house. She proudly exclaimed "see it works!". No amount of explaining could convince her of what she was doing. Not only did she follow this route twice before - but her sister was with her and never saw anything wrong with it either!

 

[chkmte]

My wife and her sister are incredibly bad at geography. We have lived in the same city for 20 years but she still needs explicit directions to get to many places in our area. I try and make it simple, like - we get off the highway at University Ave and she still has to ask, University Ave E or University Ave W. Well, if you go E, it pretty much is farmland and if you go West, the city is - right there - beside the highway. But after all this time she still doesn't get which way is the city that holds 150,000 people.

Anyways, about 20 years back, she and her sister were going to visit my other sister-in-law who just had a baby. So off they go together. Now she lives about 100 km away (like 60 mi). To get there you take an E/W running highway. But her highway exit was closed for construction. So they were told to get off at the exit before and take the service road to the next exit. Which is pretty simple right? So they travel together a couple times uneventfully and now I am going with my wife to see the baby. So we get off at the exit before, she turns onto the North service road but turns the wrong way. I'm like "Honey you are going the wrong way". She insists "No we were given instructions - this is right. My sister and I did this before and it worked". I sat there stunned as she proceeded to drive back one exit, turn, drive over the highway onto the South service road, turn now in the correct direction, pass the same exit again, but on the South side, and eventually reach the correct overpass to my sister-in-laws house. She proudly exclaimed "see it works!". No amount of explaining could convince her of what she was doing. Not only did she follow this route twice before - but her sister was with her and never saw anything wrong with it either!

SMH. I can see my wife doing this very thing.