How I introduced my wife to my poker habit. (1 Viewer)

DrStrange

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I was inspired to write this story by another thread . . . .

So it is 1994 and I am living with the woman who will shortly become my wife. It is Friday night and I have gone to play cards. She knows I play in a twice a month poker game at an urban country club in Houston. Other than that, she doesn't have a clue how much money is at risk or if I win or lose. (and I don't know how she really feels about such things.)

I come rolling in about 1AM and she is still up (hours after she typically goes to bed), crying and upset. I am thinking that trouble is coming but not quite sure what form it will take. Much to my surprise she makes small talk. How was work? Did you eat dinner? Was it good? The conversation does not match the 1 am crying girlfriend picture.

So I ask, "why are you crying? And still up way past your bed time?"

She says, "please don't be mad." I immediately wonder if she had a post break up meeting with the previous boy friend, I know they were still close.

She pulls out a nice box and opens it - there is a NICE fancy gold rope chain inside. She says "I know we don't have the money for this, but I just couldn't say no."

I ask how much, she says $1,800. I start pulling $100 bills out of my pocket while saying the poker gods must have know she needed that chain (I had won about $2,200 that night). The night ends on a really good note.

Next morning she asks how much money we play for. She was thinking pocket change not folding money. I tell her that I take $1,000 to the game and show my money clip. Some nights I win, some nights I lose but I still have the $1,000 I started with and haven't been to an ATM since the 1980's. There will be nights the Poker Gods spit on me, but I get lots more love than spit . . .

She wonders how anyone could be so lucky and I explain that skill makes all the difference - luck is an illusion so the losing players have hope and keep playing. (I was a consulting statistician at the time, so it is easy for her to see that my math skills could plausibly explain everything.)

And that was it, she was sold on the benefits of my poker nights. We still joke fondly about her 'gift from the Poker Gods'.

Now days, the issue about poker night is her fear I'll die on the drive home. Her solution? You host, play with your nice chips and she will cook tasty treats for the crew. Works like a charm.

DrStrange
 

guinness

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With a lot of my past and present players, I think most women are put off by their husbands poker playing because it takes attention away from her. The arguments over money, people, places and safety seem to only be tangible points for arguing. There are some wives that love the time alone, but I think most fall in the other category.

I think its great that your wife loves you to host. My wife doesn't mind me hosting, but she hates it when my kids get up for breakfast and we are still rolling with SOHE while I have a family thing to attend or host in an hour. She just doesn't like the morning scene.
 

72o

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Thanks for sharing.

I have at least 2 things going for me I guess.
1. I host a monthly game at my house and my wife plays in it. We play till around 1-2am usually and she is still up with us till the very end (even if she is just hanging). This takes a lot of pressure off of the whole thing because we are having a good time together still.
2. We play such small stakes that it doesn't interfere with ANYTHING in the real world. I mean there is a possibility of losing $60 tops if I have an off night. Which is less than if I went out for dinner or drinks.
 

slisk250

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Wow, that is a great story and you could insert any other hobby in place of poker with the right girl and...you know you found the right girl. :)
 

detroitdad

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My story (won't be as well written as DR Stranges. My wife and I got married at 20. We had kids right away. I was not a poker player at this time (some would say that I'm still not a poker player). I didn't get into poker until about 12 years ago or so. I would host a monthly tourney with friends and family. Usually about 15 players. The buy in was 15 bucks and a dish to pass. We called it potluck poker. My wife loved this. A
Thanks for sharing.

I have at least 2 things going for me I guess.
1. I host a monthly game at my house and my wife plays in it. We play till around 1-2am usually and she is still up with us till the very end (even if she is just hanging). This takes a lot of pressure off of the whole thing because we are having a good time together still.
2. We play such small stakes that it doesn't interfere with ANYTHING in the real world. I mean there is a possibility of losing $60 tops if I have an off night. Which is less than if I went out for dinner or drinks.


When we played for lower stakes. Hell, we actually called it Potluck Poker. Buy in was 15 bucks and a dish to pass. My wife enjoyed playing in that. One Superbowl Sunday I had 22 players over (we doubled the blinds every 30 minutes, lol). Her and I played heads up with me winning. I digress. Since then she hasn't really played much. She loves playing cards, just not for money.

What helps me is I have a bankroll that started with 20 bucks about 6 years ago. I've never lost it all. The supplies to build my table came out of the bankroll, my chipsets have come out of my bankroll, cards, ect.....

She knows and respects that I like to play, and I like to get out of the house to blow off some steam. As long as I don't get crazy and play every weekend she is fine with it. I average 2-3 times a month and that is plenty. We have way more date nights than poker nites. I like it that way.
 

snooptodd

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With a lot of my past and present players, I think most women are put off by their husbands poker playing because it takes attention away from her. The arguments over money, people, places and safety seem to only be tangible points for arguing. There are some wives that love the time alone, but I think most fall in the other category.

