Quitting Engineering: ISO of someone I can get advice for low cost (less than $70/h) (1 Viewer)

greenchip

greenchip

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Hi PCF community,

I am looking for someone I can talk to about quitting the Engineering field or have experience switching fields at a low cost, ideally under $70/hour.

I graduated with BS in Mechanical Engineering from a very tough school where I had no time to make friends or have fun. Declined all invitations to bed times with ladies too as it was an obstruction to my academic work, which I took very seriously to the point I had a few suicidal attempts in college. Or else I dropped out for real.

I only studied, felt depressed, and gambled during college.

I went to a school where:
  • Going to lectures and taking notes, doing HW without cheating will get a C or less

  • Going to lectures, taking notes, doing HW without cheating, going to office hours, and hiring a tutor will get a B

  • Going to lectures, taking notes, using others’ notes, doing HW with yourself then getting answers from others, going to office hours always, and having a tutoring session every few days will maybe get an A.

But I got too stressed out, I needed to play slots every few days after finishing studying at 3 AM then head to class at 9 AM because I had no fun. My best friend was a slot machine back then. Lost nearly $25K in 2 years (2019-2020, not now) as I killed all of the savings accounts I accumulated during my teenage years and before. I was stressed out to the point I couldn’t control my gambling.

It was too late to switch my major when my Engineering passion died out.

My passions died out during college and hated my very first entry-level job, which I stuck with until they lay off me. Then I realized I was very happy losing the job because I hated and hated what I’d been doing since college.

But now, I don’t have experience in other fields, so it is very hard for me to find a new job.

Also, part-time jobs like Mcdonald's or grocery stores aren’t hiring me because I am not what they are looking for…

As I quit being an Engineer, I have to leave my parents’ house jobless. Again I never made “true friends” in college, so I don’t have anyone other than expensive career coaches I can talk about my future.

I sold some chips to talk with a career coach, and she really wants me to stay in the Engineering field… I want to hear from someone who can potentially share ideas with me what it will be like working in a different industry. But I see I will be mentally ill or end up dead if I continue it. I had suicide attempts because of how much I hated Engineering in my junior and senior years in college, and I am still getting treated for the same root causes of tragedic events. I am depressed since then and feel the same even now.

Oh and I never had someone I can take grad pics, that’s how much I didn’t make friends in college being super busy. So jealous of those who have pics with friends. Didn't want to take pics just my self, no friends.

Lastly, I have zero passion in Engineering and expect that it will be like that for a while. I liked trains and technical gadgets, but not they are such headaches to me that I don’t even want to talk off-duty.

What I struggle the MOST in my life is managing multiple things in once:
  • When in Vegas, I can only think about gambling and cannot look at attractions/food/women.
  • When in school, I can only think about studying (except easy A classes which never existed) and cannot think about making friends/fun activities.
  • I can’t focus on the table game and grab chips. I always lose if I do both.
  • I potentially can’t balance work and family in the future, based on seeing what others are expected to do there
  • Finding friends at school/work, because I have to focus on schoolwork/work and take seriously or else I fail. I forget to make friends by focusing too much, seriously.
  • Engineering expects a lot of this, need to be an expert of many things which really overwells me.

What if I try to think or manage a few things at once:
  • Everything fails and I regret not focusing on one item. If it’s studying and partying, I will get bad grades and don’t end up making friends/enjoying at parties.
  • Things get partial and incomplete. I’d rather have one 100% finished task vs two 50% half finished task. People become angry the latter, so I always try to have one 100% finished task than two incomplete ones.
  • Tasks get merged and end up in chaos that the finished tasks are useless (because of how much I end up being off-track)
  • End result is much slower than individually working on tasks like one, two, and three.
My college degree is worth a nickel and a dime to me.

My best moment in college (not fun sports events with friends, again I had no friends):

IMG_6637.JPG
 
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As a Mech-Engineering dropout (fuck calc 3!) I can identify with the losing passion for engineering - which makes success exponentially more difficult. Assuming you went somewhere like Cal-Tech? sounds insanely rigorous and joy-robbing if you were left no time for socializing and building a support network of people around you.

I'm assuming given your past that you have experience in therapy and/or are still in therapy? I've dealt with both depression and anxiety through therapy and medication, and it's literally life-changing. Would recommend maybe finding a new therapist or psychiatrist, as it sounds like a lot of this stems from mental health that may or may not be being addressed as well as it could.

Community and friends are definitely massively helpful to keeping me in a good headspace - if you don't have non-gambling hobbies, I've found that's the easiest way to build community. Honestly even the virtual friends on PCF are a friendly and supportive community despite all of our pettiness haha.

That said - I don't have any experience to offer from a career-coach perspective, frankly I could probably use one. I don't recommend sales if you're prone to depression or anxiety, it can be soul-crushingly frustrating haha.
 
