Kids, iPhone, and my nerves ... (1 Viewer)

[ledge4131]

Well today, my eldest son broke his iPhone. As the story goes, he took it out of it's Otter Box case, showing it off to his friends and in the midst of taking a selfie, dropped the device and broke the screen. I consider his actions to be irresponsible; knowing that it was in and Otter Box Defender case, and I gave him explicit instructions not to remove it from the case.

We have Apple Care on his phone. However, I don't think that they will cover the repairs in this regard. Not that I mind, because I would like to cement into his thick 'X' or 'Y' or "Why?" generation skull, that a failure to listen, heed warnings, and use good judgement has consequences.

That being said, now I'm on TILT. I bust my ass for my kids. Sacrificing whatever I can in order to provide. This includes skipping lots of awesome group buys, fantastic eBay auctions, and lots of classified ads, in an attempt to keep my hobby within tolerable levels of the Mrs' and still be a good father to my kids. I sacrifice, like a father has too.

What chafes me the most is this... It seems that no matter how hard I try to be a good example, steward of compassion and godliness to my fellow neighbour, and be a provider, these kids of mine drive me to go all in for a $400 pot with 5-2 off in early position! Can I get a TILT-ARONI?!?!?!?!

Mind you, kids of today are no where near the same as to when I was growing up (70's to present). Their thought processes are off centre, no manners, a HUGE sense of entitlement, along with the other stuff that they have been accustomed to. I try and go against the grain and teach my boys to respect the elderly, hold doors open for people, shake someone's hand like they're a somebody, use manners like: "please", "thank you", "excuse me", and to be considerate of others. Yet, in spite of this I feel that all my effort is for naught and I'm the odd ball for doing so.

Now before it goes any further, Mother was the one that bought the phone. Much to my disagreement, "happy wife equals a happy life"; and maybe some "ching" every once and a while. But, I have to tell you...

"Kids, iPhone, and MY NERVES!!!"

Okay ... rant over now.

 

[manamongkids]

You know what helps to un-tilt me? Rolled up aces over kings, check raising stupid tour....

Nvm jk, buying chips of course!

 

[Jeff]

Here's what I did. Realizing that my wife and I have interest in my kids having a cell phone...safety and being able to contact them, but their interest is having a cool phone they can text, etc...I had the iPhone repaired... it is an expensive piece of equipment and an asset. I then went to Best Buy and bought a piece of shit AT&T burner phone and activated it. I gave it to my son and said if it's like new in two months, he gets the iPhone back.

 

[QuiQuog]

When my girl started asking for an iPod, I told her she could have one when she saved enough to to buy it. Eventually she did just that. Then she abused it until it no longer worked and I said "dang, that's too bad. You should save up for another one". Eventually she did just that, and she started treating it like she was responsible for it. Now that she's old enough that I want her to have a phone, but not old enough to pay her own bill, I'm less afraid that she'll mistreat it and I paid for it. I won!

Next up, the boy. Wish me luck, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

 

[Ronoh]

Quick note, and yes I realize his phone was out of it's case, but OtterBox is a thin flimsy death trap. For max protect go with the Griffin Survivor. Tad bit bulkier and heavier but you could throw that bitch in the ocean for a moment and then bury it in the sand for a while and your phone will be fine. I need a smaller phone that doesn't get in the way in a pocket while working so I still have my pre-Siri iPhone4(not even with an s) from years ago. Dropped it more times than I can count, covered in shit, sawdust, you name it and the phone still looks new when I take it out (probably on my 3rd Griffin).

 

[Strike1st]

Luckily my wife and I agree and our 13 yr old daughter had no phone. Or I would be in the same boat...she broke brand new glasses first day. ..wtf?!

Abs yes those griffin cases are bad ass tough.

 

[BGinGA]

bought a piece of shit AT&T burner phone and activated it. I gave it to my son and said if it's like new in two months, he gets the iPhone back.

Brilliant. :

 

[<°)))><)]

I might be optimistic, but I strongly believe that everything we teach to these little sponges called kids, even if they don't give an eff at the moment, will be put at good use sometime when circumstances arise. They don't care but they don't forget either

 

[Anthony Martino]

While I have no children nor plans for them, if I did my go-to in these spots would be to make them earn whatever new whiz-bang gadget it is that they want. They need to learn to appreciate what they work for, rather than take for granted things that are just given to them. I started working when I was 12 (paper route) and had to save to purchase my own gaming consoles, video games or whatever.

So whether it's them getting a job and saving to purchase their own cool gadgets, or them having certain chores around the house that earn them an allowance they can spend, that would be the direction I'd go. Then they realize it's squarely on them to provide for the luxuries they want in life and that big government (mom n' dad) aren't going to be there to just bail them out when they decide to be careless.

