Updated Rounders?

BGinGA

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Rounders is on TV tonight, so naturally had to tune in. This movie is approaching 20 years old (released in 1998 !!), and man, Matt Damon is just a kid.

I think it's time for a redo. Best entertainment-based approach might be to recast Matt, but meld the Jason Bourne character into the plot. Just imagine him putting a serious ass-kicking on that room of angry cops..... :D
 

legend672

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Idiot cops with no cut card in use ? . They also would never let him walk out with the full amount at the chesterfield.
 

Blaster

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I had posted this "hypothetical" Rounders II plot I made up, about 8 yrs ago on CT:

"ROUNDERS II MiriMax Films:
" It's years later .... Mike (narrating), explains how he did make some money in 'Vegas for a while, but the Poker boom of the mid 2000's, & all the droves of players wanting to be the next MoneyMaker, made the variance & finding the sweet games too much for him, so he quit again ...
Out of nowhere he gets a call. It's his old law professor Petrofsky , telling Mike he's in deep trouble, both monitarily, & due to an old legal misjudgement ....
Mike owes everything to Petrofsky, & knows what he needs to do. He needs to track down Worm, who he hasn't seen in years, Knish ,& his old girlfriend/lawyer Jo, for what may be the biggest con ever pulled, & keep Petrofsky in the dark as to how he's going to help him ... & in the process, Mike realizes that KGB will have to be part of his plan, & that he still has feelings for Jo ... "
 

biglazy

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I would like to see a sequel rather than a reboot especially if it can touch on some of the aspects of poker away from the table that have popped up over the last 15 years that werent a thing when rounders was made.

I also think that if you really look at all the decisions mike makes in that movie, it doesnt make sense to think he went to vegas, won a few bracelets, and has just been living a good life as he grows and grows his bank roll while making good decision after good decision.

My guess is he would have gotten swept up in the poker boom, won a bracelet or two, wrote a somewhat generic strategy book, helped start up one of the many online poker rooms, lost money on that, got caught up in playing all the big televised cash games and tourneys where he doesnt do nearly as good as he would have if he was playing the non pro whales in vegas cash games.

So when the movie starts instead of him rummaging through his kind of crappy nyc apartment to pull his 30k bankroll together while giving voice over, this time he is narrating a quasi recap of his last 15 years as his character rushes around his pretty nice modern vegas home as he tries to hide his 300k bankroll before the feds/irs/whoever bust down his door because of some legal problem stemming from stuff his business partners did probably connected to the previously mention poker website.

So plot plot plot, he calls jo for the legal help, plot plot plot, cameo by johnny chan again and maybe doyle brunson, plot plot plot big cash game similar to when the corporation took on Andy beale except this andy beale type character is shady AF and the results of the game will determine Mikes fate.

More plot plot plot and Worm shows up in the climax of the movie as a dealer at the casino where the big cash game is taking place and somehow sacrifices himself to get the shady big bad in trouble which gets mikey out of trouble and worm ends up back in jail playing for smokes but is happy cause he has redeemed himself and is back doing what he loves and mike is free and clear and is back with 3 stacks of ... Higher society? I have no idea was 300k would be called.

Also kannish is dead from some common illness whic mike laments at some point and no one knows what happened to KGB cause thats how the russian mob works. I dont know why but i feel like you cant have that much time pass and everyone from the previous movie has progressed positively in their life unless it is supposed to be a comedy or feel good movie.
 

Darson

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I just rewatched Rounders this weekend with the commentary from Johnny Chan, Chris Hellmuth, Chris Moneymaker and Chris “Jesus” Ferguson. It was fun to hear them basically saying "I wouldn't do that" all the way through the movie.
 

Kain8

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The thing that bugs me the most about the movie is that he puts 30k in play because he needs to roll up a stake to go to Vegas. Yet, in the end, he has his 30K back and now it's suddenly plenty for going to Vegas with.
You just wrecked Rounders for me by saying that. It's just like Amy ruining Raiders of the Lost Ark for Sheldon. You're a terrible monster and may you forever find rocks in your shoes! :p
 

Beakertwang

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I think it's time for a redo. Best entertainment-based approach might be to recast Matt, but meld the Jason Bourne character into the plot. Just imagine him putting a serious ass-kicking on that room of angry cops..... :D
He calls every hand at the judge’s game, then says, incredulously, “why would I know that?”
 

ohio3302016

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How about a European version...

