Biggest challenge Hosting a home poker game? (3 Viewers)

[cpac54]

The craziest example in my usual games is a player who always complains of being cold — even when everyone else is too warm.

In this game you get to pick your seat, first come first served… The “I’m cold” player always arrives early and PICKS THE SEAT CLOSEST TO THE WINDOW AIR CONDITIONER. Which is at most three feet from her chair, at roughly head-height when sitting.

So she’s choosing to be right in the path of the A/C wind.

After a half hour or so of course she asks the host if he would turn down or even turn off the A/C completely. When it’s 90 degrees and humid outside.

I have gently suggested that maybe she’d be more comfortable if she took one of the seats furthest from the A/C, on the other side of the table. Oh no, this is “her” seat.

I have also suggested maybe she could bring a shawl, or wear another layer of clothing. (Everyone else prefers it around 68-72 degrees.) Well why can’t the host just turn off the A/C, she says.

After multiple repeats of this conversation I must conclude that this player is as dumb as she is stubborn. But since she’s the biggest fish in the game, nobody wants to tell her to fuck off.

Fortunately the host himself (who usually deals) tends to feel too hot, and doesn’t indulge her nonsense.

Some people are just completely oblivious and/or self-absorbed.

We had a guy in our group (no longer), who was the only guy to never bring anything to drink, never brought anything snack-wise, and never chipped in towards food/drinks organized by the host.

When I started hosting, I always made pizzas after work and made sure there were snacks and some drinks on hand for players. Most players would still bring snacks/food/drinks too, or chip in a little cash at the end of the night (not expected, but appreciated). This guy? Not once. Some players tried to hint that it might be good to bring something with him when he came to games, but the hint fell on deaf ears.

At some point he actually had the audacity to message me and request specific pizza toppings in advance…. lol. Some people, man.

 

[GoJo_Dingo]

Some people are just completely oblivious and/or self-absorbed.

We had a guy in our group (no longer), who was the only guy to never bring anything to drink, never brought anything snack-wise, and never chipped in towards food/drinks organized by the host.

When I started hosting, I always made pizzas after work and made sure there were snacks and some drinks on hand for players. Most players would still bring snacks/food/drinks too, or chip in a little cash at the end of the night (not expected, but appreciated). This guy? Not once. Some players tried to hint that it might be good to bring something with him when he came to games, but the hint fell on deaf ears.

At some point he actually had the audacity to message me and request specific pizza toppings in advance…. lol. Some people, man.

Can anyone really be this oblivious? I mean, how, just how can an adult be this obvious?

 

[Taghkanic]

There’s a long-running Twitter discussion of the assertion (made in some studies) that 1/3 of people, and maybe as many as half, basically have no inner life.

This part of the population doesn’t reflect upon their experience, or have other internal monologues with themselves. Rather, these people mainly just react to what they see and hear and feel, fairly instantaneously. Then move right on to the next stimulus, without any look back at what just happened.

The longer I live / play poker, the more I buy this theory.

 

[dizzyChipper]

@Taghkanic

Telling the dealer he'll get him at the end, knowing he wont, is unethical.
Tipping less than anybody else isnt unethical.

This Nico...

1 option is to replace him. I'm sure you need him or you'd have already replaced him right?

He's essentially multi tabling to increase his hourly. 1 live plus 1 or more on phone. Dudes a mega pro.

My main point below is this youre the host at a home game - not a regulated casino. You dont have to treat everyone the same way.

"Nico, you can use your phone. You dont have to hide it. But if you're in your phone and actions on you and the dealer is waiting 3 seconds and if you dont act your hand is dead. You can keep your head buried in your phone. No need to worry but everybody isnt going to wait on you every action."

Yes this rule can only be for Nico because he's the only one holding up the table all the time.

Next - if dealer wants to make $500 and his share is $50 then yes. Take it out of his and only his buy in.

BOTH of these Nico rules can just be threatened and he may be shamed into tipping or tipping out or getting off his phone. Honestly, Id just do it but tell him ahead of time (or then you're the one being unethical). You can be very direct with a Nico. Hes going to go to whatever he thinks delivers the best return for him and is clearly shameless.

He'll still show up IMO.

---

My dealers take on a Nico - ive had similar situations. To paraphrase - "With a better tipper there maybe Id make $500. With nico there maybe I make $450. Without Nico there maybe there's no game and I make $0." The dealer doesn't dislike Nico if he's the 8th man and makes the game.

