I beg you, how doth one poker? (3 Viewers)

MrCatPants

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My Goodman and Goodwoman - I have encountered this most ribald past time and am quite enthralled. But pray tell, how doth one truly poker?

What items might one require?

To play, to what room in the home shall one and their guests retire?

Is there personnel one must hire?

Rules thou shalt have to avoid a mire?

Colors of tokens that are most fire?

Methods for handling that guest who's a liar?

A proper etiquette and pricing for reselling tokens one doth acquire?

Methods for taking tokens apart? Do i need needled nosey pliers?

Perhaps what are the most glorious cards, of which my guests will not tire?


Seriously, every thread has been made like a dozen times. There are no more threads left. Prove me wrong.
 
What doth one do if, whilst sitting at a table of poker, one’s ballsack happens into an uncomfortable position? Shouldst a player stand up and go outside or to a private room to adjust it? Or is’t socially acceptable to make the adjustment at the table, as discreetly as possible?
 
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Here’s one:

What doth one do if, whilst sitting at a table of poker, one’s ballsack happens into an uncomfortable position? Shouldst a player stand up and go outside or to a private room to adjust it? Or is’t socially acceptable to make the adjustment at the table, as discreetly as possible?
Good sir! Thou art falsely reducing the problem in question to two resolutions. Amongst friends, most of whom have ballsacks, most surely dispensing with pretences of discretion is an option.
 
What doth one do if, whilst sitting at a table of poker, one’s ballsack happens into an uncomfortable position? Shouldst a player stand up and go outside or to a private room to adjust it? Or is’t socially acceptable to make the adjustment at the table, as discreetly as possible?

Dost thou then play Scrotum? Or 'tis meet that the assembled jackanapes 'round this felt-laden altar now adopt the "playinge of gaymes" such as during the carnival?
 
“I must to the barber's, monsieur; for methinks, I am marvellous hairy about the face: and I am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me, I must scratch.”

FWIW, I once saw a student production of that there Shaksper play, which made me laugh harder than anything I have ever seen live.
 
There once was a game called poker
It is played with 52 cards, but no joker
2 or more cards you get
and most likely should 3-bet
and take advantage of those who are mediocre.

St Patricks Day Dancing GIF by Animanias
 
Hickory Dickory Dock
MatB can suck a _______
Put arrows in a quiver
Shoot him in the ________
He’s just so easy to ________
 
I viddy that thinking is for the gloopy ones and that the oomny ones use like inspiration and what Bog sends. Oh, my brothers, making up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening.
 
How about a classic poem?

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
 

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