EuroRounders

Michel (voiceover): "If you can't find the boorish American hold'em player at the table within half an hour, you are the boorish American hold'em player."

-----

TITLE/CREDITS. This entire movie is in black and white, with subtitles.

-----

Michel (voiceover): "This game is really scummy, and well above what I can afford to play. My entire bankroll is riding on this one session going well. This is Teddy CIA's place, where they only play Pot Limit Omaha, the most sophisticated game in Europe."

- Michel knocks on the window -

Teddy CIA: "You want poker, or whore?"

Michel: "Poker. Give me three stacks of high, elitist society."

-----

Michel: "I raise."

Teddy CIA: "It's a position raise. I call."

- The flop comes 5-7-A, with two diamonds -

Michel: "I bet the pot."

Teddy CIA: "I raise the pot."

Michel: "I reraise the pot."

Teddy CIA: "I reraise the pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel (voiceover): "I sit back and think. I have three aces - the best possible hand. I want him to think I'm debating a call, but really I'm just thinking about Monte Carlo, and whatever the [censored] is in Monte Carlo."

Michel: *shrugs* "Okay, well, I re-pot it, I'm all in, because I don't think you have a pair." *winks at the camera*

Teddy CIA: "Who are you winking at? It doesn't matter, I call."

Michel (voiceover): "I know before he even says it."

Teddy CIA: "I have 8-6-4-3 with two diamonds, for a wrap straight draw and a flush draw, which is a favorite over your top set."

- Turn is a King. River is a 2 which gives Teddy CIA an ace-to-five straight for the win. -

- Michel sits there, shell-shocked. -

Joey Croissant: "Come on, I'll get you a whore."

-----

Michel (voiceover): "Well, that sucked. Since then, I've sworn off of poker and made my living as a roadside prostitute for boorish American tourists. Hopefully, I can pay my way through law school that way. I can always find games, though. I could turn this truck onto the road and be at the Taj in 19 and a half hours."

-----

Michel (voiceover): "I'm here to pick my friend Worm up from prison."

- Worm walks out of prison -

Michel: "Worm! It's wonderful to see you!"

- They kiss each other passionately on the mouth -

Michel: "How was prison?"

Worm: "I was brutally sodomized on a regular basis."

-----

Michel: "Look...Croissant, I never told you this, but about a year ago, I was playing poker at the Casino des Atlantes, and Marcel Luske walks in. He sits down at the 50/100 pot limit game. And, I mean, the whole place stops, right? Just watching this guy play. After a while there isn't a retarded European gambling game going, because everybody's just, you know, watching this guy."

- Joey Croissant nods -

Michel: "So you know what I did? I sat down."

Joey Croissant: "No way, you need at least 300,000 euros to sit down at a game like that. Such bad financial management is typical of a boorish American!"

- Joey Croissant and Michel laugh for twenty-six minutes -

Michel: "Right, okay, but seriously, I played for an hour, doing nothing but folding. Then I won a huge pot."

Joey Croissant: "Aces? Kings? Ace-King doublesuited? Suited aces? High connectors? Middle doublesuited connectors? Two big pair?"

Michel: "Rags."

Joey Croissant: "That's probably fine too, you're only like a 48/52 dog."

Michel: "I raised. And he came over the top of me, like I was a boorish American. I re-popped it. He potted it again. I think for like two seconds and then I re-pot it."

Joey Croissant: "Jesus [censored] Christ, how much money did you have?"

Michel: "After I bet I would quietly slide my chips back toward my stack, nobody noticed. Anyway, he thinks for a while, looks at me, checks his cards again, and he mucks. I take it down. And then he looks at me and says, 'I have to know. Did you have it?' And I said, 'I'm sorry Marcel, I can't remember.'"

