appar1t10n
Sitting Out
So, I posted this on the twoplustwo forums...and they absolutely tore it apart. Lol They hated it. But that's ok. I only need a small percentage of people who see it to like it enough to back it.
So, the idea came to me when I was taking a class on gang awareness, for my job, and the instructor showed us a slide of an old hit list that had been confiscated from a known mafia boss, local to California, if i recall correctly. The list read "Hard Candy" at the top and he went on to tell us that "hard candy" is the term the gangsters use in substitution for "hit list." Obviously they preferred to use something a little more cryptic. The list is passed around to all members of the gang or mob and if your name's on it, the gang has been given a green light to take you out at the earliest opportunity. So, when I heard this, being the complete degen that I am, I immediately thought, "What a great way to describe a cutthroat poker game!" and my mind went on to start picturing candy-inspired poker chips. The class was boring anyway.
I figured, with all the threads I've seen--lurking around on this forum and others--with so many references to chips looking like candy and jokes about people licking them, all out putting them in their mouths, etc., why not design a set of poker chips that takes a style queue from actual candy? After all, that's kind of what people crave in their chips, right? Chips provide us guys the opportunity to collect pretty pink stuff without seeming feminine, right? Lol
I'm also kind of of the opinion that the poker chip world needs a fresh spin on things. A design that's completely unique, unlike anything on the market today. Why not? Dye-sub ceramic chips have given us a tremendous opportunity to design something from the ground up that shakes up traditional poker chip design and adds some variety to our chip collections. Anyway, that's basically how the Hard Candy Hold'em poker set was conceived. A set of poker chips that utilizes the beautiful colors often found in candy while maintaining a certain degree of masculinity with the artwork, hot cartoon girls, and the Mafia theme. But, once the chips were done, I had to finish it. I thought, "Why not make it a complete set?" After all, how many complete poker sets come up for sale with cards, chips, dealer button, and a case? So I finished it and this is what you're about to see. It is a NOVELTY poker set, perhaps a collector's item, and it's definitely not for everyone. But, I figure if anyone's going to get this thing at all, it's here.
So I'll do my best to present this idea in the order that I will in the KickStarter, which was originally slated for a submission tonight or early tomorrow. Still working toward that goal, as we speak. To prevent this post from being overlong, I'll just skip the intro--which is basically what I wrote above--and go right to the character bios.
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND...some of these characters still need some retouching. Particularly the hands, clothing, and a couple of the weapons. Many of them were just quick drafts. For the sake of getting the word out as early as possible, I'm presenting you what I have.
**************************************************************
The blue family, the Azzurros, are the King, Queen, and Jack of Clubs, in that order. The Giallos (yellow) are the Diamonds, the Rossos (magenta) are the Hearts, and the Neros (black) are the Spades. After the intro to the families will be the chips, then cards, dealer button, and cases.
TOMMY TWO TIMES AZZURRO
Tommy's the boss of the Azzurro Family. He got his nickname, not because he says everything twice, but because, when someone asked him why he knocked off Gary "Get Some" Grigio, a made man in his crew, his response was, "Well, ya know...I had to tell him two times!" His weapon of choice? The "Tommy" gun, of course.
PIGSTICK PENNY AZZURRO
Everyone calls her Pigstick Penny, but no one really knows why. People think she walks with her cane because she's a decrepit old lady and, the truth is, she likes it that way. She's perfectly able-bodied and her cane has a spring-loaded blade in the end that deploys at the press of a button. The only people aware of the true origin of her nickname, however, are her husband, Tommy, her son, Rocky...and the dearly departed.
ROCKY REMBRANDT AZZURRO
No one's ever accused Rocky of being apathetic about his work. After his initiatory hit, his father, Tommy, told everyone, "...And when Rocky was done takin' that sledgehammer to 'im, it looked like someone had painted a mural on the wall." If he's not happy with the way his "mural" turned out, he'll even go so far as to use his paintbrush for any finishing touches he deems necessary.
PUS-GUT PAULY GIALLO
The Giallos own an Italian restaurant, but that's not how Pauly got his pus-gut or his alias. He owes that to the US Army and his drill instructor. Despite his genetic predisposition toward weight gain though, he always managed to outperform his comrades during PT. If he hears you call him Pus-Gut, you'd better hope he considers you a close friend. His weapon preference stems from his Army days as well...the tried-and-true 1911.
CLARA THE CLEANER GIALLO AND HAMELIA
Clara doesn't participate in the execution of the Giallo Family's enemies. Her specialty is disposal. She keeps a pig farm for two reasons: The first is to improve the restaurant's bottom line by stocking her own pork and the second is because pigs have an amazing ability to chew their way through anything. Hamelia, though, will never find herself on the menu. She's Clara's favorite and for good reason. She, like all the members of the Giallo Family, loves her job.
