Banned Player Shows Up... WWYD? (1 Viewer)

[Trihonda]

Just idly curious - how does she handle the physicality of poker (cards, chips, etc)? She sorta strikes me as a consummate on-line free money type of player that knows to play the game but this may be one of her first live sessions....it's just so friggin' strange to try to re-image yourself for a $20 cash game.

That said, unless there is another personality issue at play, I don't think it's that big a deal. As a host with a game that you want to sustain, you have to either be blessed with a lot of knowledgeable players with good personalities (and we're very fortunate in the MA/NH area) or determine how much you're willing to put up with based on the number of regs you have. Unless either the husband or she has an awful personality or really acted inappropriately (outside of being knowledgeable about poker), I'd have them back.

I really struggled with this. A number of the experienced players at her first game talked about her play after she left, and we all agreed she had a gift for timed aggression, good folds/calls, and a stone cold nutz poker face. The one part that didn't fit was her min buyin amount.

A good player would want as big a stack as possible, and starting buyins for last night's session were $20-40, going upwards of $100 max buyins later in the session as average stack sizes increased. Everyone bought in for $40, except this couple. And in this particular session her stack never improved, and she never had much to work with.

Her first session, she got lucky early on, improved her stack to around $60 and then came alive... Ya, I wasn't intimidated by her play, but once she had a stack, she knew how to use it. It is just weird that she'd choose to start out without a real competitive stack in the first place?

My games often run until anywhere between 3am-6am, but we do get players who will leave at midnight or 1am (which is no biggie). For them to come at 7pm, and leave at 9-9:30pm (after busting for $20) isn't a good fit for this particular group. If they hadn't busted, I'm betting they'd have left the second they hit a big payday or 10pm (whichever came first).

This last session wasn't overly aggressive, but we still had $1000 on the table ($.25/.50 blinds). I'm not necessarily looking for donors, but I'd like people who've come to play.

 

[bergs]

I really struggled with this. A number of the experienced players at her first game talked about her play after she left, and we all agreed she had a gift for timed aggression, good folds/calls, and a stone cold nutz poker face. The one part that didn't fit was her min buyin amount.

A good player would want as big a stack as possible, and starting buyins for last night's session were $20-40, going upwards of $100 max buyins later in the session as average stack sizes increased. Everyone bought in for $40, except this couple. And in this particular session her stack never improved, and she never had much to work with.

Her first session, she got lucky early on, improved her stack to around $60 and then came alive... Ya, I wasn't intimidated by her play, but once she had a stack, she knew how to use it. It is just weird that she'd choose to start out without a real competitive stack in the first place?

My games often run until anywhere between 3am-6am, but we do get players who will leave at midnight or 1am (which is no biggie). For them to come at 7pm, and leave at 9-9:30pm (after busting for $20) isn't a good fit for this particular group. If they hadn't busted, I'm betting they'd have left the second they hit a big payday or 10pm (whichever came first).

This last session wasn't overly aggressive, but we still had $1000 on the table ($.25/.50 blinds). I'm not necessarily looking for donors, but I'd like people who've come to play.

People that hit and run in home games probably don't deserve to be invited back. I suppose if someone wanted to come and play for 2-3 hours in my game, it wouldn't be a big deal, but then again we'll play 5-6 handed tables no problem with the circus games...

 

[Quicksilver-75]

To me the error was made way back at the start. I don't know about the skill level of your home crowd. But I would have called her out at the table in front of everybody. I would have have also berated my co-worker in the same fashion. He (they) obviously came into this venture knowing they were going to dominate the table. So is it a stretch to assume they were also colluding? I would have asked them to leave immediately so as to put a little faith back into my regulars that that kind of crap won't happen. If she/he had of announced she was a high calibre player I would have opened my arms. I love stiff competition and you'll learn more from a better player.

Ultimately it was your home game. That said it is your responsibility to protect your players from these kinds of problems or risk losing players down the road.

Edit:

The biggest problem I have with this is the fact that the husband/co-worker pre-sold his wife a newb. And she showed up playing the part. Her mannerisms should have given her away. The way she would sit, what she would do during hands she wasn't in, lingo ect...The fact she was good at poker (or perceived as a stronger player) shouldn't be a deterrent for not bringing her and hubby back. Anyone who sits at a game of poker whether in a casino, club or home should brace themselves for a hot-running player to a seasoned shark. But again, This guy knows full well he is joining a friendly low-stakes home game and pre-empts what I would call a set-up with complete BS only to have his wife play the part. It's the underhandedness that would force me tell them both to take a hike.

 

[courage]

Thread title is misleading. I seriously doubt player knew she was banned, and as others have said they are a couple so not possible to host one and ban the other. Let em play until regs show up. Agree with ssanel skill level irrelevant to conversation.

 

[jbutler]

Trihonda, please don't take this as an insult or an assumption on my part, but I can't help but notice that you seem to have/perceive an extremely high number of serious issues which arise in your games or the games you play. Do you think that maybe it's the circle of players you have around or maybe even that your perception of others' actions words may be different from what was intended or how it was interpreted by others?

Again, I'm not trying to point the finger, but over the course of 10 years running a game and playing in several different weekly (some twice or thrice weekly) games, I've seen 5 or fewer incidents on the level of those you seem to report regularly.

 

[Trihonda]

Trihonda, please don't take this as an insult or an assumption on my part, but I can't help but notice that you seem to have/perceive an extremely high number of serious issues which arise in your games or the games you play. Do you think that maybe it's the circle of players you have around or maybe even that your perception of others' actions words may be different from what was intended or how it was interpreted by others?

