Happy Lunar New Year! Which Chinese Zodiac poker animal are you? (1 Viewer)


Royal Flush
Dec 29, 2017
Reaction score
Burnaby (Greater Vancouver), BC
Happy (Chinese) New Year, everyone!

I just got to thinking (very dangerous, I know) about the traditional Chinese zodiac animals and what personalities they are supposed to represent, and was doing a mind exercise to see if it could also be relevant to poker player archetypes among PCF membership and the wider poker world. Take a look at my interpretations and see where you might align!

Year 1 - Rat. The ultimate opportunist. Always smiles, exploits weakness to the max. Never brings anything voluntary into the game or the table unless there's a bigger payout for him, i.e. everybody brings something better. Likes to be seen as much stronger than he is, so bluffs a lot. Not above cheating if he knows he can get away with it. Steals blinds whenever he can. Tends to win a lot, but if he loses then he loses it all. Never chops with anyone. Only ever runs it once.

Year 2 - Ox. Likes to be the strongman, plays methodically. Serious poker face, but often because he just looks dumb. Brings big stacks to the table, has multiple rebuys ready. Generous enough to bring big ticket items to the game, i.e. the best alcohol, the best food (esp. meat dishes). Plays by the rules, not shy about enforcing them, but not in a confrontational way. Runs it twice.

Year 3 - Tiger. Likes to be the strongman like Ox, but likes to lure people in before springing the trap. Resting angry face. Brings big stacks to the table but doesn't like to rebuy, having enough confidence that he can just build off other people. Eats more than his share of the food. Loves to chase draws, gives action. Likes to steal blinds. Knows and plays by rules, willing to enforce it to the point of kicking people out of the game and/or fisticuffs. Never chops. Runs it once.

Year 4 - Rabbit. Is the quickest to act, often to the point of acting out of turn. Hoards wealth, nitty, tends to limp or min-raise. When in a bad spot, will often rely on luck to get him through. Will eat little, but hope to be able to take some leftovers home. After pot is awarded, likes to show his cards when he doesn't have to, win or lose. Tends to be the best looking/best dressed at the table. Runs it twice when it is clearly to his advantage.

Year 5 - Dragon. Wise in experience and skill. Knows all the rules and enforces them but is patient with explanations. Tournament director. Serious poker face. Has seemingly unlimited bankroll, but doesn't bring in enough to cover table all at once. Never apologizes, expects deference from all. Eats and drinks a lot. Never openly celebrates a win or whines about a loss. Not necessarily the best dressed at the table, but likely has the most expensive car/house/earning/chip collection.

Year 6 - Snake. Quiet and unassuming, highly skilled. Always knows where the action is. Plays methodically and has a reputation for reading opponents well, exploits weakness. Loves to trap and steal, but not necessarily to chase. Knows all the rules, but prefers others to enforce them. Never acts out of turn, never shows hand except when required to win the pot. Tanks the longest. Seems to hit it on the river more often than mathematically possible.

Year 7 - Horse. Quiet, but plays steady. Never bothered by anything unless he falls into a trap. Not easily scared off pots because he doesn't have the patient to calculate odds. Always shows up if he says he'll be there. Will probably chase draws more often than not. Eats and drinks a lot, but can be counted on to do pick up and heavy lifting. Runs it twice.

Year 8, 9, 10 - Sheep, Monkey, Rooster. The Three Musketeers. Are all here for the social aspect, therefore will always show up. Can play poorly, average, or well, but often doesn't give a shit. Most obvious tells. Happy to bring money to the table and food to the game. Most often will be telling stories, laughing to the point of distraction and unable to follow the action. Understands there are such things as rules, but aren't particularly worried about enforcing them, forgives mistakes easily. Loves circus games, especially when there's multiple boards. Likely to chop. Runs it more than twice if allowed to. Probably knows (and participates in) all home games within a 20 mile radius.

Sheep - Brings more food than he eats. Will keep bringing money to the table as long as overall loses are small. Can be counted on to vote with the majority in a contentious situation. Generally doesn't whine about losses/bad beats. Never offends. Regularly grinds back losses for small wins.
Monkey - As the tool-user, loves the equipment aspect: cards, chips, shufflers, and any doodad that can enhance a game. Likes to deal. Doesn't like to lose, and will whine incessantly if on a cooler. Laughs a lot, and not afraid to be in-your-face about winning when it happens.
Rooster - Picky eater, but always goes for the best available. Nit. Usually brings the smallest bankroll and rarely rebuys. Talks a lot, tanks a lot. Biggest variance from losses to wins.

Year 11, 12 - Dog, Pig. The Dynamic Duo. All here for the social aspect. Resting happy face. Tends to play conservatively. Loves to eat, sometime can seem more interested in the food than the poker. Likely to chop. Runs it twice.

Dog - Not bothered by win/loss ratio. Knows how to read the table and his place in it, learns from mistakes. Will always show up if he says he will. Participates in, but never initiates, table conversation. Likes to chase draws.
Pig - Celebrates wins, bemoans losses (but can afford it). Is comfortable with his play, bad or good. Won't show up if he gets a better offer. Loves to tell stories. Doesn't like to chase. Might eat/drink everything in sight if not reined in.

I hope you enjoyed reading it! So, which Poker Zodiac Animal are you and why?
I’m a fish or a whale right @Godzilla28 ?
I’m a pig - and that’s pretty accurate- I will definitely eat the shit out of a spread - lol.

Create an account or login to comment

You must be a member in order to leave a comment

Create account

Create an account and join our community. It's easy!

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.

Top Bottom