Asking to be included on a poker game call/text list? (1 Viewer)

[trigs]

I've recently asked a couple hosts if I can be put on their pre-forum-post call/text lists for games they host.

Obviously, it is completely up to the host who they want to include on such a list. However, I was curious if I'm being rude asking to be included. As a host, I would probably feel bad if someone asked to be on such a list and for whatever reason I did not want to include them. I might feel obligated to add them anyway simply because they asked since explaining why I don't want to add them might be uncomfortable for everyone involved. I do understand that call/text lists like this tend to be for close friends, regs, or whatever and some hosts don't want to include everyone on it. Just curious what others think.

For the record, I do have a list of players I message first before posting a game. I use it simply to give the regular players that come a little head start to sign up. I kind of see it as a courtesy and a "thank you" for regularly attending my game. If someone new starts to come to my games on the regular, I will gladly add them to the list.

 

[umbkcshah]

You've left out the most important details. How long have you been playing with the group, how many sessions, are you good action/positive for the game in some way, etc

Asking to be included before you've demonstrated a positive other than being a body is a turn off.

 

[grantc54]

I think part of hosting is being able to navigate attendees. It's part of the job to ensure those coming to the game are a good fit.

There are a lot of polite excuses that can be used to let someone down without being awkward.

Or as simple as getting the info and then not including them in invite. Ooops, messed up your number.

 

[KHarp1]

I realize that good games are developed and curated by the host, and, as such I believe it's very personal for them. Instead of asking, if I know them pretty well, I will let them know I'm always looking for a good game with good people, and, keep me in mind if they have an opening/looking for someone to fill a seat sometime. If I don't know them then I'm less likely to ask until I get to know them better. I don't want to invite myself into a situation I may end up regretting. I try to handle it with some caution and respect.

 

[trigs]

You've left out the most important details. How long have you been playing with the group, how many sessions, are you good action/positive for the game in some way, etc

Asking to be included before you've demonstrated a positive other than being a body is a turn off.

One of them I've been playing with for quite a while and he comes to my games a lot. He doesn't host very often though, but I've been there a few times. The second just started hosting again recently. I've only been there a few times and he's never come to my games (yet). I think he's run like 5 games and I've been there 3 of the 5 so far.

 

[wickedwonka121]

I realize that good games are developed and curated by the host, and, as such I believe it's very personal for them. Instead of asking, if I know them pretty well, I will let them know I'm always looking for a good game with good people, and, keep me in mind if they have an opening/looking for someone to fill a seat sometime. If I don't know them then I'm less likely to ask until I get to know them better. I don't want to invite myself into a situation I may end up regretting. I try to handle it with some caution and respect.

This is perfect. Show interest without being too forward. You'll get your answer unless the host is just dense

 

[joeyshin]

I just started playing with some local people who were completely strangers. The host I vaguely knew since he used to be a chipper and I bought a set from him before. But I asked if I could play in his game since there weren’t any games around me. He invited me to come play and so each week he would text me if they were playing or not. He alternates hosting with another guy and the other guy invited me to his game too. I played with them about 10 times and last week they asked if they could add my number to their chat. I said sure

They see me as a regular and some of them even groan when I sit since I’ve been on a heater past couple weeks. But I played with them and talked and joked around enough that they saw me as a regular.


I also always tip host $20 win or lose, and often round down and toss the rounded part into the next pot when I leave.

Make good friends and demonstrate you’re not just about the money and they will welcome you like family

 

[Nine_high]

As a host, I would not be bothered if someone asked to be added. After all I'm always looking to expand my pool of regs, and if someone has a good enough time to want more invites I even take it as a compliment.

Depending on how well I know the person and my experience with them, I might start them on a lower tier until they are better established. I've added new people to the main list, the secondary list, and the dreaded "if all else fails" list.

 

[Machine]

As a host, I'm always looking for players. There is nothing wrong with expressing interest and offering your number.