Joey Croissant: "Face!"

Michel: "I know, totally. Anyway, based on that one hand, I felt confident gambling for all the money I had, at one time."

-----

Law Professor: "I am a Jew."

Michel: "I hate you."

-----

Teddy CIA: "We play, heads up, Pot Limit Omaha, 25 and 50 blinds, until one of us has it all?"

Michel: "Out of sheer curiosity, you realize you're giving up like boat loads of equity by agreeing to gamble for money that's effectively yours anyway, right? That you could just not let me play, and then kill me and take what I have?"

Teddy CIA: "I know, but I am a boorish American!"

- Michel and Teddy CIA laugh for seventy-two minutes -

-----

Michel (voiceover): "I pick up Ace-Ace-Jack-Ten doublesuited."

Michel: "I raise the pot."

Teddy CIA: "Very aggressive. But, I reraise the pot."

Michael (voiceover): "He's representing Ace-Ace-King-King doublesuited, the only hand better than mine. I can't call, and give him a chance to catch. I can only fold...if I believe him."

Michel: "I reraise, I'm all in."

Teddy CIA: "Take it down."

-----

- The flop reads 10-9-5, with two spades -

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot. I'm all in."

Teddy CIA: "Alright, I call. What do you have?"

Michel: "Jack high flush draw and middle set."

Teddy CIA: "Wrap, with a king high flush draw."

Michel: "Boy, I sure hope my 5:4 edge holds up, otherwise I am going to die."

- Turn is an off-suit 5, giving Michel an unbeatable hand. But the river is the ace of spades anyway, because it's always the [censored] ace of spades. -

Teddy CIA: "He beat me. Pay that man his money. His silly, silly-looking European money."

-----

Cab Driver: "Where are you off to?"

Michel: "Monte Carlo."

Cab Driver: "Good luck."

Michel: "Shut the [censored] up."
 

justsomedude

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The thing that bugs me the most about the movie is that he puts 30k in play because he needs to roll up a stake to go to Vegas. Yet, in the end, he has his 30K back and now it's suddenly plenty for going to Vegas with.
He's back to $30k, but minus the girlfriend. That's +EV. :p

A wise man once said, "In the poker game of life, women are the rake."
 

Kain8

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How about a European version...

EuroRounders

Michel (voiceover): "If you can't find the boorish American hold'em player at the table within half an hour, you are the boorish American hold'em player."

-----

TITLE/CREDITS. This entire movie is in black and white, with subtitles.

-----

Michel (voiceover): "This game is really scummy, and well above what I can afford to play. My entire bankroll is riding on this one session going well. This is Teddy CIA's place, where they only play Pot Limit Omaha, the most sophisticated game in Europe."

- Michel knocks on the window -

Teddy CIA: "You want poker, or whore?"

Michel: "Poker. Give me three stacks of high, elitist society."

-----

Michel: "I raise."

Teddy CIA: "It's a position raise. I call."

- The flop comes 5-7-A, with two diamonds -

Michel: "I bet the pot."

Teddy CIA: "I raise the pot."

Michel: "I reraise the pot."

Teddy CIA: "I reraise the pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel (voiceover): "I sit back and think. I have three aces - the best possible hand. I want him to think I'm debating a call, but really I'm just thinking about Monte Carlo, and whatever the [censored] is in Monte Carlo."

Michel: *shrugs* "Okay, well, I re-pot it, I'm all in, because I don't think you have a pair." *winks at the camera*

Teddy CIA: "Who are you winking at? It doesn't matter, I call."

Michel (voiceover): "I know before he even says it."

Teddy CIA: "I have 8-6-4-3 with two diamonds, for a wrap straight draw and a flush draw, which is a favorite over your top set."

- Turn is a King. River is a 2 which gives Teddy CIA an ace-to-five straight for the win. -

- Michel sits there, shell-shocked. -

Joey Croissant: "Come on, I'll get you a whore."

-----

Michel (voiceover): "Well, that sucked. Since then, I've sworn off of poker and made my living as a roadside prostitute for boorish American tourists. Hopefully, I can pay my way through law school that way. I can always find games, though. I could turn this truck onto the road and be at the Taj in 19 and a half hours."

