WTF Host Rant (2 Viewers)

[joseywales]

I host a small social game. Same group each game. I swear it’s like their brains shut down when they walk in the door. BTW, we’re not playing in my garage. It’s a first floor game room.

One guy says, “can I put my cake plate down on the table, while I look at my cards?” Me, “sure, if you want tonight to be your last night here.” Now, I know I shouldn’t serve cake, but when my wife offers to make her eclair cake, no one says no. The next day, I told her, finger foods/desserts only.

An hour later, the same guy puts his beer down on top of my nice wooden server. I rush in with a coaster and say, “you really do want this to be your last night don’t you?” He’s a very nice guy and just isn’t thinking. There is a coast RIGHT FRIGGIN THERE!!! Jesus!

Another guy, trying to help while I’m in a hand, he puts a serving tray on the same wooden server. WTH??? It’s very nice wood and there have been many other times that guys put bottles on it. I would stick a bottle in my pocket, before placing it on a wooden surface, ANY wooden surface.

These guys aren’t bikers, they’re corporate types. In fact, that might be the problem. Many years ago, I managed auto service shops and there was one tech who was divorced. He had long hair and was sleeved with tattoos. His bike chrome was immaculate. I went to his house once and not only was it clean, he had folded all of the kids laundry, placed neatly. Go figure...

It distracts me from the game sometimes. I’m adjusting some hosting techniques, etc. And will make a general housekeeping announcement that will hopefully sink in.

Rant over.

 

[dkersey]

I totally get it. With bonehead moves like that, maybe the accoutrements are too nice. Maybe downgrade to plastics, that or maybe it should be in the Garage!

 

[krafticus]

maybe you should put away/cover the items that you don't want items on....??

 

[ruskba]

Last game I hosted, I had a guy who brought Doritos (perfectly fine) and kept bringing a handful from the snack table and setting them directly on the felt. He had to reach over plates and napkins to get to the Doritos. At least he’d wipe his fingers on his pants before handling cards and chips?

 

[WedgeRock]

I might be sounding like a dick here, but when dealing with groups you have to cater to the least common denominator.

If you don't want Doritos on your felt, don't put them out. Or, do what casinos do -- tell them their hands are folded while they are eating, no food at the table (or no Doritos at the table).

Likewise to OP, if you are serving drinks, cover up furniture...

I get the rant, its frustrating for sure. But if you remove the possibility, you'll have fewer issues.

 

[Trihonda]

I had a player repeatedly eat over the table. Often dropping crumbs into the felt (a custom Chan cloth). One game, he kept ignoring my constant friendly reminders. But when he moved from pretzels to chocolate, is when the issues really amped up.

I wasn’t watching him, and suddenly heard the table gasp. I look over and he’d dropped some big chocolate delicacy crumb onto the table. When I looked at him him in disbelief, he said “what?” “Quit worrying, I’ll clean it up”. Then he licked his thumb, and used it to rub the chocolate into the cloth surface. Just smearing it in... ugh. Luckily I had Tony Chan on speed dial and he provided the remedy. That was old geezers last invite.

 

[joseywales]

I’m ahead of you on most of this. I put out pretzel nuggets, sticks, small finger items. And items that cause dry crumbs, easy clean up. We break for pizza, so it’s only dessert and snacks that could be an issue. I have no room for side tables.

Some say cover up, but I have an 8 foot pool table as well. Sure, I can put a cover on it, but I don’t want anyone laying anything on there, cover or no. Now, no one has and I think it’s helped bring attention to other items.

I have one table that’s like a pizza shop table, can’t hurt that. My other surface is a stone top, you could cook on that! My liquor cabinet/server is nice. We don’t really “use” it on game night, but when guys are standing around eating, they are tempted to put a drink on it.

I had used a folding table for pizza and if I go back to that, it opens up the other table for bottles, etc., so I’ll try that.

 

[joseywales]

Last game I hosted, I had a guy who brought Doritos (perfectly fine) and kept bringing a handful from the snack table and setting them directly on the felt. He had to reach over plates and napkins to get to the Doritos. At least he’d wipe his fingers on his pants before handling cards and chips?

No Doritos in the same zip code on poker night!

 

[davin]

I host a small social game. Same group each game. I swear it’s like their brains shut down when they walk in the door. BTW, we’re not playing in my garage. It’s a first floor game room.