Recently I found a game a few hours south, as a host when some new shows up you typically want to get their info, outside of PCF I loath giving out my info. I once had a local host ask, I give a secondary number most of the time, he said 'Bob, what did you say your last name was?', I promptly said 'I didn't' ugh, anyway the coolest thing happened, I was about to leave and the host said, hey, here's my card, 'call me if you're interested in the next game' - This was a classy move back in the day before cell phones, and today its just bad ass, I was floored with how cool this was, can't wait to go back!

 

[krafticus]

Agree with others. As a host, I'm always looking to add players, and would welcome your inquiry. If you start to get weird responses from me though, or you just stop getting notifications after receiving them for a while ... you're probably on my sh!t list .. and then I'll ignore you, or just be honest about why you were dropped.

I usually only drop people because they ask to be included, and then go radio silent for an extended period of time (usually well over a year)

 

[ThrowBack]

Just ask

If it’s a no they will say something like “ I’ll run it by the group and let you know when we have a seat”

 

[grantc54]

I usually only drop people because they ask to be included, and then go radio silent for an extended period of time (usually well over a year)

Whenever I consider removing people who I haven't heard from in a long time inevitability one of the players who hasn't played in 2 years pops up and joins a game.
Always nice to have a new face at a game every few years and no harm in sending a few extra emails.

 

[Mangatang]

What chips do they play with?

 

[upNdown]

As a host who struggles to fill his 8-max table, I’m always jealous of hosts with long lists. But the few times I’ve expected a full table and had to choose who to invite, I’ve hated having to make decisions about whom to exclude. Sorry this doesn’t really answer the question at all, it’s just the first thought that popped into my head.

I guess if I were in your position, I’d let the host know that I’d like to be at every game, and I’d demonstrate that by showing up whenever invited (as well as bringing a pocket full of buyins, giving good action, and not being a dick or a grump when I lose.

 

[RagingAZN]

Not that I would mind if anyone asked but as a host, if you’re good for the game, I’m going to ask you anyway.

When I say good for the game, I don’t necessarily mean that you need to suck at poker (although that always helps!) Its things like being a good guest, being fun, being a good winner and a gracious loser, not hitting and running, staying for the majority of the game and a decent amount of gambool! etc.

 

[varoadstter]

When I host I vet new players and then ask the regs after for their thoughts. Here's how you get a positive rating:

• Be on time
• Have cash on you
• Don't smell bad
• Be interesting/fun/intelligent
• Pay attention
• Vibe with the group
• Don't have anger/self-control issues
• Don't drive drunk after the game

So much of that is easily done by the player. A couple are subjective but it's not an unreasonably high bar to reach. Also, letting the host know you'd like to be included is very helpful.

 

[4SUMERZ]

I host a bi-monthly game with 7 regulars + me. I have been inquired by some, that learn about the game, that they would like to play. I tell them up front that I have my regulars that fill the table, but I ask if they would like to be added to the spare list, in case one of my regs can't make a game.
Most on my spare list are golf acquaintances or are friends of my regulars, and I also know them abit.
Most of my regulars are retired. We have 1 afternoon session per month, when some of the spares get to play. The monthly night game has some of the guys that still work, and are considered part of my regulars, are old friends that I don't get to see often as they live in another town, so it's nice to have them at the game to catch up on current events in their lives once a month.
I have no problem filling the table at each session.

 

[Bronson]

I think it’s depends of approach:

If you’re just firing to someone “ hey can I come over to the next game” straight after game, way in advance, this might be considered rude. Like few people mentioned before, your presence might need to be discussed with rest of group.

If you will approach them after game and just ask to be added to the list for future consideration; without pushing yourself in. I think that’s completely acceptable.

Loads of hosts would be rather glad to have a waiting list with potential players.

 

[Preditor]

I think it's alright to ask, though when I try to do this stuff I try to give the person an "out".

Something like, "Hey! I am looking for a poker game if you guys ever have any seats open and you think I might be a good fit. I know hosting gatherings like that can be tough though, so no worries if not!"