Giveaway Tell me a joke, win a 10k SST!

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FortyMorty

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A guy walks into a bar, the sign behind the bar reads:

Cheese sandwich $2
Hand job $5

The guy looks at a woman behind the bar and asks “ are you the gal who gives the hand jobs?” She replies “yes” The guy quickly replies “ go wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich!”

A6C47F51-647E-4CA9-A014-DA74BB532C47.jpeg


The giveaway consists of the 600 chips shown here. It is two of the sets listed below minus the 50s.

FD8124FE-E577-43BB-8CD8-945987846AEC.jpeg

Just reply with a joke or meme and you will be entered to win. A randomizer will be used to determine a six handed hold’em table where the winner will get the chips shipped to them for free anywhere in the world. The joke or meme that I find the funniest will win a sample set (TBD). Closing this Tuesday 2/9/2021 at 9 in the East.
 
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grebe

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A penguin is driving across the desert. He passes thru a small town and continues on....about a mile out of town, his car breaks down. "Ah geez", he says to himself. He noticed a garage on the way thru town, so he hops out of the car and waddles back into town towards the garage.

Upon arriving, he talks to the mechanic and explains his situation. Mechanic tells him no problem, he isn't busy and can go tow his car back and get on it right away! Penguin replies with his thanks, and let's mechanic know he was going to cool off at the ice cream parlor down the street (I mean, he's a penguin in the desert, am I right???).

So off the penguin waddles down the street to the ice cream parlor. He orders the biggest sundae they have, takes it over and has a seat right under the air vent. He enjoys his feast, which hits the spot! Unfortunately, he makes a bit of a mess and gets ice cream all over himself and the table (he's a penguin....he just has the flippers). But, he cleans himself up as best he can and heads out the door back towards the garage.

Upon arrival, the mechanic rolls out from under the penguin's car, and exclaims "looks like you blew a seal"

Penguin sheepishly replies "ummm, no sir. It's just ice cream."

Where's my chips?
 

Chipnut

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
 

Beakertwang

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Dr. Bernard, a podiatrist, was surprised to walk into the exam room and see a moth sitting on the table.

“What seems to be the problem?” he asked.

The moth began to share. “I feel like my life is falling apart. My wife is leaving me, my kids despise me. I’m failing at my job. And there’s this voice in my head telling me I should just end it all. What should I do?”

“Look,” said Dr. Bernard, “I’m very sorry to hear about your struggles, but I’m a foot doctor. You need a psychiatrist. What are you doing here?”

The moth sighed deeply and sadly, the despair in his voice palpable. “The light was on.”
 

upNdown

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Dr. Bernard, a podiatrist, was surprised to walk into the exam room and see a moth sitting on the table.

“What seems to be the problem?” he asked.

The moth began to share. “I feel like my life is falling apart. My wife is leaving me, my kids despise me. I’m failing at my job. And there’s this voice in my head telling me I should just end it all. What should I do?”

“Look,” said Dr. Bernard, “I’m very sorry to hear about your struggles, but I’m a foot doctor. You need a psychiatrist. What are you doing here?”

The moth sighed deeply and sadly, the despair in his voice palpable. “The light was on.”
For Norm, it's all about the pointless build-up
 
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