Okay my friend. You've bounced around a lot on here, and it sounds like you have assigned way too much value to chips and gambling, to point where it became a replacement for social life/friends/other hobbies. We joke about being addicted and it makes me uncomfortable because when something is missing in your life, purchases and collections can fill gaps in unhealthy ways. Im not attacking you, just wondering how compulsory it is.

On quitting engineering, your job coach is probably right: that's lots of earning power youre giving up. Passion or not, you've obviously got some type of aptitude for it. Engineering is a huge umbrella term and an undergrad in it can open lots of doors, what about your job did you hate so much? Many engineers hate their classes and school but have a much better time working.

Sounds like there was lots of engineering pressure on you. I hope you become comfortable saying you don't know, it's very freeing and allows me to study harder.
 
BamaT8ter said:
Have you thought about trying a job working for a company like Scientific Games—engineering slot machines? Maybe wedding those two aspects of your life might balance them out. Just a thought.
Click to expand...
This is actually a great idea for combining engineering with something you're interested in - I do have some contacts at IGT (slot machine company), and iirc @JWC did/does work there as well. Hit me up if you want any contacts.
 
Wow, sorry to hear that you hate what you are doing and coping with other things that are not making you happy or are destructive. While you might not like one aspect of engineering, is there something you do like about it? Sometimes we fall into something related to our field that is not exactly what we went to college for. I have a degree in Finance, but I work on retirement plans, not exactly my life plan, but I found out I am good at it. So don't discount what you know, see if you can meld it into something related. Maybe it is bridges, maybe crash testing, maybe teaching. I have not had to look for a job in decades, so I have no suggestions who could help, maybe a career coach or recruiter? Wishing you the best, Shungo, hope you find your path. I'll be in Vegas end of October if you want to hang out for a few days.
 
BamaT8ter said:
Have you thought about trying a job working for a company like Scientific Games—engineering slot machines? Maybe wedding those two aspects of your life might balance them out. Just a thought.
Click to expand...
Or GPI…bet they need some mechanical engineers for all that mechanical chip making stuff.
 
EdX, take some coding courses, take some courses on things you are passionate about. Redirect the energy towards something you seem good at, which is learning. Pick up a new skill and move forward in a career that excites you.

Most of us still don’t know what we want to do in our thirties, maybe even forties and fifties. It’s never too late.
 
I got my degree in Mathematics. I played poker full time for a couple years online after finishing college in 2005. I ended up tutoring, then working in contact security for 10 years. At 41, my friend's small insurance agency got bought out by a sightly larger one. After the merger, they were short staffed coming off of COVID and my friend (whom I met here on PCF) joking asked me if I'd like to be his bitch at the new agency as they needed help and couldn't find people. I jumped ship and went for it. Best thing I ever did.

I had no direct insurance knowledge. I took and passed two actually exams. But those have very little to do with actual insurance. I found it very easy to learn though, and a little over a year in and I've moved up from basic processing work to smaller account management for mid-high 5 figures.

I did get lucky to work for a smaller independent agency. Much better than the big places from what I hear.

Bottom line... A lot of industries still need people. And are not than willing to hire people with little to no experience. Insurance is a good industry if you don't mind a not customer service oriented job. It's a relationship business. But depending on the type of accounts you work, you don't have to do excessive amounts of talking to clients or underwriters except over email.

Is recommend looking into it at least.
 
Lots of engineering folks in finance. Skills can translate. Not the easiest time to get a job in finance. You were skilled, and engineering came easy to you? If it’s not a good fit could be a struggle just being honest. Even if not great fit if you worked your ass off in college you’ll have learned some behaviors, resourcefulness, etc and that should help in corporate finance setting.

Other options, trades. Plumber. Electrician. Welder. Etc
 
Something you might pursue are jobs that interface with engineering, but don’t require the stress of the technical details. You probably know all the technical terms and processes, lots of time organizations like IT value someone with that skill set as you can bridge the gap between what the engineers really mean and what the IT group is hearing.
I’m a Chemical Engineer but I spent the last five years of my career in IT, managing projects that needed that translation. Other groups, like HR or Finance might also be candidates.

Have you applied to any petroleum companies? They are always looking for engineers, and I know you said that might not be your cup of tea, the pay and benefits are unbelievable and most of the time they have set processes and procedures so a lot of the “on the spot decision” stress simply isn’t there.

Research might be another avenue. I did 24 years as a research scientist and the crazy thing about it is they expect most of your work to “not work” so there’s no pressure if it doesn’t go as it should. An occasional breakthrough will make your career though, lol.

But you have to lose the negative energy. Very few people in life are “privileged”, most are in the same boat as you for a variety of various reasons. Maybe it’s background, maybe it’s race, maybe it’s learning aptitude, maybe it’s a bad hiring day, maybe it’s body odor, who knows, I’m just saying everybody has adversity to overcome.

