Poker nights should be more fun: A rant (1 Viewer)

[Mr Tree]

I’ll just drop this right here. If you love this game having a well trained group of dependable regulars is your single most valuable poker accessory.

 

[upNdown]

I played in a game for about 2 years that was just terrible. Not as bad as the OP, but bad. Dice chips, terrible table toppers in public restaurants... just bad games with otherwise great people.

So I poached the best of the best from that game, including the host, and that game collapsed.

3 years later, the host held her own game again this past weekend. 3 years playing with my CPC, mint Paulson THC, and other good to great chips. Padded poker tables, Copag, KEM, Bicycle Prestige, and Desjgn cards. 3 years, and this is what we got.
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How do people not notice a difference?

Pretty sure I'd just rather not play.

 

[DrStrange]

Just call me a "poker slut". If there is a game, I'll normally play. How bad is it? Consider these stories:

I was scoutmaster for a decade. We could carry a deck of cards, but packing in set of chips seemed excessive. So we played with rocks and/or sticks. The rules went like this - - you collected 20 rocks and got in line. When someone went bust, they left and you sat in. About six of us could "fit" in a two man tent. Once you busted, you could collect more rocks and get back in line. At the end of the night, we tossed the rocks and left them for the next troop who came by.

I play occasionally with a Wednesday night group. Dice chips, folding banquet tables with big crack in the middle, Design cards (provided by me) is the set up. No stakes, no buy-in. If you run short of chips someone passes over some of theirs or a new fistful of chips comes out of the case. No winners, no losers.

I have no standards. I'd rather play fake poker than watch TV, surf the internet or read a book.

Even if they are worse than dice chips -=- DrStrange

 

[Mr Tree]

Just call me a "poker slut". If there is a game, I'll normally play. How bad is it? Consider these stories:

I was scoutmaster for a decade. We could carry a deck of cards, but packing in set of chips seemed excessive. So we played with rocks and/or sticks. The rules went like this - - you collected 20 rocks and got in line. When someone went bust, they left and you sat in. About six of us could "fit" in a two man tent. Once you busted, you could collect more rocks and get back in line. At the end of the night, we tossed the rocks and left them for the next troop who came by.

I play occasionally with a Wednesday night group. Dice chips, folding banquet tables with big crack in the middle, Design cards (provided by me) is the set up. No stakes, no buy-in. If you run short of chips someone passes over some of theirs or a new fistful of chips comes out of the case. No winners, no losers.

I have no standards. I'd rather play fake poker than watch TV, surf the internet or read a book.

Even if they are worse than dice chips -=- DrStrange

Slut

 

[pltrgyst]

.... I'd rather play fake poker than ... read a book....

OK, now that's going too far.

 

[upNdown]

No stakes, no buy-in. If you run short of chips someone passes over some of theirs or a new fistful of chips comes out of the case. No winners, no losers.

I appreciate your passion, but I can't wrap my head around that one. If there's nothing at stake, what motivates somebody to bluff or call or fold?

 

[Poker Zombie]

Free poker just hurts - unless it's against scouts, because that is totally different. Kids that don't "earn" their money and don't "need" money aren't going to play differently than they would any other game. They play to win. Rocks, pretzels, or cash are all the same to them, except the dumb fat kid won't eat the cash.

 

[Beakertwang]

I appreciate your passion, but I can't wrap my head around that one. If there's nothing at stake, what motivates somebody to bluff or call or fold?

I often wonder what motivates some of our players to play the way they do with actual money is on the line.

 

[dkersey]

I was scoutmaster for a decade. We could carry a deck of cards, but packing in set of chips seemed excessive. So we played with rocks and/or sticks. The rules went like this - - you collected 20 rocks and got in line. When someone went bust, they left and you sat in. About six of us could "fit" in a two man tent. Once you busted, you could collect more rocks and get back in line. At the end of the night, we tossed the rocks and left them for the next troop who came by.

Being in Scouts myself, and my son went through the entire program, as well as doing the Philmont and Seabase thing, I love this. Why didn't I think of this when we were on those long weekend campouts where I was bored out of my skull just hanging out. I like everything about this except "the 6 guys in a 2 man tent" part. That part is unstable. You couldn't find a bigger tent or find a flat surface outside?

 

[WedgeRock]

We're going camping next month... Might do the rock thing with my boys.

 

[Taghkanic]

Were some rocks more valuable than others? Did some people specialize in collecting especially nice rocks? Would people say, “Check out this rock, this is the TRK of rocks.” Or, “He cut his teeth playing at the Mayfair Cave”?

 

[Beakertwang]

Were some rocks more valuable than others? Did some people specialize in collecting especially nice rocks? Would people say, “Check out this rock, this is the TRK of rocks.” Or, “He cut his teeth playing at the Mayfair Cave”?

