mashoo
3 of a Kind
First, the easy part, it's definitely not your obligation. Are you sure though that you don't at some level WANT to run it so that it lives up to your standards? I'm sure you don't want all the dirty work and obligation, but from your words it sounds like it may be a bit of a competition to you. Do your friends really try to start games to COMPETE with yours?
I hope this isn't coming off the wrong way mashoo, I'm not trying to criticize or judge, just trying to help. Most of us that host are proud of our games just as you are. I know I get a lot of satisfaction from running a good game (not quite as high end stuff as yours!). If you want to just go and play at your friends game, then just do it. Definitely don't deal at his game, you should be able to not work as much when you're not hosting, and maybe they'll get better at dealing and you won't have to do it at your game (or at least appreciate the fact that you deal)!
I was a little vague on the competition part. When I first started running my game, I've always determined the list by a simple question, would I want to have a beer outside of work with you. If it was a yes, you'd be on the list, if the answer was no, I wouldn't send an invite.
A few people that I wouldn't invite tried running their own game but it didn't work out. Jake is a good friend of mine so I'm happy to help him out.
He's already texted me if I dealt his game that he'd get me a bottle of whiskey or scotch because he's recognized that hosting a game is a bunch of work. Jake hosts so infrequently that I don't think he's interested in building up a game himself. You are right though, I do want that level of control by dealing because I hate a slow game lol. A fun and social night can still be a part of a well paced game.