Back to BYOB (1 Viewer)

I normally run my events with the clause “bring a six pack or a snack to share”. I provide a few minor on hand snacks and whatever beer was left from the last game. I often have plenty of people bringing snacks and beverages. I still get Players donating/tipping a few extra bucks (at cashing out). This isn’t expected, but it’s appreciated. I apply that towards new cards, and on hand soda/snacks that people don’t bring.

I also play a buddy’s game, who runs things very differently. He provides a nice spread, and just sets out a tip jar, which gets a donation between $5 and $20 from each attendee.

Last night I tried a little experiment. I very publically indicated in the invite, and event reminders that I would be providing all the food and beverages, including dinner, beer, snacks, etc.. I did not ask or announce that donations would be asked for, but figured I would put out a food donations jar in case anyone wanted to contribute. I provided upwards of $80-100 worth of food and drinks for 10 Players, and the donations jar was conspicuously (and completely) empty. It was a few of my regulars, mixed with a few new people, and I was a little surprised. I even received fewer cash-out tips last night...

I certainly wish I could afford to just supply food/beverages for everyone, but I host 1-2x per month on avg, so that would be between $1000-2000 of food costs per year.

I like to host, and I like to provide a nice environment for my guests. I thought it might be nice (for a change) to have guests not worry about bringing stuff along, and I’m not even looking to break even... it’s weird, I have no problem asking people to bring a six pack/snack to share, but I don’t like the thought of saying “I’m proving food, please contribute money”. I also know I could probably poll my Players to inquire what they’d want to do. I might do the poll thing, but I’m probably going back to the BYOB format. It’s easier, i don’t have to cook, etc.. most importantly it has been working. Probably no need to fix it.

Could you have been misunderstood, with everybody thinking it was your treat? (other than the conspicuously placed tip jar, that is)

Going back to the old way seems like a good idea.

Would your group be up for being told "we will all be chipping in $10 for a full meal and drinks available thru the night"...

Sounds like they all lack a little common courtesy (and common sense) to me. I'd be all about my host running a game like you did

I host a weekly cash game and take $5 from each persons first buyin. I use that to provide water, soda, cookies, donuts, pretzles ... and even some beer.

Some weeks i make an extra 10 and sometimes i lose an extra 10 depending on what is left and what I buy that week but hey variance

Point being just make it consistent, life is easier when it is always the same and where else do people get to play a great game with awesome chips rake free?

If i sent out an invite saying i'm providing all food and beverages, for ANY event, then thats what it would mean. Providing means paying for. IMO.

MatB said:

If i sent out an invite saying i'm providing all food and beverages, for ANY event, then thats what it would mean. Providing means paying for. IMO.

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1000% agree

I provide all food, beverages (beer, liquor, soda for mixing, water, etc.), and snacks every time I host. It's not always extravagant but sometimes it is. I enjoy doing it for the guys - and they appreciate it. I turn down donations when offered, though I'll often find cash squirreled away in a cup holder, under my keys, and elsewhere. Everyone knows that they are more than welcome to bring something, particularly if they want something specific that I may or may not have on hand.

I guess it all boils down to: do what works for you and if she ain't broke, don't try to fix her.

My initial thought was the players felt you were doing a special event for them.

If you are typically the biggest winner they may have felt it was your way of giving back.

If you want the players to kick in something I would spell it out to them.

Something like "you are welcome to enjoy the food and drinks but please leave a small donation if you do"

That way the players that don't want anything don't feel compelled to donate and the ones that do realize they should give something.

“Never a borrower or a lender be”

If my invitation said snacks and drinks would be provided, I’d ignore it. Because I’m comfortable with bringing my own, and not worrying about drinking the host’s beers, how many of the hosts beers I should drink, or repaying the host for those beers.
If I did drink the host’s beers, I’d feel obliged to make a donation to the tip jar. But who wants their guests to feel obliged? That’s awkward.
Everybody’s different, but that’s my two cents.
I think you should keep it byob and be confortable with that.

If a host says they are providing beers, i am 100% going to bring my own. Unless its @bergs with a fridge full of Treehouse.
I dont drink much but when i do it better be good !

