Need help. Home game and people bailing last minute. (1 Viewer)

Mesnik44

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Hope you are well and thank you for reading this.

I most a monthly game, and sometimes throw in the odd cash game. I send invites out anywhere from 2 weeks to a month before the game night. I also send out the full year calendar of games at or near the start of the year. My problem is that I have one player who will R.S.V.P. right away and then bail the day of the tournament. By the time he bails it is too late to take the 1st person off the waitlist.

The one time he did this it really upset me as we were in the middle of a heatwave, and the invite email clearly stated that if we had 8 players we would play inside the air conditioned house. We had 9 players up to 1 hour before game time. Then 30 mins before he bails. Leaving 8 players sweating it out in the garage. We can't possibly fit 9 people in the house with our limited space. This really upset me at the time.

I did not invite him for the last 2 sessions because of his bailing behaviour. He texted me 2 days ago to ask when the next game was. I did not respond to his text. This is the other thing that pisses me off, I've already emailed the poker calendar to him. He constantly asks when games are. I used to run what I considered a very informative website for my poker league. All information was listed there, from schedule to rules to just about anything you needed to know about Hitmen Poker.

So my question...wwyd about this player and inviting to future games? I'm not overly concerned about filling the table because every game so far this year that I have hosted since my Province was allowed to have people over I've had a waitlist.


Tldr...player commits to game and bails last minute. WWYD?
 

Mojo1312

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I host a monthly game, and sometimes throw in the odd cash game. I send invites out anywhere from 2 weeks to a month before the game night. I also send out the full year calendar of games at or near the start of the year. My problem is that I have one player who will R.S.V.P. right away and then bail the day of the tournament. By the time he bails it is too late to take the 1st person off the waitlist.

The one time he did this it really upset me as we were in the middle of a heatwave, and the invite email clearly stated that if we had 8 players we would play inside the air conditioned house. We had 9 players up to 1 hour before game time. Then 30 mins before he bails. Leaving 8 players sweating it out in the garage. We can't possibly fit 9 people in the house with our limited space. This really upset me at the time.

I did not invite him for the last 2 sessions because of his bailing behaviour. He texted me 2 days ago to ask when the next game was. I did not respond to his text.

Tldr...player commits to game and bails last minute. WWYD?

Exactly what you have done.
 

WedgeRock

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We have a year-long points based league.

We award negative last place points for someone who cancels within 24 hours of the cards being dealt.

First place is 12-18 points depending on a few factors. Last place is usually 1 point, sometimes less. So negative last place points isn't going to kill you, but it does affect standings and if NCNS are repeated, it could be a steep hurdle that would discourage someone from participating the rest of the season.

Of course, if you don't do points, nevermind.
 

upNdown

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It sounds like he did this once? If it was really only once, I guess I’d have a talk with him and probably give him a second chance.
If he’s done it more than once, then screw him.
 

Chawks45

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The one time he did this ….

If it happened once, time to call the player on the carpet and have a talk on why bailing at the last minute outside of a good reason adversely affects the game and why such behavior could determine his/her future attendance. Hopefully, the player understands.

Ultimately, once is a fluke. Twice or more is a habit.

If the latter scenario applies, break the habit.
 

Taghkanic

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Idea: Invite him again, but if he says he’s coming, tell him he’s on the waiting list. If you need/want a player at the last minute, text him.

If he doesn’t show then, you’re no worse off and no one has lost a seat.

And that way you’re not prisoner to his flakiness, plus as a bonus he might get a sense of what it’s like to have that uncertainty. #karma
 

Highli99

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Ehhh....some people are flakes. If you grow your game you’ll be able to squeeze him out but until then it's just one of those things that you have to deal with. My advice is to try and not let it bother you and just know that this person’s unreliability is not about you and probably outside of their control. They probably no-show dentist appointments too.
 

WedgeRock

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They probably no-show dentist appointments too.

I have played poker in a dentist office. @mike32 was there.

tenor.gif
 

grebe

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Idea: Invite him again, but if he says he’s coming, tell him he’s on the waiting list. If you need/want a player at the last minute, text him.

If he doesn’t show then, you’re no worse off and no one has lost a seat.

And that way you’re not prisoner to his flakiness, plus as a bonus he might get a sense of what it’s like to have that uncertainty. #karma
Great advice here.
 

detroitdad

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I did not respond to his text.

This is an error on your part imo. You should have seen this as an opening to explain to him very clearly how unhappy you are with his attendance and last minute cancelations. Clearly explain why his last minute cancelations are bad for the group. Then tell him he is being dropped to the secondary invite list. That he will only get an invite the day before the game if there is an opening.

I have three waves of invites. The first 10 go to my most regulars, and the people that I enjoy hanging out with the most.

The key in this communication is being clear and concise. Don't beat around the bush, don't leave any "gray" areas, tell him exactly how its going to be. If he doesn't like that, then tell him to start fucking showing up for games when he commits.
 

Goldfish

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Welcome to hosting. Putting a game together is like…….
05949E8D-9F8C-4956-9F79-ADCAD69BDB5F.gif

I like the idea of putting him on the wait list. Every time he bails last minute start him 1 slot down on the wait list.
 

