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Poker Zombie

Poker Zombie

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@nlhenerd posted in another thread 3 instances where he has banned players. That got me to thinking... what have your players done that got them banned (or simply cut from the invitation list) players.

My initial contribution:
I had a player with a glass of red wine. He didn't like to get up to refill it so he always poured it very close to the brim. Stupid close. Puckery-lips-to-slurp-because-tilting-the-glass-to-your-mouth-would-result-in-a-spill close.

We were returning from break (my room is very tight) and he got bumped. Not hard enough that an "excuse-me" was warranted given the tight quarters, but a bump that caused an ample splash to sail from the glass onto my living room carpet. He looked at the spill, shrugged, and continued to his seat, sucking the wine from his fingers. I waited a beat and grabbed a towel. He never looked over and began a conversation at his table.

I cleaned his mess, and never invited him back. Treat the house as if it were your own - unless your house is complete trash.

Spills happen, ignoring it so it goes away doesn't.
 
Poker Zombie said:
@nlhenerd posted in another thread 3 instances where he has banned players. That got me to thinking... what have your players done that got them banned (or simply cut from the invitation list) players.

My initial contribution:
I had a player with a glass of red wine. He didn't like to get up to refill it so he always poured it very close to the brim. Stupid close. Puckery-lips-to-slurp-because-tilting-the-glass-to-your-mouth-would-result-in-a-spill close.

We were returning from break (my room is very tight) and he got bumped. Not hard enough that an "excuse-me" was warranted given the tight quarters, but a bump that caused an ample splash to sail from the glass onto my living room carpet. He looked at the spill, shrugged, and continued to his seat, sucking the wine from his fingers. I waited a beat and grabbed a towel. He never looked over and began a conversation at his table.

I cleaned his mess, and never invited him back. Treat the house as if it were your own - unless your house is complete trash.

Spills happen, ignoring it so it goes away doesn't.
Click to expand...
What an awful house guest!!
 
Poker Zombie said:
@nlhenerd posted in another thread 3 instances where he has banned players. That got me to thinking... what have your players done that got them banned (or simply cut from the invitation list) players.

My initial contribution:
I had a player with a glass of red wine. He didn't like to get up to refill it so he always poured it very close to the brim. Stupid close. Puckery-lips-to-slurp-because-tilting-the-glass-to-your-mouth-would-result-in-a-spill close.

We were returning from break (my room is very tight) and he got bumped. Not hard enough that an "excuse-me" was warranted given the tight quarters, but a bump that caused an ample splash to sail from the glass onto my living room carpet. He looked at the spill, shrugged, and continued to his seat, sucking the wine from his fingers. I waited a beat and grabbed a towel. He never looked over and began a conversation at his table.

I cleaned his mess, and never invited him back. Treat the house as if it were your own - unless your house is complete trash.

Spills happen, ignoring it so it goes away doesn't.
Click to expand...
I bought Pink sippy cups, and washed them, I then put the out for all to see, someone asked 'What are those for?', I explained 'Any MF'er that spill shit will only be allowed to drink from the pink sippy cups'. To-date: No spills :wtf:

IMG_0576.jpeg
 
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The only time I had to put someone on the banned list is when we had a guy not be able to hold his liquor and get sick in my bathroom. When he came out he acted like it didn't happen. Then later on I had to clean all the puke splatter up around the toilet and surrounding area. I am all about having a fun time but know your limit. And if you make a mess, clean it up!
 
Poker Zombie said:
@nlhenerd posted in another thread 3 instances where he has banned players. That got me to thinking... what have your players done that got them banned (or simply cut from the invitation list) players.

My initial contribution:
I had a player with a glass of red wine. He didn't like to get up to refill it so he always poured it very close to the brim. Stupid close. Puckery-lips-to-slurp-because-tilting-the-glass-to-your-mouth-would-result-in-a-spill close.

We were returning from break (my room is very tight) and he got bumped. Not hard enough that an "excuse-me" was warranted given the tight quarters, but a bump that caused an ample splash to sail from the glass onto my living room carpet. He looked at the spill, shrugged, and continued to his seat, sucking the wine from his fingers. I waited a beat and grabbed a towel. He never looked over and began a conversation at his table.

