- Hosts take a “my way or the highway” approach at their own risk.
This one is a lot more subjective, of course, but it surprises me that it is controversial.
In some threads that I’ve started or commented on, it seems like there are always a few people whose answer to every hosting question is “Just kick them out!” or “If they don’t like it, tough!” (Will try to dig up links later.)
Well, sure it’s my game (or your game) and I (or you) can host how I (you) want...
We get to invite who we want, making any ruling we want, kick people out on a hair-trigger, or disinvite people without any explanation to them or the group.
And yeah, sometimes situations demand that a host just put their foot down and say “like it or lump it.”
But some of us host games in small communities, with limited player pools, often with family, work, or other social connections among regs. Some of us have played together for years, or even decades.
So when issues arise, it isn't always as simple to just fire people into the sun: “He’s off the island, I don’t want hear any questions, next man up!” In a small community and/or tight-knit group, replacing a reg isn’t always so easy and automatic. Maintaining, repairing or severing relationships can be complicated. Explaining what happened to the rest of the group is necessary when a familiar face disappears, or is put in a timeout, or whatever the host decides. They are going to have questions and deserve answers, at minimum so the host’s expectations are understood.
I’ve had one situation where I did simply ghost a pair of guys who we had all played with for a long time, not just in my game but in others in the area (including one they jointly hosted). This was after they had had multiple warnings about several different issues, with one of them having been banned for a couple of years before he managed to beg back into the game. By the time I finally axed them for good, it wasn’t worth even debating with them; we’d already been over everything a billion times before. They likewise did not really try to get an explanation or a reversal, because they knew full well why without admitting it... More importantly I did most certainly tell the remaining group that the problem pair would not be back, and why, so they would know it was not some arbitrary thing.
If a host wants to just make a harsh, sudden decision, that’s obviously their “right.” It’s also the host’s right to play in a Frankenstein costume, sing along loudly and off key with every song on the playlist, wear heavy cologne, or not wear pants. But don’t be so surprised when people wonder WTF is going on or stop coming to the game.
Again, I don’t know why any of that should even need be said, except that it seems to rub some posters with more dictatorial instincts the wrong way. It does get a little tiring when things are instantly reduced to “my way or the highway,” ignoring all practical and human considerations.