Was this wrong? (1 Viewer)

trever

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So, last night we're playing the post-tournament cash game and round about midnight I notice water leaking into the host's basement.

We take a quick look at his sump (dead) and ask if we can do anything to help cleanup. Our host is dropping ear-blistering profane rants, but doesn't ask for any help.

We offer to help a couple more times, but none is requested.

We really weren't sure what to do, but it is a really good cash game....

So we played on without him.
 
Are you asking if you should have told him? His tomorrow was ruined for sure, and now you ruined his evening too.
 
My feeling is: you help if he has something you can do to help. If not, play on!
 
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Host chose to turn down players' help offered multiple times. Keep playing but be prepared to cash out prematurely in case host ends the game to be able to deal with the issue properly...

Regarding pondering whether you should have told him or not, I definitely would have said something too. Yes, you might have ruined his night in addition to his tomorrow, but consider what damage the additional leakage until the next day could have done which you maybe helped to prevent from happening..
 
Even if there was nothing I could do to actually help, I would have stopped playing, in sympathy.
It's not a public room, you 're supposed to have some, even distant, relationship with the person who invited you.
I would apologise for having continued playing, but again, social standards may be different from one country to another.
 
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Before yesterday I would have said it was wrong, but now...play on my friend. I'm that neighbor that the neighbors call when they have floods, leaks, need help with cars, etc. ALWAYS more than willing to help out because it's the right thing to do.

Last year my neighbor's wife comes running into my basement while I'm hosting a game and says their basement is flooded. I leave my game, grab my shop vac, head on over and spend the next 3+ hours vacuuming up water in his basement, pulling back carpet, and helping him set up fans so it drys out. We're a close group of neighbors and friends (or so I thought until yesterday).

Yesterday I'm heading out with my wife and I see my neighbor aerating his yard. No big deal except for the fact that 7 or 8 of us have rented an aerator for the weekend for the past 10 years, and pass it from one neighbor to another. Well...my shit bag neighbor decided that he and 1 other neighbor (maybe 2) would go ahead and rent an aerator and use it amongst themselves without informing the other 5 or 6 of us. The irony is, I know shit head will be over at some point to borrow my grass seed spreader because he doesn't own one.

ANYWAY. This had nothing to do with your situation. I've just been stewing about it for a day and needed to vent...LOL!!:D

Okay...changed my mind...it was wrong. I suspect you feel bad about it, so go buy him a 12 pack of his favorite beer next weekend, swing by, and tell him you hope everything worked out with his basement.
 
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Before yesterday I would have said it was wrong, but now...play on my friend. I'm that neighbor that the neighbors call when they have floods, leaks, need help with cars, etc. ALWAYS more than willing to help out because it's the right thing to do.

Last year my neighbor's wife comes running into my basement while I'm hosting a game and says their basement is flooded. I leave my game, grab my shop vac, head on over and spend the next 3+ hours vacuuming up water in his basement, pulling back carpet, and helping him set up fans so it drys out. We're a close group of neighbors and friends (or so I thought until yesterday).

Yesterday I'm heading out with my wife and I see my neighbor aerating his yard. No big deal except for the fact that 7 or 8 of us have rented an aerator for the weekend for the past 10 years, and pass it from one neighbor to another. Well...my shit bag neighbor decided that he and 1 other neighbor (may 2) would go ahead and rent an aerator and use it amongst themselves without informing the other 5 or 6 of us. The irony is, I know shit head will be over at some point to borrow my grass seed spreader because he doesn't own one.

ANYWAY. This had nothing to do with your situation. I've just been stewing about it for a day and needed to vent...LOL!!:D

Okay...changed my mind...it was wrong. I suspect you feel bad about it, so go buy him a 12 pack of his favorite beer next weekend, swing by, and tell him you hope everything worked out with his basement.
You're a good man, Charlie Brown.
 
Yeah there's no way I'm not jumping in there to help at least a little, even if just to hold a flashlight, anyone whose gone out of their way to host deserves a hand in a situation like this. And if he really wanted to be left alone to deal with it himself, I'm packing up and heading out.
 
I'm not even slightly mechanically inclined, but I could not have continued playing. Whether I'm holding a flashlight, running to a store to grab a new sump, or simply calming down the host by grabbing the shop vac and handing him a beer, I couldn't continue playing during that.

To put in perspective, my toilet broke during my game with 20+ people. One guy took apart the toilet, one drove to Home Depot to get the part, and I directed traffic to another bathroom. Granted, 15 of the 20 people just kept playing, but I had enough help, and while it wasn't expected, it was certainly appreciated. Hosting is hard work, and that type of event makes it even harder.
 
Yeah there's no way I'm not jumping in there to help at least a little, even if just to hold a flashlight, anyone whose gone out of their way to host deserves a hand in a situation like this. And if he really wanted to be left alone to deal with it himself, I'm packing up and heading out.

^This. In my opinion it was wrong not to help, and if I was the host and this happened to me at my game, I'd surely remember those that didn't lift a finger to help.
 
I think there is a big difference between not lifting a finger and not caring, and not lifting a finger after having offered help.

This might just be me -- but if I was in that host's situation, were offered help and I decline it, I expect people to respect that and not pester me with continued offers of help. This just distracts me and prevents me from getting stuff done. If, further in, I discover I actually do need help, then I can always get back to those who previously offered help. So, in this spirit, I will offer my help exactly one single time and then shut up. If the offer is not accepted then so be it.
 
It's obvious there are cultural differences across the world.
A Greek saying goes that "it's one thing just offering someone dinner (ie without really meaning it, just out of being polite) and it's another thing actually pulling the man from his sleeves to have him sit at your table" (ie when you really mean it):) (the man is supposed to keep saying "no thanks" out of being polite):LOL: :laugh:
In my culture you 're supposed to say initially "no" to any offering, in order not to show greed yourself, and to see if there's a second-time offering, ie a genuine one.:rolleyes:
 
It's obvious there are cultural differences across the world.
A Greek saying goes that "it's one thing just offering someone dinner (ie without really meaning it, just out of being polite) and it's another thing actually pulling the man from his sleeves to have him sit at your table" (ie when you really mean it):) (the man is supposed to keep saying "no thanks" out of being polite):LOL: :laugh:
In my culture you 're supposed to say initially "no" to any offering, in order not to show greed yourself, and to see if there's a second-time offering, ie a genuine one.:rolleyes:

Having grown up in an area with a substantial Italian population, I quickly learned the futility of declining a meal from an Italian mother (they don't quite under the words "I just ate" lol). However I don't think this fits into that category, IMHO this is more a case of courtesy. There's no way this would have happened with any of the groups I play with, and given @MegaTon44 's glorious example, there are plenty of places here in the good ol' US where the reaction would have been much different.
 

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