I cleaned his mess, and never invited him back. Treat the house as if it were your own - unless your house is complete trash.

Spills happen, ignoring it so it goes away doesn't.
Click to expand...
Flipping squirrels!
Post in thread 'Asking for one time donations...'
https://www.pokerchipforum.com/threads/asking-for-one-time-donations.73900/post-1497472
 
Poker Zombie said:
@nlhenerd posted in another thread 3 instances where he has banned players. That got me to thinking... what have your players done that got them banned (or simply cut from the invitation list) players.

My initial contribution:
I had a player with a glass of red wine. He didn't like to get up to refill it so he always poured it very close to the brim. Stupid close. Puckery-lips-to-slurp-because-tilting-the-glass-to-your-mouth-would-result-in-a-spill close.

We were returning from break (my room is very tight) and he got bumped. Not hard enough that an "excuse-me" was warranted given the tight quarters, but a bump that caused an ample splash to sail from the glass onto my living room carpet. He looked at the spill, shrugged, and continued to his seat, sucking the wine from his fingers. I waited a beat and grabbed a towel. He never looked over and began a conversation at his table.

I cleaned his mess, and never invited him back. Treat the house as if it were your own - unless your house is complete trash.

Spills happen, ignoring it so it goes away doesn't.
Click to expand...

So far so good with my games, have only had half a dozen sessions so far resulting in a couple of marks on the suede rail that have come out easily but no spills or anything serious. Invites will stop for anyone who disrespects the game or my space.

Hope I never have to go all Billy Ray.

 
Person 1 - Palmed a 100 unit chip in a tournament. Didn't think he got caught. Did it again, my wife caught him. Camera in garage later confirmed.
People 2 and 3 - Husband and wife team. She would always chip dump to the husband. Took 2 tournaments to figure it out, but we did.
Person 4 - Loud, obnoxius, and very handsy. Always trying to put his hands on the pot even when he had nothing to do with that current hand.
Person 5 - Didn't like the rules that were in place and publicly complained that the game was too strict.
I'm sure there are a couple more, brain refuses to cooperate this morning.
 
1: Young woman was teaching brand new players to separate their winnings in our microstakes game, plus demanded to see any folded hand at any river, to the point that she's yelling across the table....we dealt with this, but then she insulted a friend about his recovery journey. Boom, off the list.
2: Local player who's good has been telling people I kicked him because he was winning too much money (he wasn't, 50/50 on winning sessions, I've got the receipts), but it was because he was angling and string betting brand new people who didn't even know the term. Classic, staring at opponent while betting 3 dollars, then reaching back for more once you're sure they're calling. This plus whining to my wife about the game ending too early? Boom, booted.
3: Motherfucker told me to turn off Bruce Springsteen. Boom, booted. Now HE'S Out In The Street cause I'm Tougher Than The Rest, punk.

The rest were just obvious cheats when I was helping deal a more serious game, making prop bets then not paying up or refusing to tip dealers. Fake action.
 
Poker Zombie said:
@nlhenerd posted in another thread 3 instances where he has banned players. That got me to thinking... what have your players done that got them banned (or simply cut from the invitation list) players.

My initial contribution:
I had a player with a glass of red wine. He didn't like to get up to refill it so he always poured it very close to the brim. Stupid close. Puckery-lips-to-slurp-because-tilting-the-glass-to-your-mouth-would-result-in-a-spill close.

We were returning from break (my room is very tight) and he got bumped. Not hard enough that an "excuse-me" was warranted given the tight quarters, but a bump that caused an ample splash to sail from the glass onto my living room carpet. He looked at the spill, shrugged, and continued to his seat, sucking the wine from his fingers. I waited a beat and grabbed a towel. He never looked over and began a conversation at his table.

I cleaned his mess, and never invited him back. Treat the house as if it were your own - unless your house is complete trash.

Spills happen, ignoring it so it goes away doesn't.
Click to expand...
^^This is pretty crappy, especially as an adult. It’s one thing when we were bachelors and didn’t have nice stuff - lol. But to treat someone’s house like that is pretty inexcusable.

I’d have lost his name as well.
 
It’s a shame… don’t have this problem here my players are perfect ;) And my man cave has an old tiling :LOL: :laugh:
 
Had someone who would show up and get sloppy drunk often. Dropped.

