LIST OF FOODS THAT PROJECT POKER STRENGTH (2 Viewers)

[MrCatPants]

We all know you can't be loosey goosey, eating a sandwich. Accordingly, I am seeking a list of acceptable foods and unacceptable foods at the poker table. What foods project strength while eating it most at a poker table, and what foods project the most weakness?

I'll start.

S tier/most strength: Apple. You take a chunk out of it with your teeth while still making eye contact with your enemies, and they can see the resulting damage. Intimidating fruit.

A tier: Ice. Frozen water crunches, which causes hesitance in nearby players.

B tier: Shelled peanuts. Messy as f$%k. Projects a maniac image, which you can take advantage of. You have to crack them with your fingers, which shows both fine motor skills and knuckle strength - both key factors in peeking at cards over a long poker career.

C tier: Potato chips in a small bag. You have to make a weird claw to pluck individual chips out of the bag. It's a little froofy and should be avoided.

D tier: Trail mix. Too nutritious, makes it appear you care what you look like and aren't property prioritizing poker.

F tier: Hot tea. You slightly slurp/vacu-suck the first test sip in case it is hot, but that's the audio version of a donk bet out of position. The hot tea drinker gets raised every time.

 

[TheBigTater]

Is there any doubt

 

[MrCatPants]

Is there any doubt

View attachment 1033364

B tier.

 

[natumes]

Hot dogs. No bun. Dipped in a non ketchup sauce. Fancy mustard maybe. Sometimes hot sauce. At least half the weenie must go in your mouth at a time.

 

[Colquhoun]

Hot dogs. No bun. Dipped in a non ketchup sauce. Fancy mustard maybe. Sometimes hot sauce. At least half the weenie must go in your mouth at a time.

yeah, this might throw me off my game…

 

[timinater]

S tier/most strength: Apple. You take a chunk out of it with your teeth while still making eye contact with your enemies, and they can see the resulting damage. Intimidating fruit.

Came here to ensure this was ranked at the tippy top.

Oreos were a projection of both strength and weakness from KGB. A tell. For that reason I believe that DQ’s them from this discussion.

Edit: Can’t read. Oreos lean weak in my eyes though.

 

[JMC9389]

Coffee.

 

[MrCatPants]

Coffee.

Old man tier.

 

[MrCatPants]

A tier: Kabob, right off the skewer. Potential stabbings.

D tier: Banana peeled carefully.

B tier: Banana snapped in half and squeezed into your mouth.

B tier: Turkey leg. Would be upgradable if it was easily put down and wasn't sorta drippy.

 

[BamaT8ter]

S tier/most strength: A raw human liver.

A tier: Any liquid you drink from a cup fashioned out of a human skull.

B tier: Pickled pigs feet.

C tier: Beans. Let everyone know that if they want your money, they're going to have to endure a minefield of toxic vapors.

D tier: Spaghetti. Fuck your cards. Fuck your chips. Fuck your table. I'm here to make a mess.

F tier: Cookies. Foot-long hot dog.

 

[HughDrackman]

What about when Hellmuth totally housed that roast beef sandwich?

 

[bergs]

1) Mutton. But not cooked. Bring the lamb carcass to the table and just cut wide swaths of it out and eat it off the knife. Also, if you want to go full alpha gorilla, tell the other players that it was a family pet for 18 years until the boys at the pitch forgot the soccer ball earlier today.

2) Code Red Mountain Dew - because nobody actually drinks that shit. They’re gonna think it’s straight vodka with Gatorade Zero and you’ll drink so much if it that they’ll just assume you’re literally a god.

3) An entire rotisserie game hen, still in the package. And don’t bring silverware. It worked for Chicken Rob, he was a winning player.

4) Take a large turkey bone. Stick it in a shoe. Gnaw on it occasionally. If someone gets up and someone else asks “hey were did Bobby go” just hold up the leg in the shoe and gnaw on it and mumble “seat open, I guess”

5) A 3 lb uncooked chuck roast. You aren’t going to eat it. Just swing it at opposing players who 3! or 4! you.

 

[Josh Kifer]

You eat a Banana while they are pondering your all in....

 

[MrCatPants]

You eat a Banana while they are pondering your all in....

I already talked about bananas. FAIL

Also a proper noun banana?

 

[Josh Kifer]

I already talked about bananas. FAIL

Also a proper noun banana?

I don't read your trash before I post. I read the title, make my statement, and really don't care past that.

It's called "the process".

 

[MrCatPants]

What about when Hellmuth totally housed that roast beef sandwich?

