How do you deal with "fair weather" players? (1 Viewer)

[legonick]

How do you deal with "fair weather" players, especially when you are struggling to start a game up and need bodies?

Just had 2 guys who were planned to be at a Friday night game bail to go hiking early Saturday morning! Shows me where the game stands for them, so I guess this question pretty much answers itself, LOL. "D-list them and keep looking". But man it's hard to get a solid 9-man up.... The worst part is, I had high hopes these guys would be regulars! One I've played with a bit and he likes poker and I get along great with him, and his buddy seemed solid and not like someone who would bail with 3 day notice, so I'm hurt! LOL. I can see them getting into more games in the winter maybe?

Anyways, let's see if I can find 2 more to keep the table full! Really hoping I don't have to cancel the game. Planning to keep it if we can do 7 or more. It's a tourney. I'm on the brink but it looks like I'll probably get to 8...2 maybes that should lock in or out tonight, LOL.

 

[12thMan]

To be fair, an early morning hike with maybe a little hippie speedball or two thrown in the mix is a very tempting proposition and usually grounds for canceling most any plans.

Just kidding, it's not grounds to cancel poker, they just need to nut up and do both. I feel your pain: poker, softball league, fantasy football, all these things feel like it should be easy to get people on board but it's a nightmare.

 

[Jake14mw]

Yeah, it sucks when people cancel late. It happens though. If you don't have enough to fill your table, then there is not much you can do. If it only happened once than it's no issue. If the same person continues to do it, then that is a problem. Then you just talk to them about it, and why it causes a problem for you. Once you get enough regulars, then you can move some people to the fill-in list.

 

[shorticus]

Meh, 3-days notice is pretty good notice. How much information do you have on the hiking trip? Was it just “hey let’s plan this now and forget poker?” or was it, “we had a hiking trip planned so we just have to cancel this week.” That matters.

Either way, I’m not canceling my game with 7 players. Give it time, it will grow.

 

[legonick]

To be fair, an early morning hike with maybe a little hippie speedball or two thrown in the mix is a very tempting proposition and usually grounds for canceling most any plans.

Just kidding, it's not grounds to cancel poker, they just need to nut up and do both. I feel your pain: poker, softball league, fantasy football, all these things feel like it should be easy to get people on board but it's a nightmare.

Everyone should try to host a monthly poker night and feel the pain, then maybe less people would be like that. I know I've changed my outlook on it. If I get invited to something, I respond ASAP and stick with my response. If it's a no and I really wanted to, I make sure to voice that as well, so maybe if I'm lucky I'll get an invite next time and be able to make that one.

 

[MrCatPants]

Would recommend finding ways (not in response to this, but maybe a future invite) to let people know that late cancelling isn't respectful to the other players. A few years ago, I had a 10 person lineup and had turned away two people as of 3pm for a 7pm game. 6 cancellations in the next three hours, and had to cancel the game with some people already on the road/having based a work schedule or location around the game, etc. Gave me an easy reason to address the issue and not make it personal to me.

 

[legonick]

Meh, 3-days notice is pretty good notice. How much information do you have on the hiking trip? Was it just “hey let’s plan this now and forget poker?” or was it, “we had a hiking trip planned so we just have to cancel this week.” That matters.

Either way, I’m not canceling my game with 7 players. Give it time, it will grow.

I agree it's better than 1 hour notice, but I've found that it's hard to pull in people with 3-day notice. A week plus seems to be the magic number. Inside a week people seem to have plans or didn't expect to have plans and feel like they aren't A-list, so they think, why bother.

Good question...maybe it's an SO-influenced event. Like their SOs were like "we want to go hiking" so bye-bye to poker night. They are going hiking together which I think they do sometimes.

One def. wanted to know when the next poker night is. I just said "OK" but it's kind of like, why? You gonna walk with 3 day notice and f' the game over again? Fair weather player...when the weather if NOT fair enough to go hiking, or he can't find something else he'd rather do, then he'll play. Good to know the world revolves around him and he managed to make better plans for Saturday! So important. /rant

 

[legonick]

Would recommend finding ways (not in response to this, but maybe a future invite) to let people know that late cancelling isn't respectful to the other players. A few years ago, I had a 10 person lineup and had turned away two people as of 3pm for a 7pm game. 6 cancellations in the next three hours, and had to cancel the game with some people already on the road/having based a work schedule or location around the game, etc. Gave me an easy reason to address the issue and not make it personal to me.

Dude that's brutal! How many were legit though? Canceling with 3 day notice to go hiking on Saturday morning, not acceptable...totally disrespectful of the game and other players. Canceling because you have a horrible cough and fever the day of, acceptable - what are you gonna do?