Had someone who showed up and proceeded to get into arguements with other players. Dropped.

We like to drink when we play, but please control yourself. I don't want to be cleaning up your big mess or be liable for anything that happens to you when you go home. Also we are playing to hang out and have fun. If you you come to cause friction, you're not welcome back.
 
I have never had to ban anyone, but I did have a couple self-ban. We have a very lively crew, most of whom had known each other for over a decade at this point. There is lots of smack talk from everyone. Nothing is sacred. One member, RR, started dating a woman after his divorce and began to bring her to play in the game. She was always talking (not about poker), not paying attention, couldn't deal, and generally slowed the game down for everyone. Anyhow, boyfriend RR always referred to her as the "Lovely [insert name]"

At one game, about 8 months into her playing, another player just happened to be wearing a shirt from some company that had "Lovely" printed on the front of it. She asked him where she could buy one. He replied that they likely would not sell her one due to concerns of liability exposure arising from false advertising. Everyone had a good laugh. Per RR, on their way home, she had a complete melt down over it and they decided to drop out.
 
Only one ban for me:

Player would frequently color up from the pot regardless of whether he was in the hand or not. Warned him several times but he'd disregard it, insisting what he was doing was not a big deal despite being in my posted rules as a no-no.

Ultimately shadow-banned him by just removing him from the invite list.

Ran into him at random a year or two later near work and he asked about when the next game was. Didn't give him a straight answer given I'd been too "busy" to host any <wink wink>.
 
Machine said:
I bought Pink sippy cups, and washed them, I then put the out for all to see, someone asked 'What are those for?', I explained 'Any MF'er that spill shit will only be allowed to drink from the pink sippy cups'. To-date: No spills :wtf:

View attachment 1132965
Click to expand...
I’ve got 3 young kids; can confirm that these sippy cups work pretty well. Although you have the fancy double-handle version.
 
NotRealNameNoSir said:
1: Young woman was teaching brand new players to separate their winnings in our microstakes game, plus demanded to see any folded hand at any river, to the point that she's yelling across the table....we dealt with this, but then she insulted a friend about his recovery journey. Boom, off the list.
2: Local player who's good has been telling people I kicked him because he was winning too much money (he wasn't, 50/50 on winning sessions, I've got the receipts), but it was because he was angling and string betting brand new people who didn't even know the term. Classic, staring at opponent while betting 3 dollars, then reaching back for more once you're sure they're calling. This plus whining to my wife about the game ending too early? Boom, booted.
3: Motherfucker told me to turn off Bruce Springsteen. Boom, booted. Now HE'S Out In The Street cause I'm Tougher Than The Rest, punk.

The rest were just obvious cheats when I was helping deal a more serious game, making prop bets then not paying up or refusing to tip dealers. Fake action.
Click to expand...
1683739080834.gif
 
Machine said:
I bought Pink sippy cups, and washed them, I then put the out for all to see, someone asked 'What are those for?', I explained 'Any MF'er that spill shit will only be allowed to drink from the pink sippy cups'. To-date: No spills :wtf:

View attachment 1132965
Click to expand...
I'm so using that. Two people will be getting them next time they are belligerent drunk as a precaution. They can use them or leave.
 
Person 1: took a $100 rebuy into his stack without anyone seeing, except the one guy on the sofa... never invited back, i covered the loss.

Person 2: Berated a newer player for "slow rolling" when he turned his hand over 3rd after calling two all ins when he had a full house... then after being admonished for that and playing some more times, he then got into a 2 hour long verbal spar with one of the nicest players over something that never happened. Booted after that.
 
PlaidDragon said:
Only one ban for me:

Player would frequently color up from the pot regardless of whether he was in the hand or not. Warned him several times but he'd disregard it, insisting what he was doing was not a big deal despite being in my posted rules as a no-no.

Ultimately shadow-banned him by just removing him from the invite list.

Ran into him at random a year or two later near work and he asked about when the next game was. Didn't give him a straight answer given I'd been too "busy" to host any <wink wink>.
Click to expand...
The "too busy" reply effectively keeps the bannable at bay, but I am all in favor of honesty when applying a shadow ban.