---

Related story - I have 1 very strong player in my game. Almost never loses. I tell him "You cant button straddle." He says ok. A rec button straddles a few hands later. He objects. He says "You said I cant button straddle. " I say thats right "YOU cant button straddle." "You cant make a rule just for me." "Fine, WSOP bracelet winners can't button straddle."

 

[dizzyChipper]

There’s a long-running Twitter discussion of the assertion (made in some studies) that 1/3 of people, and maybe as many as half, basically have no inner life.

This part of the population doesn’t reflect, or have internal monologues with themselves. Rather, these people mainly just react to what they see and hear and feel, fairly instantaneously. Then move right on to the next stimulus, without any look back at what just happened.

The longer I live / play poker, the more I buy this theory.

If you're a Stern fan. Ronnie the Limo Driver is this.

 

[OnTiltAlways]

Working arou d e eryone's schedule for sure. Got a good group of 8 players, been playing for 20+ tears, but can get real frustrating on setting a date only to have a flake or two cancel. Grrrrr....

 

[badbeat37]

People are definitely the most challenging variable that you cannot control. People flake out requiring you to try and fill seats last minute.

 

[DeeVee8]

We make our calendar for the year in advance. Schedule release is Jan 1 and encourage players to plan for our dates (about 1x month). We play tournaments and have a points competition, pull a small rake that's used for a freeroll at the end. It seems to keep people playing.

I use a google form for RSVP tracking and post the spreadsheet of who's coming on our website.

 

[Taghkanic]

We make our calendar for the year in advance.

I tried circulating a calendar for a while, projecting out six months at a time, making sure to avoid weeks with major holidays (the lead-ups to Christmas and Thanksgiving are especially bad for poker). I’d send it to players around New Year’s and then again in July.

The problem is that the schedule always winds up having to be rearranged.

For example, we play twice a month and normally I would have a game this coming week — but unexpectedly I have to travel for a project. So I’ll be bumping the game a week ahead.

If I stuck to a longterm calendar, that would mean either hosting games two weeks in a row to get back onto the calendar’s original spacing of every-other-week for the remainder of the year, or totally rearranging the calendar, which defeats its purpose.

So now I don’t bother. Players just know that the game is every other week, and if for whatever reason we miss a week, everything just gets bumped ahead 7 days.

Anyway I didn't find that turnout was noticeably better or worse when I announced a six-month calendar in advance.

That said... If I were only hosting 4-6 times a year, then I could see how it would make sense to announce all the dates well in advance.

 

[DeeVee8]

I tried circulating a calendar for a while, projecting out six months at a time, making sure to avoid weeks with major holidays (the lead-ups to Christmas and Thanksgiving are especially bad for poker). I’d send it to players around New Year’s and then again in July.

The problem is that the schedule always winds up having to be rearranged.

For example, we play twice a month and normally I would have a game this coming week — but unexpectedly I have to travel for a project. So I’ll be bumping the game a week ahead.

If I stuck to a longterm calendar, that would mean either hosting games two weeks in a row to get back onto the calendar’s original spacing of every-other-week for the remainder of the year, or totally rearranging the calendar, which defeats its purpose.

So now I don’t bother. Players just know that the game is every other week, and if for whatever reason we miss a week, everything just gets bumped ahead 7 days.

Anyway I didn't find that turnout was noticeably better or worse when I announced a six-month calendar in advance.

That said... If I were only hosting 4-6 times a year, then I could see how it would make sense to announce all the dates well in advance.

I’m fortunate that I can stick to the schedule. We have 12-14 games a year, we’ve had to reschedule once or twice in 23 yrs. But that was family emergency type stuff.

 

[OnTiltAlways]

DeeVee8 that's great that your group is so committed to the game and to hanging out with one another. Definitely an exception to what most of us have experienced. Can I join your group?

 

[DeeVee8]

DeeVee8 that's great that your group is so committed to the game and to hanging out with one another. Definitely an exception to what most of us have experienced. Can I join your group?

lol, always a seat for you. We are very fortunate to have our group. Since our first season, we’ve turned over the entire roster 2-3 times. Me and the other hosts are the only originals left.

 

[Jaxen]

I tried circulating a calendar for a while, projecting out six months at a time, making sure to avoid weeks with major holidays (the lead-ups to Christmas and Thanksgiving are especially bad for poker). I’d send it to players around New Year’s and then again in July.

The problem is that the schedule always winds up having to be rearranged.