I’d be more than happy to talk via pm more about this. I started working for an oil company delivering mail and making phone books, and ended up a Research Scientist. Attitude and patience will get you further than you think.
 
I went through some counseling around the ages of 18-22, didn’t go the college route, and didn’t get a firm direction in life until I was 24. However focusing on my physical/mental health and depression, not trying to keep up with my friends, in my early 20s really gave me a strong foundation moving forward. Neglecting your mental health will have compounding effects over time - especially if you acquire a coping mechanism that is destructive.

Just my opinion but you seem to over idolize/emphasize the effects of friends. It’s nice not being alone, and you need quality meaningful relationships, but it’s a delicate balance not expecting people to fulfill something missing.
 
You could look into Sales Engineer jobs. Large companies take people with field experience to basically do demos as part of the pre-sales process. You can answer technical type questions to help prospective clients really understand how your company's solutions can benefit them.
 
If what I read is right, you really shouldn’t be buying any chips at all once you lost your main income unless you are buying them to flip for more money.

That’s a reason why we get paid for working because it’s a hustle to work for most people.

Also, don't talk to stranger from the internet about such things. Talk to your family, your co-worker, your friends & even your Neighbour about these
 
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It sounds like you have some serious mental health issues (depression, gambling addiction, social anxiety, attention deficit, etc.). There's still alot of stigma associated with mental health. But it's a serious component of overall health. Get help soon.

Switching careers is not going to fix anything. Collecting poker chips is not going to solve the problem. None of these things are the root of the problem. You need to address your underlying health issues.

I think for alot of the younger generation, social media is poison for their minds. They scroll thru Tiktok, Instagram, etc. and see how much better everyone else's life is. Endless friends, fun, and travel. You're consumed with FOMO. What you're seeing is complete fiction. People aren't having endless amounts of sex and fun. Life can be a grind.

Please seek professional help.
 
Delete social media ✅

Focus on a job in general, because it sounds like you’re gonna need funds to keep the lights on ✅

Start meditating. I’m serious. Stop, control yourself, and find a peace in you - you need it - go for a walk, get sunshine, eat healthy ✅

Fuck college, your engineering path, et cetera…. Find what makes me you happy, follow that. Because it sounds like you need that more than anything ✅
 
Yes, I work for a gaming company as an engineer, and have for many, many years (Just hung up the phone with a close friend who started shortly before I did to wish him a happy 30th anniversary). Yes, I have many contacts across the industry, and can point you in the right direction should you pursue that.

In addition to work, I am deeply involved in my faith. I spend many hours a week serving those in my church and community, both directly and indirectly. Most of my friends from church don‘t understand my involvement in the gaming industry. That being said:
- Yes, there is a need for skilled engineers in my industry
- However, I would not want to place someone struggling with gambling addiction in the hornets nest
- I am open to having some phone conversations with @greenchip to listen and counsel, as I take his statements above at face value as sincere expressions of grief and concern. If you are interested, PM me.

At a high level, we need to find balance in life. Too much extreme in any direction is a path to unhappiness. I have met @greenchip in person, and he was a pleasure to talk with. Very humble and sincere, and hope that we can all provide him the support that he needs.
 
I split my time working as a music producer and as a part time business coach after selling my last company. One thing that is helpful for me in my personal life, and for many of the entrepreneurs and leadership teams I work with in business - an exercise where we imagine what we want the business (or my personal life) to look like in 3 years from now. It helps me to describe it in bullet points, and specific. There might be some bullets about relationships with family and friends, some about investment goals, some about the kind of work projects I want to be working on, or maybe how much time I'm spending on different activities or priorities. Once I can really picture it, I work backwards and think about the things I need to do in the next year to make that 3 year picture a reality. Then even further back - what do I need to do this quarter to make progress? And I can even tie it back to "what can I do TODAY to make even a little tiny progress toward my 3 year picture?"

You got this bro!
 
just suffer through the engineering part of the field for your early career, then eventually slide into project management, where everyone else does the engineering for you.
 
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@kmccormick100 Yeah I saw so many people quit Engineering majors because of how tough the maths were. I went to a very challenging school, but not Cal Tech. The good news is I was very passionate about Engineering back then and I survived the weed-out classes.

The problem started when I actually started taking MechE classes. I started to feel my academic and emotional capacity wasn't enough to the point I couldn't handle the stress, then randomly started taking buses at night to the casino. Maybe I skipped a few classes if I fell asleep, and yes I had a pretty bad problem back then...

I am getting help with my mindset and feeling down, but still haven't found out why I can only focus on one thing in my life. Resulting in not making friends, not having fun, and living unhealthy on my own... I am still struggling to get out of that cycle,

@NotRealNameNoSir
Yes, I agree Engineering is a broad field. However, it's been such a challenge to find what I am passionate about in Engineering. Still, I struggle finding what I love to do.

