Giveaway ***CLOSED***12 days of PCF - Bonus Day #13

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Sprouty

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Maybe @Josh Kifer does teabag every chip! That $5 pube!
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Racer96

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So I thought that I would read through this thread to try and get to know Kifer a little better no dig up some info for later blackmail usage no entertain myself for a bit. Turns out you all don't know a damned thing about Kifer.

Well, now you get to learn a little bit of history on this guy.

As a kid, Josh really liked destroying things. Anything. Crayons... eaten. Glue..... slurped. Rocks.... smashed. Toys.... shoved into orifices. Coins.... thrown at anyone passing by. We think that may have been one of the reasons why he wanted to get into the milling business. He developed a taste for leaded paint chips early on, and grinding out leaded clay powder plus getting paid for it, well, that was a no brainer.

It also meant that he started schooling early. No, not because he was really bright for his age. It was because it was the only way they could get state sanctioned people to try and monitor his behaviour.

I went to the same school as him. Well, I started at the school after he did, but we did share one year together in fifth grade. I think that was his 8th time in that grade. He finally graduated elementary school about 4 years after I got out of high school, but he did get through it. He definitely sees things through to completion.

Josh was never much into playing cards though. We had a local group that would like to hang out and play some penny ante poker. Deuces are wild and that kind of stuff. He didn't come out very often. The few times that he did, he wouldn't play. He'd just sit around waiting to look at all the playing cards. Turns out he has a bit of a fascination with cards. Just not actually playing with them.

It's nice that he's found a community to share with these days. One that is horrified by appreciates his particular skill set of destroying beautiful things.

In all honesty, I don't know Josh. I've only had a few interactions with him, one where we bid each other up on a set of chips. Ones where I keep asking to win one of his giveaways, and he took pity on me for my birthday and actually made me into a winner. Well. Kind of. Paging Barrie. One where I said I'd buy out the stock of his cards when I get back to Canada, so now I am struggling to find a way to stay in France. In all the interactions though, he's been a regular cool dude. Just the kind of guy that I think I would really enjoy sitting around a card table sharing stories, and eating his food. Seriously, that crack casserole sounded so good.

So yeah, I don't know him. I'd like to get to know him. I think he's one of the good guys out there. Even if especially because he can be a dick.
 

Zmasterben

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Please tell me the winner of this contest is NOT getting a Kifer chip? After everything we have uncovered him doing with those chips in this post?

If only you people knew that half of it.

There may or may not be a Russian pee tape that may or may not feature Josh and some milled Lakeshores that I may or may not be in possession of....
 

Saoliver

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So I thought that I would read through this thread to try and get to know Kifer a little better no dig up some info for later blackmail usage no entertain myself for a bit. Turns out you all don't know a damned thing about Kifer.

Well, now you get to learn a little bit of history on this guy.

As a kid, Josh really liked destroying things. Anything. Crayons... eaten. Glue..... slurped. Rocks.... smashed. Toys.... shoved into orifices. Coins.... thrown at anyone passing by. We think that may have been one of the reasons why he wanted to get into the milling business. He developed a taste for leaded paint chips early on, and grinding out leaded clay powder plus getting paid for it, well, that was a no brainer.

It also meant that he started schooling early. No, not because he was really bright for his age. It was because it was the only way they could get state sanctioned people to try and monitor his behaviour.

I went to the same school as him. Well, I started at the school after he did, but we did share one year together in fifth grade. I think that was his 8th time in that grade. He finally graduated elementary school about 4 years after I got out of high school, but he did get through it. He definitely sees things through to completion.

Josh was never much into playing cards though. We had a local group that would like to hang out and play some penny ante poker. Deuces are wild and that kind of stuff. He didn't come out very often. The few times that he did, he wouldn't play. He'd just sit around waiting to look at all the playing cards. Turns out he has a bit of a fascination with cards. Just not actually playing with them.

It's nice that he's found a community to share with these days. One that is horrified by appreciates his particular skill set of destroying beautiful things.