One particularly enterprising scout found some heavy clay soil, and formed it into discs. Little Timmy Paulson was laughed right out of the tent. "We play with rocks, here, Timmy! We painted dice on them so you know they're casino quality!"

Later, Chad Brybelly made a lower quality mud chip, but hid nickels inside them. All the scouts were impressed with the heavy weight, and nice metallic sound of the Brybelly chips. They were an instant hit!

 

[TheOctagon]

Ugh. I dislike "poker" nights like this ... if you want to call it a social night, let's get together, eat, drink, laugh, BS... sounds great, I'm there. But don't call it poker, because it's just not. Poker has rules. If the game you're playing doesn't use those rules, then it's not poker.

It'd be like playing "tennis" with 6 people on the court, everyone has 2 rackets and their own ball, and the lines don't mean anything. If the ball goes over the net you get 2 points. If the ball hits the net and drops you lose a point, but if the ball hits the net and still goes over you get 3 points. First to 61 points wins! Fun, right? Sure, maybe, and you're using tennis rackets and tennis balls on a tennis court.... but that sure as hell isn't tennis.

Warm up before a Zombie game perhaps, call it Zombieball?

This is obviously the opening phase of a rousing match of Calvinball.

 

[Highli99]

I had good chuckles reading this thread. My warning flags go up anytime someone invites me to their ”poker party”. I only go if I'm in the right state of mind. Most of the time I politely decline.

 

[TheOctagon]

I host what's now become a semi-annual poker night - it tends to be a nice, full crowd of good friends who are mixed between long-time players and complete amateurs. The thing is everybody knows the rules, everybody respects the rules, and experienced people help out the less experienced people. It's a smooth ride - we've had the odd weird situation with a showdown or a sidepot payout, we had a couple of tense moments where there was confusion over a call or a folded hand, but they always get resolved and the game goes on unimpeded. Last time, I ran a two table tournament and the busted out folks went back to the second table to play mixed micro cash games. They're badugi freaks. No explanation needed .

In any case - ON TOPIC - the first one of these I put together some 3 years ago now, I had a fresh face who knew the game, but had no idea about etiquette. I think he thought he was a hotshot in some movie or on TV because he was string betting with the cliché "I see your X, and I raise you Y" - okay, guy, you gotta call raise or fold in one verbal action or motion. Then, he'd do ridiculous stuff which he thought was "bluffing" like, "I'm alllll ... checking" That was met with an experienced guy to his right pretty swiftly and sternly reminding him that you're either checking or betting. Verbal chicanery is not a bluff. Bluff with your bets.

He eventually got so drunk he jammed with rags in EP, fell out of his chair [edit: spilled his beer on my chips, cards, and table - thankfully I had out my silly Nexgen set and Copag plastics], and his wife had to take him home. It was amazing. Anyway, he's never been back .

 

[Beakertwang]

Verbal Chicanery would be a good name for a band!

 

[Highli99]

Whenever I'm at a new game I always ask if verbal check raises are binding.

 

[Beakertwang]

@toynoob @CraigT78 @Chris La Mantia

 

[Beakertwang]

@Burke

 

[TheOctagon]

You revived this thread and I had to relive your horrifying game from July. I almost got out my table and set up a full tournament spread just so I could flip it I got so steamed up again.

 

[Beakertwang]

You revived this thread and I had to relive your horrifying game from July. I almost got out my table and set up a full tournament spread just so I could flip it I got so steamed up again.

We were chatting about trying to get a home game running while playing in the P* tourney last night, and I asked if they had read this. They hadn’t.

Sorry to get your blood pressure up, @bentax1978!

 

[bentax1978]

We were chatting about trying to get a home game running while playing in then P* tourney last night, and I asked if they had read this. They hadn’t.

I actually spend a couple minutes last night trying to figure out how I might have tilted you.

 

[ReallyGoodUsername]

Wow sorry this happened! Nothing more frustrating to me than playing with poker tourists who don’t think rules and standards matter.

Not sure if you’ve seen The Office episode where they “play” the game Dallas but this sounds exactly like that.

And that, is Dallas.

 

[Jimulacrum]

This story is so damn bad. I've seen a million things that have tilted me at poker games over the years, but this one would be top of the list, no question.

HO deciding that your son doesn't get paid for 3rd, even though that's what everyone agreed to, is where I think I would leave. Scoop up the chips, cards, and table, and just bounce mid-game. Doesn't matter how little you know about poker, you know that promising someone money for a particular outcome and then refusing to pay is fraud. Theft. Call it what you want, but they crossed a big line, and it doesn't matter if it was for $5 or $500. After that, I wouldn't trust HO at all, at the table or elsewhere. That shit was outright sleazy.

At some point, you have to cut your losses, and in this case, taking all the equipment would make a great point and punish the offenders in one shot. I would never play anything with these assholes again.