If a host says they are providing food. I am 95% going to make sure i eat something i like before showing up.

If a host says i'm taking $5 to order food for everyone. I am 100% going to give them $5 and 95% not going eat the food.

I provide tap water and ice. But it's a weekly game... People bring beer and it becomes kinda like a penny dish. Take one, leave one. It all comes around...

MatB said:

If a host says they are providing beers, i am 100% going to bring my own. Unless it Bergs with a fridge full of Treehouse.
I dont drink much but when i do it better be good !

If a host says they are providing food. I am 95% going to make sure i eat something i like before showing up.

If a host says i'm taking $5 to order food for everyone. I am 100% going to give them $5 and 95% not going eat the food.

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This is EXACTLY how I feel. Except for the Treehouse.

I pad my donation box with a couple of $10s so people get the idea, and also include that there is an optional donation for food and beer on my email invites. Also pricing the buy-in at $50 leaves $10 change which most simply toss back in the tip box. I never assume, and always hand them the $10. But as others have said, if it ain't broke.....

Some people, as mention above, probably took it to mean it was just something nice you were doing. Others just didn't read what you sent out. I try to put a few pieces of important information in my coordination emails and have come to the conclusion that a good amount of folks just don't read it. A combination of both, I'm thinking.

MatB said:

If a host says they are providing beers, i am 100% going to bring my own. Unless its @bergs with a fridge full of Treehouse.
I dont drink much but when i do it better be good !

If a host says they are providing food. I am 95% going to make sure i eat something i like before showing up.

If a host says i'm taking $5 to order food for everyone. I am 100% going to give them $5 and 95% not going eat the food.

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Curious why this behavior? I don’t host often but when I do, I like to cook some food and have beer and whiskey for everyone to entice people to show up. But often half the people show up saying they just ate. I generally make it clear in the invite what I’m making (pulled pork, tacos, etc), so it’s not a mystery meal. I don’t ask for donations or anything, just tell people they are free to bring drinks or snacks if they like.

Trihonda said:

I normally run my events with the clause “bring a six pack or a snack to share”. I provide a few minor on hand snacks and whatever beer was left from the last game. I often have plenty of people bringing snacks and beverages. I still get Players donating/tipping a few extra bucks (at cashing out). This isn’t expected, but it’s appreciated. I apply that towards new cards, and on hand soda/snacks that people don’t bring.

I also play a buddy’s game, who runs things very differently. He provides a nice spread, and just sets out a tip jar, which gets a donation between $5 and $20 from each attendee.

Last night I tried a little experiment. I very publically indicated in the invite, and event reminders that I would be providing all the food and beverages, including dinner, beer, snacks, etc.. I did not ask or announce that donations would be asked for, but figured I would put out a food donations jar in case anyone wanted to contribute. I provided upwards of $80-100 worth of food and drinks for 10 Players, and the donations jar was conspicuously (and completely) empty. It was a few of my regulars, mixed with a few new people, and I was a little surprised. I even received fewer cash-out tips last night...

I certainly wish I could afford to just supply food/beverages for everyone, but I host 1-2x per month on avg, so that would be between $1000-2000 of food costs per year.

I like to host, and I like to provide a nice environment for my guests. I thought it might be nice (for a change) to have guests not worry about bringing stuff along, and I’m not even looking to break even... it’s weird, I have no problem asking people to bring a six pack/snack to share, but I don’t like the thought of saying “I’m proving food, please contribute money”. I also know I could probably poll my Players to inquire what they’d want to do. I might do the poll thing, but I’m probably going back to the BYOB format. It’s easier, i don’t have to cook, etc.. most importantly it has been working. Probably no need to fix it.

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Seems you did not communicate very well your intentions, that you would "supply" the food, for a cost.

But i personally think, your already providing the space, cards, table, chips. Let them bring their own food and drink.

If i'm not sure what the set up is, i'll eat first then come, or i'll ask the host "is anyone ordering takeout?"

It does seem this new food strategy has added a layer of discontent where it didn't need to be.

ruskba said:

But often half the people show up saying they just ate.