 

[detroitdad]

I am a father of three. Their now 19-26. Never had an issue with the 19 year old and his property. The two girls however were a different story.

I'm 46. I didn't get my first cell phone until I was 40. Wifey until 43. Yes safety, convenience, ect... are all bonuses for your kid having a cell phone. However imo, and only imo, cell phones aren't necessary for a kid of any age. The wife and I are on the same page with this.

It was simple. When my children could pay for their phones (actual phone and coverage) then they could have them. Not saying this is the right way. At the 13-20 age range the girls were irresponsible.

Neither of them got a cell phone until they were 16 and actually had jobs. When they did get a cell phone it was still also clear that they would lose the phone if their grades dropped (which they did for the oldest) or they couldn't maintain the payments, or if they fucked up (the younger daughter did).

Doing all this. They still broke their damn phones. Refusing to use cases, losing it, and not taking care of it. Then if they wanted a replacement, they have to have the funds.

The oldest one eventually learned. The now 21 year old daughter............well, she's getting there.

Once the son and oldest daughter started College (26 year didn't start until she was 24) I took over their coverage payments to help them out a little. I don't mind rewarding hard work. I still wouldn't pay for their phones. Their choice to buy a Galaxy 4 and Iphone 17. They can pay for it. I offered to buy them a 200 range phone, but that was unacceptable.

@ledge4131 my experience basically taught me that most teenagers are just stupid, lol. I don't mean this in a bad way (well, mostly), their brains just work differently. I couldn't stand my two daughters between 13-20 (middle one 13-18 ish). My wife kept saying, don't worry. They will get there. We stood our ground. Tried to teach them the right way to do things (and crossed our fingers). The oldest one definitely got there. She is awesome. Working hard, a good person. Doing what she can do to survive while working, school, clinicals, ect....

My other daughter is the one that just had the baby. She is doing as good as to be expected. She still has some growing up to do. Hopefully she does it sooner rather than later. I feel like she'll get there as well.

sorry for the ramble. Good Luck.

My oldest also had gotten a DUI at 18. Was thrown out of my house twice between 18 and 19. She is there now and I couldn't be more proud.

If you ever need to vent and don't want to post. Feel free to PM me. I had a buddy that I would reach out to just to vent. He would listen, comment if I requested it.

B

 

[brianb10]

Kids are gonna break things, lose things, and generally just make bad decisions. I've always been super careful with my stuff and always took good care of my things as a kid. It took a long time to realize that my daughter is probably not going to be like that and the more I tried to push her that way, the more reckless she became. Kids are different these days because the world is different. I have feeling that you get this and you were just looking to vent to someone other than to yell at your kid. Not a bad idea IMHO.

That said the hardest lesson I've had to learn with my daughter (almost 13) is that I have to let her make dumb decisions if I ever expect her to learn that it was a dumb decision and why. My ex and I disagree a little on this as she wants to just prevent the opportunity for a bad choice but this essentially amounts to being grounded and locked in the tower her whole childhood.

Let em make mistakes and see if they learn. Doesn't mean they're are not consequences for bad choices but as long as it's not a mistake that puts them in danger then use it all as teaching moments. It's when they don't learn that it gets frustrating and frankly I am still trying to figure out what to do in those cases. Truth is no one really knows all the right answers, you just do the best you can with the information you have. I feel like us parents today are really having to trailblaze when it comes to kids because the things that are difficult for parents today (internet, social media, phones and technology in general) are not something our parents had to deal with so you can't always reach out to them for advice. It really does take a village these days.

You sound like an awesome dad and everything will eventually turn out. If parenting was easy everyone would do it. Trust me it'll all be worth it when your kids come up to you one day and say thank you, I get now what you were doing all those years and I appreciate it.

 

[p5woody]

Good read, I never really thought about it but Poker and parenting have a lot of things in common. When you think about it "Truth is no one really knows all the right answers, you just do the best you can with the information you have".

You can do everything right and it can backfire. You can also do it wrong but hit your one-outer. Players/kids react differently and can be unpredictable. Some days it is easy other days it doesn't matter what you do it is wrong. etc. I could go on and on.

 

[k9dr]

I have been lucky with my kids - my wife is a wonderful mother. Yes they broke things - phones, cars, bikes, etc - but those are just things. They learned some difficult lessons along the way and have turned into responsible adults. My rules when they lived at home - keep your grades up, no drugs or alcohol, don't get pregnant, no tattoos or piercings and I will pay for college. So far I have graduated three and my last one just started.

 

[BiGGyT]

"Kids, iPhone, and MY NERVES!!!"

Okay ... rant over now.

I hear Bourbon helps this.