Silly jokes (5 Viewers)

[cpac54]

I just read about a country in South America with more than 250 million brazilian people.

That’s easily the biggest number I’ve ever heard of!

 

[NotRealNameNoSir]

View attachment 1349540

HA! My grandmother tried to tell this joke but replaced brake fluid with motor oil, it took us a second but we translated then all laughed with her. Its the thought that counts.

 

[Stephendoohamlet]

Where does a General keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

 

[Saoliver]

What kind of pants does a psychic wear?

Spoiler: Punchline

Just a paranormal pants, size medium.

 

[Saoliver]

 

[joeyshin]

This is like the safest joke I’ve ever heard from Norm.

 

[WedgeRock]

What kind of pants did the psychic wear?

Spoiler

Pair a normal pants... Size medium.

 

[Saoliver]

What kind of pants did the psychic wear?

Spoiler

Pair a normal pants... Size medium.

What kind of pants does a psychic wear?

Spoiler: Punchline

Just a paranormal pants, size medium.

 

[WedgeRock]

Yeah, but my joke had 12 more days of silliness.

 

[BonScot]

Guy goes into a library and walks up to the woman at the counter.

Man - hi I’d like a couple of hookers and a bag of coke.

Librarian - Sir! Please be respectful. This is a library.

Man - Oh sorry. *whispers* I’d like a couple of hookers and a bag of coke

 

[Timmah]

Why do cows have hoofs and not feet?

Because they lactose.

Sorry. That was utter nonsense.

 

[WedgeRock]

What's the difference between Black Eyed Peas and Chick Peas?

Spoiler

The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song. Chuck Peas can hummus one.

 

[mdt11]

A skeleton walks into a bar and says: I'll have a beer, and a mop.

 

[Nine_high]

How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?

Spoiler

It becomes a parent.

 

[Pilot38]

Which mobile provider has the best cell service in Lebanon?

Spoiler

A-TNT

 

[Nine_high]

What kind of pants does a ghost wear?

Spoiler

Paranormal pants!

 

[WedgeRock]

Paranormal pants!

Size medium?

 

[BGinGA]

Getting the correct size is less silly.

 

[Winslow2918]

Getting the correct size is less silly.

Smedium as @BGinGA wears

 

[joeyshin]

When someone wears something that doesn’t quite fit I always say “what size you get? Extra medium?”

 

[prothenb]

If you have a cow that doesn't produce milk, is it a Milk Dud or an utter failure?

 

[chippitydoodah]

If you have a cow that doesn't produce milk, is it a Milk Dud or an utter failure?

A cow that doesnt produce milk?
It is "dinner"

 

[chippitydoodah]

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian "Do you have any books on Pavlov's Dogs and Schrodinger's cat?" The librarians says,

Spoiler

"It rings a bell, but I am not sure if its here or not".

 

[MatB]

 

[chippitydoodah]

Tough Crowd

 

[chippitydoodah]

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Spoiler

Make me one with everything

 

[MatB]

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Spoiler

Make me one with everything

A classic. That apparently he didn’t understand.

 

[prothenb]

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

- Depresso

 

[chippitydoodah]

What do hillbillies do on Halloween?

Spoiler

Pumpkin

 

[Beakertwang]

My dog barks 600 times a day.

I didn't count...

Spoiler

that's just a ruff estimate.