Again, I'm not trying to point the finger, but over the course of 10 years running a game and playing in several different weekly (some twice or thrice weekly) games, I've seen 5 or fewer incidents on the level of those you seem to report regularly.

Valid question. I'm by no means an expert host. I routinely get over the top compliments of my game and setup (for this I credit advice on chips/tables/cards, and rules etiquette found her and on CT)... and posts such as this. Most of my guests never notice anything wrong. I post some of my issues here to get feedback (to improve). And as stated earlier, in this latest incident, I just rolled with it, told them they could play until folks who'd RSVP'd seats arrived. The night was a success, other than this small blip, which I thought was weird (which is why I wanted to know what others would do).

I know people say you can't invite one, but not the other (married couples), but then again, he only RSVP'd for one seat..? She came unexpected. ...Given that she didn't RSVP, and that I'd told the husband she wasn't welcome, AND told him he took the last seat, I found it bad form for her to show up. She played, we didn't make a big deal of it. Successful night.

 

[Poker Zombie]

Our rule is that if someone brings an unexpected guest unannounced, the unannounced player, and the player bringing them will be told up front that we have limited seating, and RSVP'ed players get first priority. They will barely make it through the door before they are told this, as it is clear that they were unaware that I do not run the WSOP, and cannot just open up extra tables as needed. While my game is now pushing the possibility of a 4th table, I refuse to open it up for an unexpected guest.

Also to pile on for topical consideration, If you invite someone to my game, you are vouching for them. If they turn out to be detrimental to my game, I blame you. You had the bad character judgement to bring them, not me. I should not have to monitor their behavior, you should. I should not have to ban them, you should. If you thought that their ban worthy actions were fine, that reflects on you - and you will also be banned. It's not "invite the husband, you invite the wife", it's "if your guest gets banned, you get banned."

 

[maxim_666666]

I think that this is unacceptable in friendly games ... just tell them straight out that many players unhappy (including you) ...
if it is a game for the money, then all okay ...

 

[bergs]

Ironically, instead of understating his familiarity with poker, I had the opposite problem recently - I invited someone I know pretty well to my game after chatting with them briefly - they had repeatedly impressed upon me that they play regularly at Foxwoods. I wasn't at his table at my game (we had 2 tables that night) but basically everyone at his table relayed that he wasn't familiar with any of the physicality of poker. He's a great guy, just doesn't fit in for the type of game I host.

 

[MeridianFC]

Why do you want these angle shooters in your game?

 

[Buddha]

I only read the first page, but if the wife was 'banned' for integrity issues (better player than led on), why wasn't the husband part of that. He started the charade when asking if she could come, saying that she would need a cheat sheet. He said her skill wasn't there when it was, and was part of the deceit. While I don't currently host, I would probably lean towards at least giving both time off from the game, with the possibility of future removal from further notifications.

 

[Trihonda]

I only read the first page, but if the wife was 'banned' for integrity issues (better player than led on), why wasn't the husband part of that. He started the charade when asking if she could come, saying that she would need a cheat sheet. He said her skill wasn't there when it was, and was part of the deceit. While I don't currently host, I would probably lean towards at least giving both time off from the game, with the possibility of future removal from further notifications.

Ya, definitely a good point. I am not at all familiar with this guy's current wife (other than her time at my house). His first wife died in a car accident, while I was training him (maybe 8-10 years ago?), and this is his second wife. I think he hasn't been the same since, and it's apparent that she wears the pants in the family. I have always felt bad for him because of how his first wife's death pretty much derailed his career.. Which is why I've given him some slack (and allowed him to take my last seat)..

He knew his wife was not welcome, but I think that his wife heard he was playing poker at my place, and insisted on coming. This was made apparent, when she came into my house and announced loudly that the husband had said it'd be ok if she could play... (and the husband hung his head). I was cordial and (as stated) allowed her to play... But I think they got the point of RSVP'ing, when I had an invited neighbor "drop in" (who didn't rsvp), and I explained to him that we didn't have a seat open because he did not RSVP as required... My neighbor hung out and drank beers without interrupting or interfering with the pokerz (totally cool).

I later heard through the husband's current co-workers, that his wife doesn't want to play at my house anymore... I'm guessing because the wife is a bully control freak and (to steal words from Damon Wayans) "Homey don't play dat"... I'm not a person who gets bullied very easily.

It's all a moot point, because neither are getting invited again. Drama, minimum one-time buyins (that don't fit my groups' play), hit and run mentality, previous deceptive behavior, and potential for collusion. The skill level isn't a factor.

 

[pltrgyst]

....I know people say you can't invite one, but not the other (married couples)....

Of course you can. If you want an all male game, for whatever reason, that's perfectly acceptable. If women want an all woman game, they're entitled to that, too.

My last home game in VA ran for well over ten years. At first, it was mixed gender, but IMO, that put an obvious social damper on the evenings when women were present -- even my wife could tell, from the safety of her upstairs office. 8)

. So I established minimum ages for the game: 25 for men, 106 for women. And after that, I never heard a peep of complaint from anyone.

 

[BGinGA]

So I established minimum ages for the game: 25 for men, 106 for women. And after that, I never heard a peep of complaint from anyone.

lol, you probably could have totally thinned the female herd by just setting it at 40 - and requiring photo id proof.

 

[Shanghai Sparky]

Of course you can. If you want an all male game, for whatever reason, that's perfectly acceptable. If women want an all woman game, they're entitled to that, too.

Topless poker?

 

[Trihonda]

I've hosted a few ladies nights...

[/IMG]

 

[moose]

Totally wrong approach IMO. 25 min for guys, 25 Max for ladies...