One guy says, “can I put my cake plate down on the table, while I look at my cards?” Me, “sure, if you want tonight to be your last night here.” Now, I know I shouldn’t serve cake, but when my wife offers to make her eclair cake, no one says no. The next day, I told her, finger foods/desserts only.

An hour later, the same guy puts his beer down on top of my nice wooden server. I rush in with a coaster and say, “you really do want this to be your last night don’t you?” He’s a very nice guy and just isn’t thinking. There is a coast RIGHT FRIGGIN THERE!!! Jesus!

Another guy, trying to help while I’m in a hand, he puts a serving tray on the same wooden server. WTH??? It’s very nice wood and there have been many other times that guys put bottles on it. I would stick a bottle in my pocket, before placing it on a wooden surface, ANY wooden surface.

These guys aren’t bikers, they’re corporate types. In fact, that might be the problem. Many years ago, I managed auto service shops and there was one tech who was divorced. He had long hair and was sleeved with tattoos. His bike chrome was immaculate. I went to his house once and not only was it clean, he had folded all of the kids laundry, placed neatly. Go figure...

It distracts me from the game sometimes. I’m adjusting some hosting techniques, etc. And will make a general housekeeping announcement that will hopefully sink in.

Rant over.

I'm in ur same shoes, I get so iritated, esp when I put out a cigarette bucket an still end up with cig butts in driveway

 

[surferb]

Thats why I play at someone elses place

 

[GenghisKhan]

Buy some kind of rubber mat similar to a bar mat to cover the wood side tables. Some websites offer custom sizes and custom logos/wording.

I just googled bar mat and got this as an example:
https://www.barproducts.com/bar-owners/bar-mats

Just check to make sure said rubber cannot stain the wood if left there for long periods.

Good luck.

 

[joseywales]

@GenghisKhan thanks. I actually have a few square and rectangular bar mats. As you say, I'm not sure i want them on my wood cabinet. I might just lay a dark towel over it. I think adding another table will help.

I accept wear/tear when entertaining, just trying to prevent abuse.

 

[XBobdog]

I don't know why people need to eat while playing cards. Drinking I get.

 

[upNdown]

I don't know why people need to eat while playing cards. Drinking I get.

YES!!!!
I'm with you 100%!
I know lots of people here like to do the poker dinner party. Not my thing, but all I can say is keep it separate.
As far as this specific post goes, you can't serve cake while people are playing cards. You just can't. And you know that. If people putting their drinks down on surfaces is going to tilt you, you need to cover the surfaces or litter the area with coasters. As a host, you need to expect the worst, and set things up to minimize the likelihood of the worst, right? But as trihonda pointed out above, giving people rules won't help things. You need to take actual measures. Maybe that means hosting in the garage?

 

[joseywales]

YES!!!!
I'm with you 100%!
I know lots of people here like to do the poker dinner party. Not my thing, but all I can say is keep it separate.
As far as this specific post goes, you can't serve cake while people are playing cards. You just can't. And you know that. If people putting their drinks down on surfaces is going to tilt you, you need to cover the surfaces or litter the area with coasters. As a host, you need to expect the worst, and set things up to minimize the likelihood of the worst, right? But as trihonda pointed out above, giving people rules won't help things. You need to take actual measures. Maybe that means hosting in the garage?

Nah. Not going to the garage. I think littering with coasters will help though. I have 2,000 Coors coasters and bought them last year for this reason. My wife thought i was nuts, but i also bought cups with lids/straws for soft drinks. I guess placing them in a nice holders around the room isn't working. I was trying to walk that line between nice atmosphere and herding cats. Note: my wife might have had a point, as I've never used the cups.

Maybe I put their names on their coaster!

I like to offer baked goods, because my family likes baking for the game and to be fair, I'm surprised that I haven't had more issues. Folks rarely bring food to the table and it's mostly been candy or pretzel nuggets. I hate to punish all for the sins of a few. We do that at work sometimes (to our customers) and I always object.

It's funny. I always have to snack when drinking, but when I'm playing I don't snack.

 

[Jeff]

It is surprising how many people treat your house like a bar or a casino when they come over. They don’t pick up their trash and bottles, spill liquids anywhere and put wet stuff on wood, drop food on carpet and step on it. And then just ignore it. I don’t want to get started about the bathroom.