-----

Michel (voiceover): "I'm here to pick my friend Worm up from prison."

- Worm walks out of prison -

Michel: "Worm! It's wonderful to see you!"

- They kiss each other passionately on the mouth -

Michel: "How was prison?"

Worm: "I was brutally sodomized on a regular basis."

-----

Michel: "Look...Croissant, I never told you this, but about a year ago, I was playing poker at the Casino des Atlantes, and Marcel Luske walks in. He sits down at the 50/100 pot limit game. And, I mean, the whole place stops, right? Just watching this guy play. After a while there isn't a retarded European gambling game going, because everybody's just, you know, watching this guy."

- Joey Croissant nods -

Michel: "So you know what I did? I sat down."

Joey Croissant: "No way, you need at least 300,000 euros to sit down at a game like that. Such bad financial management is typical of a boorish American!"

- Joey Croissant and Michel laugh for twenty-six minutes -

Michel: "Right, okay, but seriously, I played for an hour, doing nothing but folding. Then I won a huge pot."

Joey Croissant: "Aces? Kings? Ace-King doublesuited? Suited aces? High connectors? Middle doublesuited connectors? Two big pair?"

Michel: "Rags."

Joey Croissant: "That's probably fine too, you're only like a 48/52 dog."

Michel: "I raised. And he came over the top of me, like I was a boorish American. I re-popped it. He potted it again. I think for like two seconds and then I re-pot it."

Joey Croissant: "Jesus [censored] Christ, how much money did you have?"

Michel: "After I bet I would quietly slide my chips back toward my stack, nobody noticed. Anyway, he thinks for a while, looks at me, checks his cards again, and he mucks. I take it down. And then he looks at me and says, 'I have to know. Did you have it?' And I said, 'I'm sorry Marcel, I can't remember.'"

Joey Croissant: "Face!"

Michel: "I know, totally. Anyway, based on that one hand, I felt confident gambling for all the money I had, at one time."

-----

Law Professor: "I am a Jew."

Michel: "I hate you."

-----

Teddy CIA: "We play, heads up, Pot Limit Omaha, 25 and 50 blinds, until one of us has it all?"

Michel: "Out of sheer curiosity, you realize you're giving up like boat loads of equity by agreeing to gamble for money that's effectively yours anyway, right? That you could just not let me play, and then kill me and take what I have?"

Teddy CIA: "I know, but I am a boorish American!"

- Michel and Teddy CIA laugh for seventy-two minutes -

-----

Michel (voiceover): "I pick up Ace-Ace-Jack-Ten doublesuited."

Michel: "I raise the pot."

Teddy CIA: "Very aggressive. But, I reraise the pot."

Michael (voiceover): "He's representing Ace-Ace-King-King doublesuited, the only hand better than mine. I can't call, and give him a chance to catch. I can only fold...if I believe him."

Michel: "I reraise, I'm all in."

Teddy CIA: "Take it down."

-----

- The flop reads 10-9-5, with two spades -

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot. I'm all in."

Teddy CIA: "Alright, I call. What do you have?"

Michel: "Jack high flush draw and middle set."

Teddy CIA: "Wrap, with a king high flush draw."

Michel: "Boy, I sure hope my 5:4 edge holds up, otherwise I am going to die."

- Turn is an off-suit 5, giving Michel an unbeatable hand. But the river is the ace of spades anyway, because it's always the [censored] ace of spades. -

Teddy CIA: "He beat me. Pay that man his money. His silly, silly-looking European money."

-----

Cab Driver: "Where are you off to?"

Michel: "Monte Carlo."

Cab Driver: "Good luck."

Michel: "Shut the [censored] up."

Post of the year!
 

bigdonkey

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You just wrecked Rounders for me by saying that. It's just like Amy ruining Raiders of the Lost Ark for Sheldon. You're a terrible monster and may you forever find rocks in your shoes! :p
Character progression. At the beginning of the movie Mike was a small-time gambler who was concerned with proper bankroll management so as not to go busto in Vegas. By the end of the movie Mike knew he could sit at The Big Game with two sticky quarters and some bubble gum he found in the taxi on the ride there, and bluff Doyle Brunson off of quad Aces. He just took the $30K 'cause he had it, maybe for hookers.
 

