Fugly Poker Table Thread (41 Viewers)

[alwayson22]

Some real beauties in this thread. Or as my nana would call them, "Lots of character."

 

[Mushmanchuman]

Make shift table. 100% accurate

 

[Vinyard]

I have skinny arms! That arm rest is going to hurt!!!!!

For the love of God! Maybe the table is top side down…..

 

[Saditsfact]

 

[Poker Zombie]

I suspect if you drop one chip from your stack slightly over the line, you would put the host on tilt.

 

[EmptyPocs]

I have skinny arms! That arm rest is going to hurt!!!!!

think of it as a chin rest
(perfect for nearsighted hunchbacks)

 

[NickyT]

It is like a Magic Eye felt. Stare at it, relax your eyes and you'll actually see a runner runner flush cracking pocket Aces.

 

[BleedingChips]

What a gem.

 

[Mushmanchuman]

What a gem.

Move over Epoxy!! There’s a new surface material taking over the fugly table world.

It’s pant.

And this is how I read homeboys description:

Can be clean. Used a couple of times. Mostly in Saturday barn game. For awhile it had scuff marks and pant on top. Willing to barter.

 

[BleedingChips]

View attachment 1676772

Move over Epoxy!! There’s a new surface material taking over the fugly table world.

It’s pant.

And this is how I read homeboys description:

Can be clean. Used a couple of times. Mostly in Saturday barn game. For awhile it had scuff marks and pant on top. Willing to barter.

I also just noticed the title of listing says “poker table” - what kind of operation is this brochacho running?!

 

[GreatWhiteDope]

View attachment 1674368

I have so many questions about this table.

1. What is that topper made of? Jelly? Plastic? Congealed afterbirth?
2. It is an 8 sided table for 8 people (including the dealer) but apparently you are only allowed to occupy 60% of your side?
3. Is there an actual penalty if your hands or chips venture outside said line?
4. Was the top originally white and just became this color when players had fingers spontaneously amputated for venturing outside the lines?
5. Did he choose the topper color just so it would be uglier than the color of the table it is on? FYI, the table color is still uglier.
6. Why does it say "poker players" in the center? Does the other side say "Canasta Players" for when Grandma and Grandpa come over for game night?
7. Did the designer of the topper potty train his children at gun point?
8. With all the fugly poker tables we have looked at, why does this one bother me on an existential level?

 

[mr11]

The best craftsmanship I’ve ever seen in a poker table

 

[Poker Zombie]

Can I contact the seller, just so I can berate him for using that small of a cage for that big of a dog?

 

[mr11]

Can I contact the seller, just so I can berate him for using that small of a cage for that big of a dog?

I think that’s for the the loser of the nit game

 

[Gear]

The best craftsmanship I’ve ever seen in a poker table
View attachment 1678557

8 of spades, corner poc-- wait a second.

 

[Mushmanchuman]

The best craftsmanship I’ve ever seen in a poker table
View attachment 1678557

What’s up with the nasty head stain on the solo chair? Is that soul glow?

 

[Poker Zombie]

What’s up with the nasty head stain on the solo chair? Is that soul glow?

 

[Mushmanchuman]

View attachment 1679432

 

[Poker Zombie]

That's the gif I was looking for!

I haven't seen Coming to America in probably 30 years, but some stuff just sticks.

 

[Mushmanchuman]

Coming That's the gif I was looking for!

I haven't seen Coming to America in probably 30 years, but some stuff just sticks.

My favorite scene and I’m sure I’m off with the quote here but when the print sits down for a haircut.

“ give me something new and exciting.”

Barber cuts off pony tail with scissors.
“That’ll be $15.”

Or….

“ damn boy what kind of activator are you putting in your hair?

“ do the only thing that I put in my hair are fruits and berries.

 

[GreatWhiteDope]

I feel like any game played on this table should involve tiny gladiators and miniature lions.

 

[Isorg]

I feel like any game played on this table should involve tiny gladiators and miniature lions.

View attachment 1682004

let the Wookie win....

 

[merkong]

The best craftsmanship I’ve ever seen in a poker table
View attachment 1678557

Poker table? I thought it was a factory second Snooker Table

 

[merkong]

I feel like any game played on this table should involve tiny gladiators and miniature lions.

View attachment 1682004

My arms aren’t long enough to play at this table

 

[Ibenfive301]

Just found an ad for this poker table and figured this was the place to post it. I have no idea who this is for, but at least the dealer has enough space for his tips

It looks very unpractical and straight up ugly

 

[Poker Zombie]

View attachment 1682138
Just found an ad for this poker table and figured this was the place to post it. I have no idea who this is for, but at least the dealer has enough space for his tips

It looks very unpractical and straight up ugly

Finally, a table where I can play poker while I do my ironing.

 

[Gear]

Finally, a table where I can play poker while I do my ironing.

Brings new meaning to "steaming"

 

[Tonysquander]

My eyes have rug burns just from looking at this.

 

[Poker Zombie]

There have been threads on how to clean your felt. This one is simple carpet cleaning.

 

[mr11]

Can’t tell if this is a poker table or a putting green