For example, we play twice a month and normally I would have a game this coming week — but unexpectedly I have to travel for a project. So I’ll be bumping the game a week ahead.

If I stuck to a longterm calendar, that would mean either hosting games two weeks in a row to get back onto the calendar’s original spacing of every-other-week for the remainder of the year, or totally rearranging the calendar, which defeats its purpose.

So now I don’t bother. Players just know that the game is every other week, and if for whatever reason we miss a week, everything just gets bumped ahead 7 days.

Anyway I didn't find that turnout was noticeably better or worse when I announced a six-month calendar in advance.

That said... If I were only hosting 4-6 times a year, then I could see how it would make sense to announce all the dates well in advance.

Our Orlando group runs 7 tournaments a year (well, 6 and 3 cash games where we give tournament points based on combined +/-). I'd love to sit down in January and map out the dates for all of them. But sadly, as much as the guys (and gal) want to play, they take no interest in tourney management. Just tell 'em when and where to show up (luckily they take care of snacks and beer, if it's at my house they leave me with a supply). They want to play regularly, but if it wasn't for me they wouldn't play at all.
So I schedule these things when I can make them. But I don't know my own schedule more that 5-6 weeks out, so it shoehorns dates we can play based on when the hosts outside of me can host. If it's when others can't play, they make a big deal. Basically it's a big boy pants-you problem. Our tourney series champion from 2024 has played 2 of our 5 games this year and probably won't make the Championship year-end free roll. He isn't complaining as much as everybody else ("Chris should get a seat at the final as the defending champion!")
So that's what I'm up against. Once the tourney clock starts, everybody's played enough to mind they bid'ness.

 

[Taghkanic]

I can't repeat the A.B.C. (Always Be reCruiting) mantra often enough.

My game has been going off regularly, after a tough patch last winter. No problem getting the game together. I even got one of my old tournament regulars from before the pandemic to rejoin (we now play cash only).

Then after two return sessions, the player had a serious house fire.*** His life has been turned upside down. Won't be playing for a while until things get restored.

Then one of my most steady longtime regs took me aside as he was cashing out to tell me he can't play for at least the rest of the year due to a serious health issue which he just discovered.

Oy.

On the positive side... I was at the hardware store and ran into another of my old lapsed tournament regs. We were talking at the checkout counter about the game, how he wants to come back soon, me telling him about how some of the guys he knows are doing, etc. As I was going to leave, one of the hardware store guys chases after me. He says he heard us talking about poker, and didn't want to but in, but he just moved to the area from a neighboring state and has been looking for a good game. Said he ran a four-table tournament for 15 years. We exchanged numbers; maybe it will work out and he can help make up for the loss of the above regs.

A.B.C. Always Be reCruiting.

 

[Taghkanic]

*** From above: His house fire was caused, terrifyingly, by a battery on a cordless drill which was sitting on a wood workbench in his attached garage. If he hadn't been nearby, and had an alarm system, it could have been a total loss.

I mention it because I suspect most of us her have at least a few these batteries. I have a ton of them for not just cordless drills but pole saws, chainsaws, string trimmers, a pressure washer, etc.

My reg who had the fire is now planning to store his (remaining) batteries in some sort of fireproof box, but that isn't really an option for me, because I have so many to keep charged. I use them constantly. So I have at least for now moved all such batteries out of my main house and into my (very) separate barn—worst comes to worst, I lose the barn rather than the house.

 

[Poker Zombie]

From above: His house fire was caused, terrifyingly, by a battery on a cordless drill which was sitting on a wood workbench in his attached garage. If he hadn't been nearby, and had an alarm system, it could have been a total loss.

Rechargeable batteries - including cell phones - are a known fire risk. The risk is admittedly very small, but as we continue to add more and more lithium ion batteries to our lifestyle, the greater the risk becomes. The risk is greater as the battery ages, and greater when it is charging, but charging is not the only time batteries can spontaneously combust - that is why you are prohibited from having LI batteries in your checked luggage when flying. LI batteries can degrade at temps over 95 degrees(f), so leaving them on a charger in an area that is not temperature controlled gives your "opponent" a couple outs you would rather it not have.

 

[Taghkanic]

FWIW I just did some analysis of my home game attendance stats, to see what I might glean from them as far as how to sustain and improve my game. I decided to post these as a separate thread rather than derail this one, but thought other hosts who are reading here might be interested:

https://www.pokerchipforum.com/threads/learning-from-my-home-game-attendance-stats.136398/