KENNY KARAOKE GIALLO
Kenny is known to serenade his victims with an operatic solo while he's strangling them with his rope. He says it's to drown out any sounds of struggle and to allay suspicion, but the truth is the sadism makes him giddy.
NICKY THE NOGGIN ROSSO
Nicky's aware that his head is enormous. He's made peace with it, because along with his enormous head came an enormous brain. See, Nicky's an evil genius. It's how he's amassed a criminal network that permeates the FBI, CIA, NSA, and the even US Department of the Treasury. It's also how he landed his hottie wife, Brandy.
BRANDY THE BARBER ROSSO
Before turning to a life of crime, Brandy used to be an actual barber. Good as her tips were though, she couldn't resist Nicky's charm and the allure of the empire he'd built. She now uses her razor to shave off more than just your lip sweater. And she's well aware of how to use her endowments to manipulate men into a position of fatal disadvantage.
JUICY JOHNNY ROSSO
Despite his nickname, Juicy Johnny didn't achieve his massive upper body by using the sauce. He's a natural bodybuilder. He regularly dines on cottage cheese, egg whites, and flaxseed oil, and he swears by garlic for maintaining his skin's youthful glow. That's what he tells people, at least. He's so strong that he doesn't really need a weapon, but he likes using his brass knuckles.
BIG-GUN BENNY NERO
Whereas most mobsters are of the school of thought that you should keep your hits as clean as possible...Benny likes it messy. He likes to make a statement when he does someone in and nothing does that quite like his 40mm grenade launcher. Be thankful if he opts for his .50 cal when he comes looking for you.
MAGIC MINNIE NERO
Magic Minnie might not look like it, but she has a master's degree in chemistry. It's said that her skills with beaker and stirring rod enable her to make potions that can make a man disappear. Hence the name. Beware if she offers to make you a smoothie.
SPAZZY CHAZ NERO
The name and the wild-eyed, bloodshot gaze say it all. What Chaz lacks in size and strength, he more than makes up for with insanity. Even his dad, Benny, a man known for his brutality, has said--and I quote--"That boy ain't right." He'll use anything he can get his hands on as a weapon, but he prefers the satisfying tactile feedback of his aluminum baseball bat.
**************************************************************
Chips up next!!!
- - - - - - - - - Updated - - - - - - - - -
Chips and edge "spots." I designed the edge spots to look like big sticks of striped candy when they're aligned properly.
See?
And now the dealer button...
So, the idea came to me when I was taking a class on gang awareness, for my job, and the instructor showed us a slide of an old hit list that had been confiscated from a known mafia boss, local to California, if i recall correctly. The list read "Hard Candy" at the top and he went on to tell us that "hard candy" is the term the gangsters use in substitution for "hit list." Obviously they preferred to use something a little more cryptic. The list is passed around to all members of the gang or mob and if your name's on it, the gang has been given a green light to take you out at the earliest opportunity. So, when I heard this, being the complete degen that I am, I immediately thought, "What a great way to describe a cutthroat poker game!" and my mind went on to start picturing candy-inspired poker chips. The class was boring anyway.
I figured, with all the threads I've seen--lurking around on this forum and others--with so many references to chips looking like candy and jokes about people licking them, all out putting them in their mouths, etc., why not design a set of poker chips that takes a style queue from actual candy? After all, that's kind of what people crave in their chips, right? Chips provide us guys the opportunity to collect pretty pink stuff without seeming feminine, right? Lol
I'm also kind of of the opinion that the poker chip world needs a fresh spin on things. A design that's completely unique, unlike anything on the market today. Why not? Dye-sub ceramic chips have given us a tremendous opportunity to design something from the ground up that shakes up traditional poker chip design and adds some variety to our chip collections. Anyway, that's basically how the Hard Candy Hold'em poker set was conceived. A set of poker chips that utilizes the beautiful colors often found in candy while maintaining a certain degree of masculinity with the artwork, hot cartoon girls, and the Mafia theme. But, once the chips were done, I had to finish it. I thought, "Why not make it a complete set?" After all, how many complete poker sets come up for sale with cards, chips, dealer button, and a case? So I finished it and this is what you're about to see. It is a NOVELTY poker set, perhaps a collector's item, and it's definitely not for everyone. But, I figure if anyone's going to get this thing at all, it's here.
So I'll do my best to present this idea in the order that I will in the KickStarter, which was originally slated for a submission tonight or early tomorrow. Still working toward that goal, as we speak. To prevent this post from being overlong, I'll just skip the intro--which is basically what I wrote above--and go right to the character bios.
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND...some of these characters still need some retouching. Particularly the hands, clothing, and a couple of the weapons. Many of them were just quick drafts. For the sake of getting the word out as early as possible, I'm presenting you what I have.