 

[drtork]

We have that problem but with fishing

 

[MrCatPants]

Dude that's brutal! How many were legit though? Canceling with 3 day notice to go hiking on Saturday morning, not acceptable...totally disrespectful of the game and other players. Canceling because you have a horrible cough and fever the day of, acceptable - what are you gonna do?

hard to say and it's been a while - but I do remember a few definitely sounding 'lame' - e.g. long day at work, just going to head home

3 day notice is a good deal of time though - to me, 24 hour notice or less (without a 'I can't control this' type of reason is where it gets tough.

 

[grebe]

3 day notice seems like it's not them, it's you. If you really expect people to tell their SO to pack sand, poker night is Friday...you will suffer much disappointment.

Edit to add: sounds like you just need a bigger pool of players to draw from, these are growing pains.

 

[JeepologyOffroad]

How far in advance do you plan your games? I feel your pain. Truly I do, but 3 days seems reasonable to me personally. Probably depends how long you’ve been planning the game.

 

[MrCatPants]

3 day notice seems like it's not them, it's you. If you really expect people to tell their SO to pack sand, poker night is Friday...you will suffer much disappointment.

Edit to add: sounds like you just need a bigger pool of players to draw from, these are growing pains.

Friday night is a bad night for people too for this reason. We do Thursdays and it limits the last minute date nights etc.

 

[shorticus]

Friday night is a bad night for people too for this reason. We do Thursdays and it limits the last minute date nights etc.

This is smart!

 

[SiouxperStack]

@earlySaturdaymorninghiker

 

[legonick]

hard to say and it's been a while - but I do remember a few definitely sounding 'lame' - e.g. long day at work, just going to head home

3 day notice is a good deal of time though - to me, 24 hour notice or less (without a 'I can't control this' type of reason is where it gets tough.

You can get people within 3 days easily? Dang...jelly! LOL.

3 day notice seems like it's not them, it's you. If you really expect people to tell their SO to pack sand, poker night is Friday...you will suffer much disappointment.

Edit to add: sounds like you just need a bigger pool of players to draw from, these are growing pains.

Is it much to ask? If someone commits to showing up to a poker game, or party, or wedding, or dinner out, or ANYTHING, they should attend, unless BDTC (Bleeding, Dying, Throwing up, COVID-19), or a death in the family.

How far in advance do you plan your games? I feel your pain. Truly I do, but 3 days seems reasonable to me personally. Probably depends how long you’ve been planning the game.

The last few I've done ~3 week notice. One of these guys tabbed in ~17 days before the game, the other ~10 days before the game.

 

[JeepologyOffroad]

3 weeks then I will agree that 3 days sucks and should be too late

 

[DeeVee8]

I agree that 3 days isn't horrible, and you'll never really stop players from bailing entirely. I'll cancel a tournament if it gets below 6. Two things come to mind...

Best defense is to grow the game. This takes time, so just keep recruiting players and in time, losing a couple 3 days before the game won't have much of an impact on your game. Our group has been at it for over 20 yrs and I'm still constantly recruiting. If a poker game isn't growing, it's dying.

Plan in advance. We schedule our games every 6 months. In Jan, we release the schedule for Jan-June. Every June, we release July-Dec. We've found that once our guys can get the game on their family's calendar, they have a better chance to defend it.

 

[legonick]

Friday night is a bad night for people too for this reason. We do Thursdays and it limits the last minute date nights etc.

This is smart!

My game has been kicking off ~8:15 PM ET. I feel like with that start time doing a weeknight would get me too many "I need to be up for work" "No"s. :/

 

[Pinesol13]

I feel your pain. I have a list of about 25 friends, it amazes me how difficult it is sometimes to get a solid game going.

What bugs me more than people cancelling is when people show up, but then say they have to leave in an hour. Whats the point!?!

 

[DeeVee8]

You can get people within 3 days easily? Dang...jelly! LOL.



Is it much to ask? If someone commits to showing up to a poker game, or party, or wedding, or dinner out, or ANYTHING, they should attend, unless BDTC (Bleeding, Dying, Throwing up, COVID-19), or a death in the family.



The last few I've done ~3 week notice. One of these guys tabbed in ~17 days before the game, the other ~10 days before the game.

Its weird, but many players don't feel like its a commitment, not realizing what bailing does to the game. You can try to explain it to them, but I doubt their minds will change. Accept them when they play, ignore them when they don't. But don't count on them.

 

[legonick]

I agree that 3 days isn't horrible, and you'll never really stop players from bailing entirely. I'll cancel a tournament if it gets below 6. Two things come to mind...

Best defense is to grow the game. This takes time, so just keep recruiting players and in time, losing a couple 3 days before the game won't have much of an impact on your game. Our group has been at it for over 20 yrs and I'm still constantly recruiting. If a poker game isn't growing, it's dying.

Plan in advance. We schedule our games every 6 months. In Jan, we release the schedule for Jan-June. Every June, we release July-Dec. We've found that once our guys can get the game on their family's calendar, they have a better chance to defend it.

"If it's not growing, it's dying" - so true, I'm really trying to grow it right now because that's a great saying I agree with.