JustinInMN

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Jason Bateman - Mike
Will Arnett - Worm
Tony Hale - KGB
David Cross - Granma
Jessica Walter - Petrofsky
Charlize Theron - Jo
 

joepro

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I knew the guy who wrote Euro rounders, he was a great kid who passed away tragically. I still laugh out loud every time I read that.
 

Old State

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I had posted this "hypothetical" Rounders II plot I made up, about 8 yrs ago on CT:

"ROUNDERS II MiriMax Films:
" It's years later .... Mike (narrating), explains how he did make some money in 'Vegas for a while, but the Poker boom of the mid 2000's, & all the droves of players wanting to be the next MoneyMaker, made the variance & finding the sweet games too much for him, so he quit again ...
Out of nowhere he gets a call. It's his old law professor Petrofsky , telling Mike he's in deep trouble, both monitarily, & due to an old legal misjudgement ....
Mike owes everything to Petrofsky, & knows what he needs to do. He needs to track down Worm, who he hasn't seen in years, Knish ,& his old girlfriend/lawyer Jo, for what may be the biggest con ever pulled, & keep Petrofsky in the dark as to how he's going to help him ... & in the process, Mike realizes that KGB will have to be part of his plan, & that he still has feelings for Jo ... "
I still have feeling for Jo.
 

Lemonzest

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How about a European version...

EuroRounders

Michel (voiceover): "If you can't find the boorish American hold'em player at the table within half an hour, you are the boorish American hold'em player."

-----

TITLE/CREDITS. This entire movie is in black and white, with subtitles.

-----

Michel (voiceover): "This game is really scummy, and well above what I can afford to play. My entire bankroll is riding on this one session going well. This is Teddy CIA's place, where they only play Pot Limit Omaha, the most sophisticated game in Europe."

- Michel knocks on the window -

Teddy CIA: "You want poker, or whore?"

Michel: "Poker. Give me three stacks of high, elitist society."

-----

Michel: "I raise."

Teddy CIA: "It's a position raise. I call."

- The flop comes 5-7-A, with two diamonds -

Michel: "I bet the pot."

Teddy CIA: "I raise the pot."

Michel: "I reraise the pot."

Teddy CIA: "I reraise the pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel (voiceover): "I sit back and think. I have three aces - the best possible hand. I want him to think I'm debating a call, but really I'm just thinking about Monte Carlo, and whatever the [censored] is in Monte Carlo."

Michel: *shrugs* "Okay, well, I re-pot it, I'm all in, because I don't think you have a pair." *winks at the camera*

Teddy CIA: "Who are you winking at? It doesn't matter, I call."

Michel (voiceover): "I know before he even says it."

Teddy CIA: "I have 8-6-4-3 with two diamonds, for a wrap straight draw and a flush draw, which is a favorite over your top set."

- Turn is a King. River is a 2 which gives Teddy CIA an ace-to-five straight for the win. -

- Michel sits there, shell-shocked. -

Joey Croissant: "Come on, I'll get you a whore."

-----

Michel (voiceover): "Well, that sucked. Since then, I've sworn off of poker and made my living as a roadside prostitute for boorish American tourists. Hopefully, I can pay my way through law school that way. I can always find games, though. I could turn this truck onto the road and be at the Taj in 19 and a half hours."

-----

Michel (voiceover): "I'm here to pick my friend Worm up from prison."

- Worm walks out of prison -

Michel: "Worm! It's wonderful to see you!"

- They kiss each other passionately on the mouth -

Michel: "How was prison?"

Worm: "I was brutally sodomized on a regular basis."

-----

Michel: "Look...Croissant, I never told you this, but about a year ago, I was playing poker at the Casino des Atlantes, and Marcel Luske walks in. He sits down at the 50/100 pot limit game. And, I mean, the whole place stops, right? Just watching this guy play. After a while there isn't a retarded European gambling game going, because everybody's just, you know, watching this guy."

