Fugly Poker Table Thread (21 Viewers)

Poker Zombie

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I don't know what could top this table. Even the worst tables of my dreams weren't this bad.
I've built 3 tables, all with outside-of-the-box thinking. I always thought they were borderline to being invited to the thread.

Now I feel like a master designer of tables.
Until the T_Chan thread gets bumped
 

TX_Golf_N_Poker

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I still can't visualize this. I mean if the chair goes between the arms, are you having to lean sideways to see your cards on the putt putt mat? Someone designed this on drugs.

I need someone to photoshop in some pics of a chair, poker chips, a beer, pack of lung darts and an ashtray.
Ok, I still have loads of questions about this. But the one thing I'm pretty certain of is that no one DESIGNED THIS to be a poker table. I still can't put my finger on WHAT this was originally, but it was definitely something else before it was Frankensteined into this poker table.
 

Pinesol13

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Ok, I still have loads of questions about this. But the one thing I'm pretty certain of is that no one DESIGNED THIS to be a poker table. I still can't put my finger on WHAT this was originally, but it was definitely something else before it was Frankensteined into this poker table.

It looks to me like something for a pool, like it was meant to be a floating table, but it was never finished, and someone converted it to a "poker table"
 

TX_Golf_N_Poker

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It looks to me like something for a pool, like it was meant to be a floating table, but it was never finished, and someone converted it to a "poker table"
I dunno. Seller said it was heavy and looks to be made of cast aluminum. I was thinking some kind of playground equipment like a merry go round. Maybe larger seats or little dogs and ponies were mounted to the pieces extending out. That's the best I've been able to come up with. I think it would be too heavy to be made to float.
 
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Ok, I still have loads of questions about this. But the one thing I'm pretty certain of is that no one DESIGNED THIS to be a poker table. I still can't put my finger on WHAT this was originally, but it was definitely something else before it was Frankensteined into this poker table.
Seems like a good time to break out one of my ATF quotes.

CE21391D-5943-4D27-832A-ABE595EC25C5.jpeg
 

joshuagb

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I dunno. Seller said it was heavy and looks to be made of cast aluminum. I was thinking some kind of playground equipment like a merry go round. Maybe larger seats or little dogs and ponies were mounted to the pieces extending out. That's the best I've been able to come up with. I think it would be too heavy to be made to float.
There’s no question that the main frame of it was made industrially for some other purpose. Maybe some kind of mining operation. Probably not a consumer product that most people would be familiar with. That’s why it looks alien.
 

Sparty

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Oh my! I’ve been laughing out loud for 15 straight minutes with the past 3 pages of comments on the #1
Me: Hi Miguel, this is a very intriguing custom table. I have some questions. Which parts are the beer holders, chip holders, cigarette holders (I smoke cigars, will it hold cigars?). Trying to visualize how it works. Is it portable? Thanks!

Miguel: The little arms are beer holders they sit down by your lap, cigarette holders are right in front, And the chip holders are on the opposite side of you the little square compartment is for ashtrays.

Me: That helps, but where do players sit? Do they have to have a separate chair?

Miguel: In between the little arms that stick down can you put chairs in between them.

Me: Gotcha. Do you know what the table height is?

Miguel: It’s average table height I’ve never measured it but I can.

Me: That's ok, average is fine. Hard to tell from the picture.

Miguel: I haven’t had a best offer so maybe the first offer will win it plus it’s very heavy to ship. Thank you for asking and have a great day.


I still can't visualize this. I mean if the chair goes between the arms, are you having to lean sideways to see your cards on the putt putt mat? Someone designed this on drugs.

I need someone to photoshop in some pics of a chair, poker chips, a beer, pack of lung darts and an ashtray.
i think I peed my pants. Laughing for 15 minutes. Pcf top thread for sure. And I agree with everyone else. Every other fugly table we’ve ever seen doesn’t seem bad at all anymore compared to this one. It’s like the Swiss Army knife of fugly poker tables.

Miguel: “…and it can do THIS, and it can do THAT…”. LMFAO
 

CptainCanuck

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epoxy tops are so fetch. Just saw this locally with an epoxy top

ECAA77D7-4A76-4CEB-8A42-8FEC12F9FC15.jpeg


“Hand Made Custom Poker Table. Real barbed wire and wood under an epoxy coating. 78” x 45”. $2000 obo”
 
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