Poker Quotes (favorites, obscure, randoms, etc.)

10centguitar

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Not sure where else to put this. Thought I might hear some from others I have never heard.


Please share any poker related quotes you like. It could be from a well known poker player, or about the game. You get the idea.


Here is a couple.

"He is tighter than a nun's gadget..." - Amarillo Slim, on a conservative player.

"Hunches are for dog's making love" - Amarillo Slim

"Poker is the art of civilized bushwhacking." - Nick 'The Greek' Dandalos
 

BGinGA

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Funniest one I think I've ever heard was attributed to guinness at one the MA/NH games:

"Well, it isn't going to pot itself."
 

Thisfiendis138

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Everyone knows this but it still makes me giggle!

"Guy can't even spell poker"
Then
"Can't believe this is the World Series of Poker"
Phil Hellmuth
"Yea, go figure"
Jim Pittman
He said guy can't even spell poker and just destroyed him on TV and dude comes back with "yea go figure" sooo weak
Of course Phil is a brat and was totally out of line and I'm not endorsing his antics but man that was funny!
 

jbutler

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"Take your f*cking flush and go f*ck yourself you f*cking c*cksucking piece of sh*t." (while throwing cards into the muck as hard as possible and running out of the room) Roy at my home game.
 

courage

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"You've got the nuts for now, bitches!"
- drunk me at my home game betting $122 with my nut flush draw in Crazy Pineapple after the river had been dealt but before showdown into two nits with the stone cold nuts.

"If I had what I thought I had, you'd be fucking killed."
- Brian at my home game, at showdown after misreading his hand.
 

10centguitar

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nice lol.

I called out "Chips!!" to the floor lady as I raised the last of my stack with the nuts to a 3-bet. I slow rolled em, then as Im pulling in the pot the floor lady shows up,
the guy, all pissed off was like you called for chips!...

I was like yeah they were for you!
 

10centguitar

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nice lol.

I called out "Chips!!" to the floor lady as I raised the last of my stack with the nuts to a 3-bet. I slow rolled em, then as Im pulling in the pot the floor lady shows up,
the guy, all pissed off was like "and you called for chips!" .......

I was like yeah they were for you!


more of a funny story lol
 

ChipEnvy

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It's in my signature... seems appropriate for this hobby.

"The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip was a genius." ~Julius "Big Julie" Weintraub
 

Mr. Cheese

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Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.


He beat me... Straight up... Pay him... Pay that man his money.
 

10centguitar

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"I can spot a gnat's keister at 100 yards, and can hear a mouse piss on cotton" Amarillo Slim
 

Chicken Rob

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Mrs. Bergman, don't you think it's a little late to be calling? It's after 10.

Jose Rios to bergs mom, on the phone, at a NH/MA chiptalk game that is known for running until 4 or sometimes as late as 6 or 7.
 

chipjoker

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"Suck IT" Me at Shaggy's game after I throw down my cards to show a Straight Flush. All in with two others, I was the last to show......

BTW, I was on my 3rd buy-in and it was more to the Shaggy (not in the hand) as it is something we say around the office...No one and no animals were hurt during this event....
 

10centguitar

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at showdown:

villian: whatcha got?

me: 2 pair

villian: no good, flips nut flush, tries to rake in pot

me: look sad and then flip over quads
 

Puggy

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"I'll play any man from any land in any game he can name for any amount he can count. Provided I like it", said ......
 
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10centguitar

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"Superstition is so destructive to poker profit that I believe the costliest thing a player can bring to the table is a good-luck charm."

-Doyle Brunson
"Look, I'll play you in any game you name, for any amount you can count."

Tony Guoga to Phil Hellmuth in The Big Game.

Taken originally from Puggy Pearson's RV, the "Roving Gambler". It had this painted on the side: "I'll play any man from any land any game he can name for any amount he can count, provided I like it."
 
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10centguitar

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"Poker s a game of people. If you remember that, you can bounce your opponents around like tumbleweeds in Texas. If you forget, Lord have mercy on your bankroll."

-Doyle Brunson
 

Ben

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Calling station calls raise with 32o, flops 2 pair. Gets it in (short stacks) against KK - shockingly, threes and deuces gets counterfeited. Station starts whining, another player busts out with:

"Oh man, you got your deuce-three offsuit cracked? By pocket kings? Ain't that a BITCH???"
 

pokerplayingpisces

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"The strong point in poker is never lose your temper, either with those you are playing with or, more particularly, with the cards. There is no sympathy in poker. Always keep cool. If you lose your head, you will lose all your chips."

William J Florence (The Gentleman's Handbook in Poker)
 

BPTDirector

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I have a whole 3 table set of seating cards at home with poker sayings on them. I'll post some later after work.

One I remember at this time is:

'You want sympathy? You'll find it between shit and syphillis in the dictionary '

Robert DuVall - in a movie I'll have to remember later. It's on the tip of my tongue...

'If it wasn't for luck I'd win all of them'

Phil Helmuth
 
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