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Maybe they're just there to play cards.

ruskba said:

Curious why this behavior? I don’t host often but when I do, I like to cook some food and have beer and whiskey for everyone to entice people to show up. But often half the people show up saying they just ate. I generally make it clear in the invite what I’m making (pulled pork, tacos, etc), so it’s not a mystery meal. I don’t ask for donations or anything, just tell people they are free to bring drinks or snacks if they like.

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this is different. IMO, if you explicitly say I'm making food, tacos etc. then yes, i'll eat, chip in for cost etc. IF its a vague "i'm providing the food/ beverages" then no, i'm all set.

ruskba said:

Curious why this behavior? I don’t host often but when I do, I like to cook some food and have beer and whiskey for everyone to entice people to show up. But often half the people show up saying they just ate. I generally make it clear in the invite what I’m making (pulled pork, tacos, etc), so it’s not a mystery meal. I don’t ask for donations or anything, just tell people they are free to bring drinks or snacks if they like.

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PLUS... i'm old enough to be burned too many times, even going to "friends" places for dinner only to see theres only enough food for 3 people when 6 are showing up.

I dont mess around when it comes to my food :

But if i know you and your generous with portions, make sure theres always enough to go around, keeps a slew of hot dogs rolling 24/7 (@CraigT78 ) then i'll relax and enjoy the food !

MatB said:

this is different. IMO, if you explicitly say I'm making food, tacos etc. then yes, i'll eat, chip in for cost etc. IF its a vague "i'm providing the food/ beverages" then no, i'm all set.

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MatB said:

PLUS... i'm old enough to be burned too many times, even going to "friends" places for dinner only to see theres only enough food for 3 people when 6 are showing up.

I dont mess around when it comes to my food :

But if i know you and your generous with portions, make sure theres always enough to go around, keeps a slew of hot dogs rolling 24/7 (@CraigT78 ) then i'll relax and enjoy the food !

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Ahhhh ok that makes sense

Ill stick to what works.

I don’t want to mandate the Players pay towards MY food costs. But I can’t afford to foot the bill over the long run (as often as I host). I do host a couple big games per year, where I make a point that all food and drinks are on me, but this is typically my holiday tourney, and involves a charitable contribution towards the local food bank (and people still donate and tip towards food costs). Side note: since starting collecting food donations, we’ve collected close to 700lbs of food. The game last night was not such a game... oh well.

I was not at all mad at my Players, and only very slightly disappointed (but not at my Players). I was hopeful I might develop a situation where players would contribute towards the food, so I might be able to keep providing it everytime. Truthfully I wasn’t sure what to expect. I can’t be mad at people for not reading my mind. It was an experiment, and the results told me all I neeed to know.

In an ideal world, people would donate to cover costs, and the only way this will happen is if I tell Players this is my expectation. Not gonna go that route. Not a big deal, as it’s less effort for me to go the BYOB track.

Another side note of hosting... I had a few newish Players to the game, and it started with a Very “friendly” tone (Players playing passively). I was just going along with the “social” game, not wanting to hammer and punish the weaker players. A few of my seasoned regs took to an aggressive track, and punished my weaker play. I was in for three $60 buyins before I decided to switch gears and start hammering back... at one point I was stuck $140, but cashed out up $60. Lesson, playing soft/passive can be friendly and social, but you will likely lose money.

MatB said:

PLUS... i'm old enough to be burned too many times, even going to "friends" places for dinner only to see theres only enough food for 3 people when 6 are showing up.

I dont mess around when it comes to my food :

But if i know you and your generous with portions, make sure theres always enough to go around, keeps a slew of hot dogs rolling 24/7 (@CraigT78 ) then i'll relax and enjoy the food !

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You’re definitely old enough for whatever claims you claim. U think that Ben Franklin avatar came outta nowhere? I’ve been calling you Ben Franklin for months and your diet has inversely affected our table dynamic.

Love you Matt

my original post was going to be... " when @manamongkids offers you a bud light lime, slap it out of his hands...." but then i remembered , you've come a long way grasshopper !

MatB said:

this is different. IMO, if you explicitly say I'm making food, tacos etc. then yes, i'll eat, chip in for cost etc. IF its a vague "i'm providing the food/ beverages" then no, i'm all set.