I have huge trash cans. Bottle bucket and recycle bin. Paper towels. Real towels.

At least several times a night that I host, I go around and pick/clean up during the game like a waiter.

Bad form.

 

[joseywales]

I think part of it is that they don't want to miss any of the game. I have two recycle cans for bottles. One is right next to the fridge: put one, take one, SIMPLE.

 

[MatB]

I don't know why people need to eat while playing cards. Drinking I get.

because 7 to 12 hours of poker is a Loooong time to not eat something.

Not sure what time release suppository @upNdown is using, but i need to ingest some sustenance after about 6 or 7 hours of card playing.

 

[justsomedude]

Last game I hosted, I had a guy who brought Doritos (perfectly fine) and kept bringing a handful from the snack table and setting them directly on the felt. He had to reach over plates and napkins to get to the Doritos. At least he’d wipe his fingers on his pants before handling cards and chips?

WTF???

OK. Maybe I'm an asshole host - but if a player put Doritos directly on one of my tables, they'd get called out immediately. I'm not running a g*d damn sawdust joint...

 

[MatB]

And to the OP, if your ok with people drinking at your games, but then you give them food that requires plates.
I dont know how particular you can be about where things get put down etc.

think of it like a family dinner or gathering, you wouldn't say to your 90 year old granny, "Hey ! watch where you put that plate... you want this to be your last family get together?"

 

[upNdown]

because 7 to 12 hours of poker is a Loooong time to not eat something.

Not sure what time release suppository @upNdown is using, but i need to ingest some sustenance after about 6 or 7 hours of card playing.

Beer has a lot of calories.

 

[MatB]

WTF???

OK. Maybe I'm an asshole host - but if a player put Doritos directly on one of my tables, they'd get called out immediately. I'm not running a g*d damn sawdust joint...

I am absolutely bringing Dorritos to Denver.

 

[ruskba]

WTF???

OK. Maybe I'm an asshole host - but if a player put Doritos directly on one of my tables, they'd get called out immediately. I'm not running a g*d damn sawdust joint...

I must have been extra distracted because I didn’t even notice until he had already done it a few times. Luckily it was on my old table, and it’s not like it won’t vacuum right out. Also I was already on the fence about not inviting him back, so that might just have sealed the deal.

 

[CraigT78]

I don't know why people need to eat while playing cards. Drinking I get.

After 8 hours of (drinking) cards I hope my players eat something

 

[timinater]

How has nobody posted this...?

 

[krafticus]

I guess I have to admit, I am a tad confused....

Why put out items that you don't want near your tables/furniture? Why put out items that could leave a mess?

Maybe I am just not as OCD

 

[AWenger]

One guy says, “can I put my cake plate down on the table, while I look at my cards?” Me, “sure, if you want tonight to be your last night here.”

I had a guy who brought Doritos (perfectly fine) and kept bringing a handful from the snack table and setting them directly on the felt.

Maybe the player at @ruskba's game knew about @joseywales's no plates on the poker table rule, and thought he figured out a way around it. Angle shooter.

 

[ekricket]

Maybe the player at @ruskba's game knew about @joseywales's no plates on the poker table rule, and thought he figured out a way around it. Angle shooter.

Reminds me of an old joke.

"I'm pretty damn sure I don't want no fucking mashed potatoes."

 

[joseywales]

I guess I have to admit, I am a tad confused....

Why put out items that you don't want near your tables/furniture? Why put out items that could leave a mess?

Maybe I am just not as OCD

Should I just have a beer troth, where players can belly up for a mouthful of Yager? That’s it! And I could lay bounty chips at the bottom, so hey could bobb to eliminate players.

I get what you’re saying and only had cake once or twice. I would never offer Doritos.

Not sure there’s a way to avoid beer bottles. Heck, I have really nice beer glasses that fit in my table, but I don’t think anyone wants to be away from the table long enough to pour a glass of beer. This concern for time is evident by the dry hand towel in the bathroom

 

[Anthony Martino]

It's because people are fucking slobs. I see it at my work too. You get the jackasses that just keep overstuffing the garbage cans with trash instead of emptying it to the dumpster, cause they're fucking lazy. They're used to being picked up after by their moms or something and never learned to clean up after themselves. Now I'm tilted thinking about it!