- Joey Croissant nods -

Michel: "So you know what I did? I sat down."

Joey Croissant: "No way, you need at least 300,000 euros to sit down at a game like that. Such bad financial management is typical of a boorish American!"

- Joey Croissant and Michel laugh for twenty-six minutes -

Michel: "Right, okay, but seriously, I played for an hour, doing nothing but folding. Then I won a huge pot."

Joey Croissant: "Aces? Kings? Ace-King doublesuited? Suited aces? High connectors? Middle doublesuited connectors? Two big pair?"

Michel: "Rags."

Joey Croissant: "That's probably fine too, you're only like a 48/52 dog."

Michel: "I raised. And he came over the top of me, like I was a boorish American. I re-popped it. He potted it again. I think for like two seconds and then I re-pot it."

Joey Croissant: "Jesus [censored] Christ, how much money did you have?"

Michel: "After I bet I would quietly slide my chips back toward my stack, nobody noticed. Anyway, he thinks for a while, looks at me, checks his cards again, and he mucks. I take it down. And then he looks at me and says, 'I have to know. Did you have it?' And I said, 'I'm sorry Marcel, I can't remember.'"

Joey Croissant: "Face!"

Michel: "I know, totally. Anyway, based on that one hand, I felt confident gambling for all the money I had, at one time."

-----

Law Professor: "I am a Jew."

Michel: "I hate you."

-----

Teddy CIA: "We play, heads up, Pot Limit Omaha, 25 and 50 blinds, until one of us has it all?"

Michel: "Out of sheer curiosity, you realize you're giving up like boat loads of equity by agreeing to gamble for money that's effectively yours anyway, right? That you could just not let me play, and then kill me and take what I have?"

Teddy CIA: "I know, but I am a boorish American!"

- Michel and Teddy CIA laugh for seventy-two minutes -

-----

Michel (voiceover): "I pick up Ace-Ace-Jack-Ten doublesuited."

Michel: "I raise the pot."

Teddy CIA: "Very aggressive. But, I reraise the pot."

Michael (voiceover): "He's representing Ace-Ace-King-King doublesuited, the only hand better than mine. I can't call, and give him a chance to catch. I can only fold...if I believe him."

Michel: "I reraise, I'm all in."

Teddy CIA: "Take it down."

-----

- The flop reads 10-9-5, with two spades -

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot. I'm all in."

Teddy CIA: "Alright, I call. What do you have?"

Michel: "Jack high flush draw and middle set."

Teddy CIA: "Wrap, with a king high flush draw."

Michel: "Boy, I sure hope my 5:4 edge holds up, otherwise I am going to die."

- Turn is an off-suit 5, giving Michel an unbeatable hand. But the river is the ace of spades anyway, because it's always the [censored] ace of spades. -

Teddy CIA: "He beat me. Pay that man his money. His silly, silly-looking European money."

-----

Cab Driver: "Where are you off to?"

Michel: "Monte Carlo."

Cab Driver: "Good luck."

Michel: "Shut the [censored] up."
This is hysterical. I love it.
 
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@ohio3302016 , that shit had me laughing so hard it eventually started to hurt....absolutely brilliant. Please find someone in film and make that a short, it's solid gold and at lease in the poker community around the world it will be a block buster. SO DAMN FUNNY:ROFL: :ROFLMAO::ROFL: :ROFLMAO::ROFL: :ROFLMAO::ROFL: :ROFLMAO::ROFL: :ROFLMAO::wtf::dead:
 

Lil Tuna

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The scene where she's coming on to Mike always bothered me. If someone like that is showing that kind of interest I don't care if my buddy got 100 dimes deep, I'm going to enjoy her company a bit and worry about the money later.
The dimes can definitely wait. Maybe Mike could have shaved off a few dimes if he was really good. :sneaky: Just saying!
 

bivey

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You guys are creative. Reading this is almost better than a Rounders sequel or reboot which is bound to be disappointing.
 
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