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I was specific in what was being provided (which was my often requested meatballs), including all fixings, side dishes, snacks, and coolers full of beer/soda/bottled water. I even posted photos of the beer selection, so they’d know what was being provided. The meatballs were a hit, and the snacks and beers were consumed, though we didn’t run out of food, it was well enjoyed. Granted, the food isn’t a main focal point of the evening, it’s just a nice touch.

Everytime I host, I probably spend $25 on ice, snacks, etc... and we use the extra beer (previous poker nights), and I never have any expectation of recouping that (just cost of hosting). I can handle $25, but spending $100 1x per month is not feasible.

Again, as others have stated, I’m going to stick to what works. It was an interesting experiment, but it’s not worth rocking the boat. The night was a blast, and I think a few of the new players really enjoyed themselves and were a good fit with the rest of the crew. (which is a win imho).

Im a fan of the bring some food to share if you want to method. It just seems to work well.

Do you guys eat before poker or during? Our crew has done it several different ways. One night we started a quick single table tourney around 5 pm. Rule was the first guy knocked out had to fire up the grill for burgers. Then as more got knocked out they would help with other parts of getting the meal ready. Once everyone was done eating we would fire up a cash game. Worked fine. This keeps the host from having to tend to both food and tourney if he's playing well. Just hope the first guy out knows what he's doing around the grill.

Other times we started with a cash game and took a break for dinner and resumed poker after eating.

My personal preference is to keep play on going but to have finger type food available. Not a big fan of stopping a cash game to eat. Otherwise, I'm totally cool with no food being there at all if I know that will be the case.

I prefer to provide the snacks, which are always chip- and card-friendly foods. This (non-greasy snacks) is very important with high-end chips and cards.

No matter who hosts, our group orders take-out for dinner, and we all pay for our own.

I miss hosting!

abby99 said:

I prefer to provide the snacks, which are always chip- and card-friendly foods. This (non-greasy snacks) is very important with high-end chips and cards.

No matter who hosts, our group orders take-out for dinner, and we all pay for our own.

I miss hosting!

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This is pretty much my game. I provide snacks, chips & dips, soft drinks. It's BYOB if you wish to imbibe

abby99 said:

I prefer to provide the snacks, which are always chip- and card-friendly foods. This (non-greasy snacks) is very important with high-end chips and cards.

No matter who hosts, our group orders take-out for dinner, and we all pay for our own.

I miss hosting!

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Yes! I do the same for grease control. No chicken wings near my chips...

Trihonda said:

I was not at all mad at my Players, and only very slightly disappointed (but not at my Players). I was hopeful I might develop a situation where players would contribute towards the food, so I might be able to keep providing it every time. Truthfully I wasn’t sure what to expect. I can’t be mad at people for not reading my mind. It was an experiment, and the results told me all I needed to know.

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The last two sentences are in disagreement with one another. I am pointing this out because I don't believe you should let this experience discourage you.

Hosting requires a certain amount of sacrifice in which there is no reward. Therefore, you owe it to yourself to provide an environment and atmosphere that is going to make you proud. Don't give up on your players, share with them your desire to provide a meal and refreshments for everyone to enjoy. Give it another go if they are receptive to the idea. I believe they will come around if you nudge them a little.

Dr. Strange and a player I met at the casino inspired me with their stories of hosting. I emulated them when I began hosting my own cash game by providing players with a meal. (Snacks and refreshments on tournament nights.) I was up front in letting players know this is something I wanted to do, and would do, as long as my expenses were covered. I wanted to distinguish myself from other hosts in the area. That was my reward, something I could be proud of.

I had to persist in the beginning because I was absorbing roughly 25% of the cost. After four or five games, I firmly told my players that I didn't mind spending the time it took planning the meal, shopping for the groceries, cooking and doing the clean-up, but I didn't bargain on having to cover a portion of the cost. Basically, it was in their hands if they wanted me to continue providing them with a home cooked meal. I never had to address the issue again. ~ GL

Ask them to contribute $ and if they don't just ban them.

EDIT: I've followed your home game threads, you're a pretty good banner.