He was all loosey goosey eating a sandwich.

 

[JMC9389]

S tier/most strength: A raw human liver.

A tier: Any liquid you drink from a cup fashioned out of a human skull.

B tier: Pickled pigs feet.

C tier: Beans. Let everyone know that if they want your money, they're going to have to endure a minefield of toxic vapors.

D tier: Spaghetti. Fuck your cards. Fuck your chips. Fuck your table. I'm here to make a mess.

F tier: Cookies. Foot-long hot dog.

What the fack you have against foot long hot dog sandwiches?

 

[BamaT8ter]

What the fack you have against foot long hot dog sandwiches?

Nothing. I also like cookies. Just neither is particularly intimidating at the poker table. (Hot dog could be under certain circumstances not present for me.)

 

[bergs]

He was all loosey goosey eating a sandwich.

This was great.

 

[Pinesol13]

S tier/most strength: Apple. You take a chunk out of it with your teeth while still making eye contact with your enemies, and they can see the resulting damage. Intimidating fruit.

I will never forget this description of an apple.....

 

[bergs]

I already talked about bananas. FAIL

Also a proper noun banana?

Oh, I see what happened here.

You know how in Rhode Island they call a coffee ice cream drink a “cabinet”.

Yes, people from Rhode Island have issues, but that’s not the point.

In Idaho, a “banana” is not a yellow curved fruit….I’ll leave you with that, you can Google the rest.

 

[bergs]

I will never forget this description of an apple.....

@JoseRijo freaked us out when night when he ate an entire apple. Fruit, seeds, core, stem. All of it. Like he was on that “Naked and Afraid” TV show.

We didn’t fear him though. We just thought he was slightly retarded.

 

[Josh Kifer]

Oh, I see what happened here.

You know how in Rhode Island they call a coffee ice cream drink a “cabinet”.

Yes, people from Rhode Island have issues, but that’s not the point.

In Idaho, a “banana” is not a yellow curved fruit….I’ll leave you with that, you can Google the rest.

Spoiler: Banana.

 

[bergs]

Jbutler and I were at Revel in AC playing poker with the Hot Dog King years ago. Hot Dog King decided to move to a bigger 2/5 game across the room.

We were drunk and being idiots so we ordered 25 hot dogs to be sent to him table side. They came in this ridicilous silver Carr with all these accoutrements, it was fucking hilarious.

The best moment was when Hot Dog King yelled over “thanks guys, I needed a snack” and then when people at the table asked for one, he told them to fuck off, they were bought for him and he was gonna finish them.

I think he got through about 15. HDK was a machine. He won some money over there too.

 

[bergs]

Spoiler: Banana.

View attachment 1033475

Technically any English word can be traced back in Idaho to the concept of a potato.

 

[Josh Kifer]

Technically any English word can be traced back in Idaho to the concept of a potato.

You speakith my words.....

 

[RadicusScout]

S Tier: Marbles. Because let's face it, when that person comes packed and prepared to shove a handful of marbles into their face at your game... any game... you're probably going to be thrown off your game a little bit. Maybe more than a little, perhaps, but at least a little.

Instead of thinking about the hand, you'd be flooded with thoughts like, "did they really bring their own marbles here?", "how long have they been doing this?!", and "what does a mixture of Cats Eye, Ox Blood, and Tiger Shark really taste like???" and you'll just be frozen in your head.

Fold.

 

[bergs]

S Tier: Marbles. Because let's face it, when that person comes packed and prepared to shove a handful of marbles into their face at your game... any game... you're probably going to be thrown off your game a little bit. Maybe more than a little, perhaps, but at least a little.

Instead of thinking about the hand, you'd be flooded with thoughts like, "did they really bring their own marbles here?", "how long have they been doing this?!", and "what does a mixture of Cats Eye, Ox Blood, and Tiger Shark really taste like???" and you'll just be frozen in your head.

Fold.

I’ve seen some things in my 500 years on this planet, but a man playing 1-5 spread stud and eating marbles - this I have not seen. This would cause me to quit poker.

The 1-5 spread stud part, I meant. Eating marbles just means you’re lacking teeth, a digestive system, and the common sense of a well rounded rock.

 

[RadicusScout]

This would cause me to quit poker.

You and me both.

 

[MrCatPants]

@JoseRijo freaked us out when night when he ate an entire apple. Fruit, seeds, core, stem. All of it. Like he was on that “Naked and Afraid” TV show.

We didn’t fear him though. We just thought he was slightly retarded.

Yeah thats creepy.