"When's the next game?"
"Remember when I asked you to stop coloring up from the pot? The next game is the one after you learn to follow the posted rule"

Of course, if that's only if you were willing to take him back. Frequently, bannable players don't have just a single bad trait. They have many, and it's the final straw that leaves a host saying "I didn't need him anyway".

Back to my wine-spilling player, he was loud and boisterous, in all mannerisms. Not bannable, but it was tiring. He would slam-fold when taking a big beat. Again, it didn't feel it warranted a ban, you lose 1-2 big hands a night in a tournament and you're crippled.
But I check the decks after every event. I usually had 1 or 2 cards nicked. Not enough to call shenanigan's, as they appeared to be extremely random cards (I still have the list). I assumed it was from an aggressive overhand shuffle. I would just swap out the nicked cards from a fresh deck and carry on.

We have only had 3 cards damaged since the player was banned... 10 years ago.
 
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MrBoosh said:
The only time I had to put someone on the banned list is when we had a guy not be able to hold his liquor and get sick in my bathroom. When he came out he acted like it didn't happen. Then later on I had to clean all the puke splatter up around the toilet and surrounding area. I am all about having a fun time but know your limit. And if you make a mess, clean it up!
Click to expand...
Samsies. My friend's brother got sick in the guest bathroom. I was told that his friend was taking care of him. The next morning I found the dried mess all over the floor. My fault for assuming the friend would take care of him the way I would, including the clean up. He just excorted him to the car when they left. I can handle the mess if I'm alerted. Done this many times. Including scrubbing the carpets in my guest bedroom at 2 am. But if they don't say anything, begone!!!!
 
I recently banned a player. It was her first time and she suffers from social anxiety and therefore needs to be intoxicated to meet new people. I guess she overcompensated the alcohol for the players that came and drank 3/4 of a 750ml of tequila in about 20 minutes. She was inappropriately drunk, embarrassed herself, embarrassed me and was insulting my friends. She had no poker etiquette even after I explained all that to her. She ended up passing out on my $3,000 table I just got which was actually the best part of the night and luckily she didn’t drool or puke.

She made the mistake of later asking me if all my friends “loved her”.
 
I’ve banned :

1 cheater. He was palming chips in a tournament. Was seen on 2 occasions. After the second time, gone.

1 guy rubbed too many people the wrong way. Always berating players who beat him in big pots, or players playing bad cards and got lucky.

1 person who was best friends with another regular player, but the friendship soured badly, and one had to go. The one that stayed is a family member.

1 person as a result of a divorce. Couldn’t have them both playing. See above.

I also have a rule that if you RSVP yes and don’t show without any notification 2 times, I remove you from my list. They aren’t banned, but I’m not reaching out to them either.

** edit

After 15 years and between 300-400 unique players in my house, that’s not too bad
 
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Sneakygreek said:
I recently banned a player. It was her first time and she suffers from social anxiety and therefore needs to be intoxicated to meet new people. I guess she overcompensated the alcohol for the players that came and drank 3/4 of a 750ml of tequila in about 20 minutes. She was inappropriately drunk, embarrassed herself, embarrassed me and was insulting my friends. She had no poker etiquette even after I explained all that to her. She ended up passing out on my $3,000 table I just got which was actually the best part of the night and luckily she didn’t drool or puke.

She made the mistake of later asking me if all my friends “loved her”.
Click to expand...
27625633-E720-4C7A-86E0-86106A051226.gif

705476A7-A773-481D-ACF1-CDACBE162053.gif
 
Very few people get explicitly banned at my game. I've been hosting home poker for about 15 years and I can only think of six players:
  1. caught bottom dealing
  2. someone in 2011 but I honestly don't remember the reason
  3. suspected of stacking the deck
  4. guilt by association to #3
  5. disrespectful and disruptive causing a premature end to one poker night
  6. sore loser begging for his losses back the morning after, then launched a tirade of insults when I obviously said no
 
Holy shit you guys need some new friends or better vetting.

Only once did something even close to this - semi-reg brought a friend (unasked/unannounced) who seemed to be drugged out. I just didn't add him to the invite list, and reminded everyone a few weeks later if they know someone they think would be good for the game, they have to talk to me first.

This was also the only time I needed to host 11 handed, and that was separately terrible.
 

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