In all honesty, I don't know Josh. I've only had a few interactions with him, one where we bid each other up on a set of chips. Ones where I keep asking to win one of his giveaways, and he took pity on me for my birthday and actually made me into a winner. Well. Kind of. Paging Barrie. One where I said I'd buy out the stock of his cards when I get back to Canada, so now I am struggling to find a way to stay in France. In all the interactions though, he's been a regular cool dude. Just the kind of guy that I think I would really enjoy sitting around a card table sharing stories, and eating his food. Seriously, that crack casserole sounded so good.

So yeah, I don't know him. I'd like to get to know him. I think he's one of the good guys out there. Even if especially because he can be a dick.
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Saoliver

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Now I’ve got some things to say...

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Josh, you dumb son of a bitch—

Bringer of darkness,

Derailer of threads,

Crusher of dreams,

Murderer of beloved hot stamps,

Thanks for being a good sport and taking all of this. Though, I’m disappointed in the rest of you for being so easy on our resident troll. Seriously. Only @moose was brave enough to toe the line of a ban hammer.

Josh says he is chaos neutral. Really, he’s just an attention seeking whore, dropping turds in everyone’s threads for the up doots.

He’s that kid in school who always had to blurt out the answer...but always the wrong answer and at the wrong time.

I believe that I am the only chipper to have met Josh in person. Some of you may have seen him in video chat at the Windy City online tournament. For the rest of you: I can confirm that Josh is a bear. The Urban Dictionary definition.

And I appreciate you inviting me over twice to sit at the table with you to play cards with your crew. Those nits are easy money! Idahoans are as dumb as potatoes.

One day soon, I hope to return the favor and invite you this way for a poker weekend. Maybe share a bag of Dick’s. Oh wait...I did invite you over. And you canceled.

What does it feel like to know that everyone hates you, but loves your dog?

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In all seriousness, you are a good dude. And though many here may hate you, they would be thoroughly entertained given the chance to get to know you at a meet up.

It’s crazy how much shit we have in common. Scary crazy. Thanks for being a good friend. I appreciate that I can bounce my dumb ideas off of you (whether chip related or general life shit) and I know that I will get your honest opinion.

Thanks to all the rest of you for participating. Josh was having a rough week and I thought this thread might give him some good laughs.

And thanks to all the rest of you who ran giveaways. Shit like this makes this place fun “in these challenging times.” :banghead:

So let’s all raise a glass. Here’s to @Josh Kifer. And here’s to the hope that 2021 is the Yin to 2020’s Yang.

Happy Holidays, everyone.
 
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Dix

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Thanks to all the rest of you for participating. Josh was having a rough week and I thought this thread might give him some good laughs.
Even if that's the only end result, it's all good. Here's to ya Josh.

& if shitting on Josh makes him feel better... hell, I think we could do that more often. :D
 

Saoliver

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The random post chosen was #32.

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Sorry, @judgeanjury. Since it wasn’t your first post, it doesn’t count. But PM and I’ll send you a consolation prize. It won’t be a bag of Dick’s.

Post #33 was @Josh Kifer. Shit.

Post #34 was @FordPickup92. But not her first post. And Brie already won something. :p

Post #35 wins. @legend672, Congrats!
 

FordPickup92

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Josh declares that @FordPickup92 post humored him the most, so Brie wins the secondary prize. Congrats! You have to share with @Ben8257 since he has been begging for a Mirage dealer button.
Aww gee :oops: thanks guys!
The random post chosen was #32.

View attachment 597380

Sorry, @judgeanjury. Since it wasn’t your first post, it doesn’t count. But PM and I’ll send you a consolation prize. It won’t be a bag of Dick’s.

Post #33 was @Josh Kifer. Shit.

Post #34 was @FordPickup92. But not her first post. And Brie already won something. :p

Post #35 wins. @legend672, Congrats!
Congrats @legend672 ! I almost sniped it! Lol
 
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