I am a big fan of playing slots (and how got into casino stuff), so I always wanted to learn how it works. Then, I had a healthcare internship with Python coding responsibilities, so I wrote a simple slot machine in my free time (nothing fancy though)! Yeah, that's literally the only thing in the Engineering field I did from my "own will" which I really lack. I will definitely look into what kinds of jobs are out there in the slot machines/gaming industry.

But I lost the calculation sheet that did the math before calculating RTP! If I remember it was like 80% tight slot machine with bunch of near misses, good news I have the code.

How it plays:
slot.png


It's actually the opposite, I spent too much focus to the point I didn't end up making friends in college. I was surviving the classes while avoiding cheating (since that's not my style), then got too stressed out to the point I had a strong urge to play slots. I didn't collect chips back then, so all I spent were gone. Not like I can sell chips and get my money back, so the habit was very toxic for my financial well-being. I regretted my actions, so right now I am doing my best to control my urges to gamble (daily life or at PCF is ok, but problematic if I visit Vegas). I quit harvesting in Vegas for my own good since I am losing too much harvesting to the point, I may become financially irresponsible. I quickly lost a lot, so I made an "emergency stop" on harvesting on Day 1 of my last Vegas visit in June, so I asked others to harvest for me

Yeah, I wanted friends, so I helped so many people cheat. I had a good amount of "temporary" friends and I failed to keep them as friends... I started to recap back then in elementary school (12-17 years ago) when friendships weren't about benefits and we still talk even now... Now I feel that here and feel grateful about it.

I will read more meaningful posts from others later. My mind is all mixed up, so kind of slow lately...
 
Also read all, figured I’ll be spamming here so I’ll respond via PM. Thanks everyone for the input. I’ll definitely be exciting giving a shot on slot machine or gaming related engineering jobs before deciding on leaving.

Couldn’t decide on my own with my family and friends, so honest opinions are very valuable to me. Sometimes family and friends miss out on things I’d like to know being close. Really appreciate the people here. I’m learning a lot about life from here more than at work.

Big thing learned from this thread: Learned my gambling addiction transitioned to chipping shopaholic… I’ll get professional help on that and PM me if anyone know if any therapist specializes on gambling and shopaholic problems. I’m not quitting, but I need to slow down. I know with a discipline, I can make things better.

My excuse until now was I’m not losing money being chipping shopaholic (unless I sell things at a loss) and chips don’t depreciate just like coins and unlike cars, so I’m not problematic on gambling… I’ll continue with pending transactions as I made commitments but again slowing down.
 
greenchip said:
Also read all, figured I’ll be spamming here so I’ll respond via PM. Thanks everyone for the input. I’ll definitely be exciting giving a shot on slot machine or gaming related engineering jobs before deciding on leaving.

Couldn’t decide on my own with my family and friends, so honest opinions are very valuable to me. Sometimes family and friends miss out on things I’d like to know being close. Really appreciate the people here. I’m learning a lot about life from here more than at work.

Big thing learned from this thread: Learned my gambling addiction transitioned to chipping shopaholic… I’ll get professional help on that and PM me if anyone know if any therapist specializes on gambling and shopaholic problems. I’m not quitting, but I need to slow down. I know with a discipline, I can make things better.

My excuse until now was I’m not losing money being chipping shopaholic (unless I sell things at a loss) and chips don’t depreciate just like coins and unlike cars, so I’m not problematic on gambling… I’ll continue with pending transactions as I made commitments but again slowing down.
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Much love. You're young and your health & wellbeing trumps all of this; take your time and figure out whats best. Addictions are powerful compulsions, its completely normal to seek help when you feel you need to.
 
GC,

I agree with all the posts above regarding making sure that YOU are in a good place - mentally, physically, and emotionally! One step at a time, one day at a time - you can make it!

PM'ed you...
 
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LowerBama1714 said:
Do you exercise?

It’s good for stress and anxiety.

You might meet people at the gym…and pull in some strange.
Click to expand...
I went to a gym in a college town for a year and at no point in my entire time there did I even get close to getting laid from it. Only time a girl even commented was because I was slightly stoned and was spaced out staring at her tattoo on her arm. I guess her boyfriend told my buddy that I was staring at his girl and if I did again he’d beat me up. I just laughed and told my friend that I wasn’t gonna waste time looking at an ugly girl when I could just look left and see a hot one. Was just stoned and spaced out. We both agreed that he should’ve told the boyfriend that he was mistaken and I was actually just checking him out. Moral of the story is not to go to the gym so high that you don’t realize you’ve stared at someone’s arm for 5 minutes like a freak.
 

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