I've been doing the 2nd to last Friday of every month and try to mention it at each game. Maybe I should be putting out a full calendar like you did. How did you publish it?

 

[DeeVee8]

"If it's not growing, it's dying" - so true, I'm really trying to grow it right now because that's a great saying I agree with.

I've been doing the 2nd to last Friday of every month and try to mention it at each game. Maybe I should be putting out a full calendar like you did. How did you publish it?

I have it published on my website, but you could do fb, email, group text.

www.voodoopoker.club

 

[legonick]

Its weird, but many players don't feel like its a commitment, not realizing what bailing does to the game. You can try to explain it to them, but I doubt their minds will change. Accept them when they play, ignore them when they don't. But don't count on them.

We should start a game of only other poker night hosts. It's be the most respectful, understanding, easy-going game ever! A joy to setup and run.

 

[shorticus]

Is it much to ask? If someone commits to showing up to a poker game, or party, or wedding, or dinner out, or ANYTHING, they should attend, unless BDTC (Bleeding, Dying, Throwing up, COVID-19), or a death in the family.

As a huge and of poker and someone who is big on keeping their word, I don’t think a wedding is on the same level as dinner or poker night.

Be careful with how frustrated you get with this especially if you are expressing it to your players as this can become a turnoff.

 

[Dodger]

The way I see it - it’s their loss. There is nothing stopping them from doing both. I usually give guys a good ribbing if they cancel for any reason having to do with an early morning the day after poker night. Can they really not lose a couple hours sleep this one time? Give me a break.

It’s also summer time after a year and a half of this pandemic, and people are ready to make the most of it by traveling and getting outdoors. So establishing your game now will take a little more fortitude.

It sounds like you are still in the beginning stages of getting your game going and being consistent. Once the consistency is there, players will be less likely to cancel.

All in all, don’t take cancellations personally. Yeah, it can screw up planning, but they are the ones missing out.

 

[legonick]

I have it published on my website, but you could do fb, email, group text.

www.voodoopoker.club

Very nice! I've been using Evite to setup the games. Not super-impressed yet...it seems like it turns into a lot of manual pinging. But I think that's more on the players. My like 1 or 2 regulars seem solid with it, others it shows they don't view it, or they view it but ghost it for a long time.

As a huge and of poker and someone who is big on keeping their word, I don’t think a wedding is on the same level as dinner or poker night.

Be careful with how frustrated you get with this and especially if you are expressing it to your players, this can become a turnoff.

I've only voiced my frustrations with 2 very close friends.

One thing I have done is tell the few regulars I have how appreciative I am of their fast response. It seems like a good thing to do, and it's very true.

 

[DeeVee8]

Very nice! I've been using Evite to setup the games. Not super-impressed yet...it seems like it turns into a lot of manual pinging. But I think that's more on the players. My like 1 or 2 regulars seem solid with it, others it shows they don't view it, or they view it but ghost it for a long time.



I've only voiced my frustrations with 2 very close friends.

One thing I have done is tell the few regulars I have how appreciative I am of their fast response. It seems like a good thing to do, and it's very true.

For each game, I use e-vite, the website, Facebook, text and email. Its a chore, but it seems to reach everyone.

 

[legonick]

The way I see it - it’s their loss. There is nothing stopping them from doing both. I usually give guys a good ribbing if they cancel for any reason having to do with an early morning the day after poker night. Can they really not lose a couple hours sleep this one time? Give me a break.

It’s also summer time after a year and a half of this pandemic, and people are ready to make the most of it by traveling and getting outdoors. So establishing your game now will take a little more fortitude.

It sounds like you are still in the beginning stages of getting your game going and being consistent. Once the consistency is there, players will be less likely to cancel.

All in all, don’t take cancellations personally. Yeah, it can screw up planning, but they are the ones missing out.

Yeah, I have a buddy who wants to play but has been not attending due to a new baby. His "excuse" is he won't be able to get up with his other child the next morning, and it's not OK to do that to his wife. He's a very close friend, so I've been ribbing him on it. I agree, don't make your wife get up, you get up. Get good sleep the week of, don't drink yourself into a stupor, leave when you bust. I think he'd survive 1 night past 10 PM ET, LOL.

Yeah stupid me, I thought after the pandemic would be a great time to start up! Everyone's been holed up, haven't seen much of their friends, etc. But I'm learning, especially the summer months, it's tricky.

 

[Dodger]

Yeah stupid me, I thought after the pandemic would be a great time to start up! Everyone's been holed up, haven't seen much of their friends, etc. But I'm learning, especially the summer months, it's tricky.

When September hits, and vacations slow down, I think it will get a little easier for you.

From a logistics standpoint, I used to just do a mass group text. However, that can be a bit intrusive if not everyone knows each other. And having to create a new thread every time you add someone to the game is annoying. Check out the Band app. I’ve moved my communications and messaging there, and it seems to be working well.