I think its great that your wife loves you to host. My wife doesn't mind me hosting, but she hates it when my kids get up for breakfast and we are still rolling with SOHE while I have a family thing to attend or host in an hour. She just doesn't like the morning scene.

That seems absolutely fair. My wife loves it when I host (our games rarely go past 1 a.m.). She doesn't like it as much when I play until 3 a.m. at someone else's house, roll into bed at 4 a.m., miss the first 2-3 hours of the day with the kids and need a 2-hour nap in the afternoon. It's not the poker she objects to, it's the effect of that type of night the next day. Honestly I could come home up $1k (which for me would be a huge win) and it still wouldn't be worth it in her mind. I think she'd rather I lost $100 to my buddies and have a normal day the next day. That said, she understands how much I value those crazy nights and is cool with me doing it every couple months.
 

pltrgyst

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My dad used to play small-stakes poker most Sundays with his four brothers and 3 brother-in-laws over at my grandmother's house when I was a kid. Later, my parents played 3 cent limit poker with neighbor couples every Saturday night. So I started playing penny poker with my parents, from a coffee can full of pennies, when I was about 8 years old. Played throughout school and the army, especially in Vietnam, when we had down time at our base camp (won $5K the last week before coming home, from a crusty group of old warrant officers -- still my best win ever!)

When I got married in 1970, my first wife (Nancy-ex) was a serious dressage and 3-day event horse rider, who spent a lot of time at the barn after work, so it was natural for me to play in local poker games for those 18 or so years.

When we divorced in '88, I was too busy between work and chasing women to play much for a couple of years, until settling down with my current wife, (Nancy). But it turned out that she was in a couple of women-only book clubs, and we guys were at loose ends the nights they were having book club meetings, so somehow, poker reared its ugly head. My DC home game started, and ran until we moved to FL two years ago. Nancy knew and liked all (ok, most) of the guys in the group. We both worked a lot of hours, played a lot of tennis together, and had our separate activities as well.

She goes out for a week with old college friends in Colorado every year; I go to a couple of BARGE/AtLarge poker events in Vegas, and AC, and it all works out. We've never even had a discussion about poker or the way we spend the relatively small amount of time we're apart.

That's why I said the second time around is *always* better -- it's just been that way for me, and everyone else I know who struck out the first time at bat.
 

DrStrange

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Back in 1994 we played 5-draw, 5-stud, 7-stud, $5 dead from the dealer to call his game. Max buy-in $100. I didn't appreciate how bad those guys were, my win rate was something like $40 per hour. We didn't start playing hold'em in that game until 2014.

DrStrange
 

moose

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She found your roll and played you like a total fish into buying her a necklace. :D
 

chipjoker

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Nice story, I'm with moose on this one though....:)

My wife thought I had a gambling problem, then I showed her my spread sheet and reminded her that I only play with MY Bank Roll.
Now She barrow Money from MY BR...:mad:
 

Chicken Rob

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With a lot of my past and present players, I think most women are put off by their husbands poker playing because it takes attention away from her. The arguments over money, people, places and safety seem to only be tangible points for arguing. There are some wives that love the time alone, but I think most fall in the other category.

I think its great that your wife loves you to host. My wife doesn't mind me hosting, but she hates it when my kids get up for breakfast and we are still rolling with SOHE while I have a family thing to attend or host in an hour. She just doesn't like the morning scene.

Looking for easter eggs hiding under passed out degens on the couch isn't her idea of idilic childhood memory making?
 

Chicken Rob

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That seems absolutely fair. My wife loves it when I host (our games rarely go past 1 a.m.). She doesn't like it as much when I play until 3 a.m. at someone else's house, roll into bed at 4 a.m., miss the first 2-3 hours of the day with the kids and need a 2-hour nap in the afternoon. It's not the poker she objects to, it's the effect of that type of night the next day. Honestly I could come home up $1k (which for me would be a huge win) and it still wouldn't be worth it in her mind. I think she'd rather I lost $100 to my buddies and have a normal day the next day. That said, she understands how much I value those crazy nights and is cool with me doing it every couple months.

Your wife belongs in the poker wife hall of fame with her recent support for your cross country bike trip/poker book.
 

detroitdad

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I think the quarantine is getting to my wife. Last night I was on zoom, drinking, chatting, playing poker, and shuffling a stack of bourbon ones and fives. She looks at me and says "will you teach me how to shuffle chips". This is maybe the sexiest thing she has ever said to me :)

Were going to work on that during our long weekend off in a few days!
 
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