 

[Jimulacrum]

She limps in and I am two seats to her left and raise pre flop. Goes around back to her and takes her chips back out of the pot and says " I didn't know you were going to raise so I'm taking my chips back."

I tell her she cannot do that. Gets all pissed off and still keeps the chips. So I let it go because she was a complete bitch about it.

I then get moved because another player gets knocked out. An hour or so passes and she was knocked out. She comes up to me and taps me on the shoulder and says hey can we talk. God dammit. I say well I'm still playing. She says just a minute. I agree.

She then bitches me out again and says this is her house and she can do whatever she wants. I say calm down but you cannot do what you did. I say you this is your house but those are poker tournament rules. I'm not here to argue with you. I'm still in and need to keep playing. I sat back down and she hasn't liked me ever since.

One more person I would explicitly avoid for the rest of my life. What kind of psychotic bitch acts like that? Doesn't matter whose house it is, you don't get to invite people for a game and then make up rules to favor yourself as you go—especially when it's for money. I'd hate to see how she behaves in "real life."

 

[Kyle]

One more person I would explicitly avoid for the rest of my life. What kind of psychotic bitch acts like that? Doesn't matter whose house it is, you don't get to invite people for a game and then make up rules to favor yourself as you go—especially when it's for money. I'd hate to see how she behaves in "real life."

In real life she is a left wing Resist loon. Another reason to not be around her.

 

[Jimulacrum]

In real life she is a left wing Resist loon. Another reason to not be around her.

Eh. I've found that someone's political affiliations don't necessarily mean anything about how they behave around people. I can list many reasons someone might end up joining this or that group or holding whatever political beliefs.

There's only one reason someone thinks she can pull back a bet in a poker game because it's her house, though, and that reason is that she's a raging bitch.

 

[PlaidDragon]

It was a bad night tonight.

She spent the night looking over the hand order list, taking a minute to call any bet.

Do a card draw for seating assignments, and HO refuses to move from his chair for some reason (I missed this part, as I was busy handing out chips).

I ask him how much he has, and he won't answer, so I suggest that the big chips should be out front. He and a new guy complain that it's a dumb rule, then he grabs a stack and puts 800 more in, and throws a fit when I tell him he can't do that. "You hadn't done anything yet, so I can change my bet."

Then he wants to keep the 500 chips that he was up over his original stack and keep playing. Was mad when I wouldn't let him.

Then when my son busts out in 3rd (AJ vs AA), and HO doesn't want to give him any money, because "he lost".

Turn 5, River 5, and he wins with 2 pair, and acts like he outplayed me. (OK, this is just poker. I got my money in way ahead. It sucks, but I'm never tilted when I make the right play and someone sucks out on me.)

Just on their turf, I should've known it would be an issue.

If they want to run their own game, that's fine.

Just read the OP for the first time. The phrase that comes to mind is: "absolute unparalleled nightmare".

I consider myself fortunate that I host most of our games. On the infrequent occasions we vet new players it's no more than 1 or 2 and in a more controlled environment.

 

[TheOctagon]

HO deciding that your son doesn't get paid for 3rd, even though that's what everyone agreed to, is where I think I would leave.

Depending on your group and threshold for brinksmanship, this might even be the part where someone gets their ass kicked given enough money on the line. I know there'd be some pushed back chairs and maybe some collar grabbing in my circle if someone tried this.

Double the insult is that he pulled it on your son. Your son. Like, the guy thought it was okay to tell the youngest person in the room that "hey, sometimes when you win you don't really win because I say so. Tough luck, kid." Not acceptable. That's capricious nonsense and has no place at a poker table, let alone a friendly gathering.

Leaving and never playing with them is the only answer to this mess. Sure, go to the BBQ or whatever. Don't trust them to handle any amount of money or be accountable for much other than breathing for the rest of your mutual lives.

 

[Daddy N]

Ugh. And this is why I micromanage the shit out of my game. I've been to games like this. I've been in your sons exact spot of paid spots getting changed on the fly and getting shafted. It's infuriating.

Some of my guys bust my onions at my micromanaging of our game. But they know I've literally lost sleep (I'm a nighttime thinker when going to bed, like many of us I'm sure) sometimes covering every last minute detail of a tourney and they bust my balls because they appreciate it.


I do it so that people like your son don't come to my game and feel they got the short end of the stick.

That's BS. Don't ever host with them again. Definitely put up a pdf with your rules and what you're going for. The ones that want to play will appreciate it.

Don't do any singling out in your post (obviously) but point out you're just trying to make a fair game for everyone.

This is how I run my games as well and sometimes someone will give me shit and I'll bring it back to the group and say "Should I loosen up on some rules?" and I get a resounding "No" and that usually shuts the complainer up.