Highli99

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Welcome to hosting. Putting a game together is like…….
View attachment 794504
I like the idea of putting him on the wait list. Every time he bails last minute start him 1 slot down on the wait list.
Now try the same task except replace the kittens with wild squirrels, then you have it nailed
 

Mr Winberg

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First of all I would talk to him. Some people have no idea how these last minute bails affect the game and the amount of work you put in. Especially people who have never hosted anything similar themselves. It might be that he will get in line if you explain this to him? I have been in similar situations. Usually people react well to "the talk".

This one person didn't, he felt that I was "being too serious" with these poker nights. Fine, he has every right to feel that way. And I had every right to cut him from the list.
 

Poker Zombie

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+1 in the "talk to him" camp.

Over the years, I have had a few of these "superflakes". They think a poker game is like any other party or social gathering. One man down at a party is no big deal. You don't schedule a party around specifics like "chairs" or "chipstacks", so you just throw out invites with the expectation that most will show, but the exact number is unimportant.

Card rooms seem to also operate with little concern for the exact number of attendees that night. They just make due, and eventually, everyone gets a seat. This doesn't help the home-game host either.

So when I get these last-minute dropouts, I have to take them aside and explain that I'm not mad, but I preset the tournament chips based on number of players. This ensures I'm not rushed (rushed chipstacks lead to unfair errors), that I am not setting up stacks as someone is chatting with me (multitasking leads to unfair errors) and that I have time to socialize when people arrive.

The amount of chips we start with also varies, so we can end the tournament at a particular time. More players mean fewer chips to start. If some chips are removed from play because a player does not show, the whole group may be playing with fewer chips than we could if we knew they weren't going to attend. Thus, by you not showing unexpectedly, everyone has to go home sooner.

If they continue to flake, they go to the B-list.

I haven't reached out to my B-list in 4 years.
 

Pinesol13

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+1 in the "talk to him" camp.

Over the years, I have had a few of these "superflakes". They think a poker game is like any other party or social gathering. One man down at a party is no big deal. You don't schedule a party around specifics like "chairs" or "chipstacks", so you just throw out invites with the expectation that most will show, but the exact number is unimportant.

Card rooms seem to also operate with little concern for the exact number of attendees that night. They just make due, and eventually, everyone gets a seat. This doesn't help the home-game host either.

So when I get these last-minute dropouts, I have to take them aside and explain that I'm not mad, but I preset the tournament chips based on number of players. This ensures I'm not rushed (rushed chipstacks lead to unfair errors), that I am not setting up stacks as someone is chatting with me (multitasking leads to unfair errors) and that I have time to socialize when people arrive.

The amount of chips we start with also varies, so we can end the tournament at a particular time. More players mean fewer chips to start. If some chips are removed from play because a player does not show, the whole group may be playing with fewer chips than we could if we knew they weren't going to attend. Thus, by you not showing unexpectedly, everyone has to go home sooner.

If they continue to flake, they go to the B-list.

I haven't reached out to my B-list in 4 years.

Sometimes it feels like my entire group are B-listers :LOL: :laugh:
 

JScott

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I know this is old. But @Poker Zombie made a comment that applies to my game. I haven’t reached out to the b-list in over a year and always have enough players. Even last night with our short handed night, it was intentional.

My problem isn’t flakes, it’s assholes. If I don’t enjoy your company, you’re not invited regardless of how much of a fish you are.

I played a game a while ago that made me realize I don’t just love poker, but the social aspect. Because I’ve played in games with absolute cockwombles and would have rather been doing anything else.

Sorry op. This post helps you in no way. Haha
 

grantc54

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Since moving the game away from the indoor smoking venue I have more players than seats.

There is a huge demand for poker in the area at the moment (I expect this will eventually change), it's a good time to expand the poker list so that unteliable players are weeded out. I now have a list of people who really WANT to play, and so far everyone who has said they will show has shown. If someone bails within 24 hours of the game they go to the bottom of the list (without a good reason).

Funny enough I had one of my old regulars pop in for a game (after 3 years of not playing), and he knew 6 out of 18 players.
 

LotsOfChips

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The one time he did this it really upset me...
So this was a one-time infraction? Frustrating, but not the end of the world. A conversation to explain your expectations about committing then not showing, and why it is an issue may be in order. If it was a repeat occurance, then I would consider it a more serious thing.

I did not invite him for the last 2 sessions because of his bailing behaviour. He texted me 2 days ago to ask when the next game was.
Maybe his text was really a subtle request for an invite. He may have wondered why he didn't get an invite to a scheduled game, and him asking about the next game was a hint for an invite.

I did not respond to his text. This is the other thing that pisses me off, I've already emailed the poker calendar to him. He constantly asks when games are.
The fact that this also pissed you off makes me wonder if there are other issues at play here. If you are really upset with this player over only the two things mentioned above, then I wonder if you may be a little sensitive. But if there are other things that piss you off about this player (and it sounds like there are), and these two things are simply easily identifiable examples, then maybe you need to drop him from your player list entirely.

Tldr...player commits to game and bails last minute. WWYD?
If you like the player and want him to continue in your game, then have a conversation outlining your expectations. If you don't like the player and don't want him to continue in your game, then take him off the invite list entirely. But you should probably still explain to him that he is not on the list, otherwise expect another text asking when the next game is.
 
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