**************************************************************
The blue family, the Azzurros, are the King, Queen, and Jack of Clubs, in that order. The Giallos (yellow) are the Diamonds, the Rossos (magenta) are the Hearts, and the Neros (black) are the Spades. After the intro to the families will be the chips, then cards, dealer button, and cases.
TOMMY TWO TIMES AZZURRO
Tommy's the boss of the Azzurro Family. He got his nickname, not because he says everything twice, but because, when someone asked him why he knocked off Gary "Get Some" Grigio, a made man in his crew, his response was, "Well, ya know...I had to tell him two times!" His weapon of choice? The "Tommy" gun, of course.
PIGSTICK PENNY AZZURRO
Everyone calls her Pigstick Penny, but no one really knows why. People think she walks with her cane because she's a decrepit old lady and, the truth is, she likes it that way. She's perfectly able-bodied and her cane has a spring-loaded blade in the end that deploys at the press of a button. The only people aware of the true origin of her nickname, however, are her husband, Tommy, her son, Rocky...and the dearly departed.
ROCKY REMBRANDT AZZURRO
No one's ever accused Rocky of being apathetic about his work. After his initiatory hit, his father, Tommy, told everyone, "...And when Rocky was done takin' that sledgehammer to 'im, it looked like someone had painted a mural on the wall." If he's not happy with the way his "mural" turned out, he'll even go so far as to use his paintbrush for any finishing touches he deems necessary.
PUS-GUT PAULY GIALLO
The Giallos own an Italian restaurant, but that's not how Pauly got his pus-gut or his alias. He owes that to the US Army and his drill instructor. Despite his genetic predisposition toward weight gain though, he always managed to outperform his comrades during PT. If he hears you call him Pus-Gut, you'd better hope he considers you a close friend. His weapon preference stems from his Army days as well...the tried-and-true 1911.
CLARA THE CLEANER GIALLO AND HAMELIA
Clara doesn't participate in the execution of the Giallo Family's enemies. Her specialty is disposal. She keeps a pig farm for two reasons: The first is to improve the restaurant's bottom line by stocking her own pork and the second is because pigs have an amazing ability to chew their way through anything. Hamelia, though, will never find herself on the menu. She's Clara's favorite and for good reason. She, like all the members of the Giallo Family, loves her job.
KENNY KARAOKE GIALLO
Kenny is known to serenade his victims with an operatic solo while he's strangling them with his rope. He says it's to drown out any sounds of struggle and to allay suspicion, but the truth is the sadism makes him giddy.
NICKY THE NOGGIN ROSSO
Nicky's aware that his head is enormous. He's made peace with it, because along with his enormous head came an enormous brain. See, Nicky's an evil genius. It's how he's amassed a criminal network that permeates the FBI, CIA, NSA, and the even US Department of the Treasury. It's also how he landed his hottie wife, Brandy.
BRANDY THE BARBER ROSSO
Before turning to a life of crime, Brandy used to be an actual barber. Good as her tips were though, she couldn't resist Nicky's charm and the allure of the empire he'd built. She now uses her razor to shave off more than just your lip sweater. And she's well aware of how to use her endowments to manipulate men into a position of fatal disadvantage.
JUICY JOHNNY ROSSO
Despite his nickname, Juicy Johnny didn't achieve his massive upper body by using the sauce. He's a natural bodybuilder. He regularly dines on cottage cheese, egg whites, and flaxseed oil, and he swears by garlic for maintaining his skin's youthful glow. That's what he tells people, at least. He's so strong that he doesn't really need a weapon, but he likes using his brass knuckles.
BIG-GUN BENNY NERO
Whereas most mobsters are of the school of thought that you should keep your hits as clean as possible...Benny likes it messy. He likes to make a statement when he does someone in and nothing does that quite like his 40mm grenade launcher. Be thankful if he opts for his .50 cal when he comes looking for you.
MAGIC MINNIE NERO
Magic Minnie might not look like it, but she has a master's degree in chemistry. It's said that her skills with beaker and stirring rod enable her to make potions that can make a man disappear. Hence the name. Beware if she offers to make you a smoothie.
SPAZZY CHAZ NERO
The name and the wild-eyed, bloodshot gaze say it all. What Chaz lacks in size and strength, he more than makes up for with insanity. Even his dad, Benny, a man known for his brutality, has said--and I quote--"That boy ain't right." He'll use anything he can get his hands on as a weapon, but he prefers the satisfying tactile feedback of his aluminum baseball bat.
**************************************************************
Chips up next!!!
- - - - - - - - - Updated - - - - - - - - -
Chips and edge "spots." I designed the edge spots to look like big sticks of striped candy when they're aligned properly.
See?
And now the dealer button...
: Like someone said here, poker related stuff is a niche market, and for the very few that will like these, it'll be a very small market.
