Crazy Casino Stories (1 Viewer)

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I was playing the other night at the Horseshoe Tunica and was in the main $2/5 NLHE game. I was sitting in the 2 seat and some guy, who seemed off was talking to me in seat 1. I couldn't figure quite what was up with him.

Regardless a seat opened up and based upon who was left we realized that the guy dubbed sideshow Bob was coming over. SB had donated around 2k in my time at the table and rumor was he donated another few between my moving and him coming over. Therefore I moved to the open 4 seat to get position on him taking my old 2 seat. On the second hand he has 55 on a KK5 board vs. Two people with AK and triples up so he has around 2.8k. I'm instantly regretting my seat change.

About 10 minutes pass and about 2 hands as SB is drunk, loud, and taking forever to make decisions while stacking chips. He opens the next hand to $45. The guy sitting on 2.4k raises to $165. Folds back around to SB. He ships. Guy on my right goes way into the tank, and he flashes me KK.... Wtf....

Anyways, while he is tanking SB starts talking to the 1 seat. The conversation quickly turns into SB calling him a f-ing pussy for folding. Seat one gets hot and things escalate quickly. Floor gets called and arrives a minute later. Meanwhile they keep yelling at each other. After some discussion because seat 1 got up in SB face he is getting 86'd. As the floor is going to get seat 1 racks SB calls him a f-ing pussy again and seat 1 throws two chip racks at me and at the guy in the hand still contemplating his 2.4k call. Instigating has now gotten SB 86'd, but he needs to finish the hand. After SB sits down and seat 1 is removed I eventually tell the guy on my right that I'm giving him another minute and I'm calling clock (about 7-8 minutes have passed). Guy eventually folds and shows the table. We all groan...

SB leaves to go have a conversation with the floor at the desk. Meanwhile a sweet old lady shows up to replace seat 1.

Poker continues normally for about 10 minutes when finally SB comes back and sits down. Apparently the floor has revoked their decision and is letting him continue play. Within a minute SB is making friends with old lady. He keeps touching her shoulder and she keeps asking him to stop. She raises a hand PF, SB calls, and the button 3 bets, while she is making a decision SB starts holding her hand. The dealer, a female, asks him to stop. He doesn't. Old lady pushes him away and proceeds to get stacked with AQ on a Q high flop vs. KK. The whole time SB keeps touching her hands.

Old lady says she won't play when she's uncomfortable and says she's leaving. She stops by the floor desk and talks to them for 30 seconds. They call upstairs and within a few minutes they come get SB. Another 15 minute conversation with the head of security ensues. SB is signing some paperwork, which turns out to be temp ban paperwork. 86'd now for a second time.

I'll finish part II later...
 
After speaking with the floor and head of security for the second time SB seems to have calmed down a bit. Apparently they told him to rack up his chips, however they left him without an escort. So SB does what any person would do after being 86'd twice he sits down at the table. The new dealer who is completely unaware that he's been banned deals SB a hand. SB limps for $5, guy on my right raises to $50, I find garbage again, and action folds back to SB. It's around this time that the floor and head of security realize that SB is at the table playing. Side note... How inept are they?

SB says call, but doesn't put in the chips because the others have arrived. The floor tells the dealer that he's been banned and cannot play another hand, but has to finish this one. SB hears that he is done and thinks it's effective immediately. He stands up and begins arguing with security and floor about the decision. The dealer tells the floor what's going on in the hand and that SB owes $45 more to the pot. SB says fuck you all I'm not paying. Floor says he will be banned from all Caesars properties nationwide if he doesn't.

He says fuck you again to the floor. After that comment the dealer takes his hand, that was still live and unprotected and mucks it while awarding the pot to the player on my right. This sends SB into a frenzy who slams the table and send his chips everywhere. Security then takes him from the table and tells him he's done for the 3rd time while the floor racks up his chips. As they head back to the podium the rest of the table watches for a while as SB marches up and down the slots area yelling at the floor.

About 10 minutes later we see SB in a headlock from the head of security. The table stands up to watch, however it's a false alarm as the two are play fighting and laughing like nothing has happened. As they are doing this Tunica police finally make an appearance and SB isn't having any of it. He keeps approaching them and they keep pushing him away. This continues for much longer than it should before they haul him off. A little while later the floor comes back and says SB is paying the $45 and hands it to the player. The table tells the floor that there is currently an open seat should they want to send SB back for a 4th time. Floor is less than pleased...

Ejections: 4
Players impacted: 3
Number of hours it took to conclude: 2
Old Ladies touched: 1
Pots I won from SB: 0

Overall a shit fest and should be used as a what not to do in floor training/security.
 
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Wait till you read my story about Uriah Thomas Gladstone, and his son, Uriah Thomas Gladstone Jr., and their hand against Hugh Jackman and Charles Osgood.

I think I've heard that one! Didn't Bobby Baldwin take it down?
 
What about Uriah's pregnant wife, Ursula aka UTG+1.
Actually, Mrs. Gladstone wasn’t in attendance. Uriah’s +1 that night was his British friend, Nigel Dealer, who was an member of parliament.
 
I had to create a table diagram and make some guesses to figure out what is going on in the original telling.
-3 for story telling
 
If you hang out at a casino card room long enough this crazy shit seems to be inevitable...especially on weekends.

One if the weirdest things I ever saw was opening week at Borgata. Just having been discussing with my buddy how classy the Borgata and the clientele were compared to other casinos, this filthy dirty homeless looking guy sits down at our $2/4 table. He had a plastic grocery store bag full of chips that he started stacking on the table. He hardly played any hands but people were starting to get up because he smelled like piss. Slowly some managers start watching the table. Then out if the blue he goes into a coughing fit. People start backing away from him. He stands up and starts stumbling around coughing like crazy. Then he starts spitting what looked like baby puke on the floor. They grabbed him and removed him from the area.

A few months later at the Borgata two guys get into a raising war (this is limit poker times). An old guy and a younger dude with the younger guy being the aggressor. There was raising and reraising on every street until the river. Young guy bets older guy thinks then raises. Young guy just calls. They turn over the cards and the old guy had nothing ...not even a draw. Young guy had two pair or something pretty strong (can’t remember) A couple people ask the old guy what he was calling raises for. He says “I was going for the flush”. Someone says “you only had three spades”. He replies “well you never know”o_O
 
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Damn.... waiting for Part II is like waiting for the Game of Thrones next season :dead:
 
Couple of weeks back drunk PLO reg was on tilt losing a bunch of money. Well he starts razzing the dealer that if he loses the next pot he’s not tipping him for a year. Well of course he loses. Very next hand he says that if he wins he will reduce it to 6 months instead, of course he loses again. The entire time he is running his mouth at anyone and everyone. He is on the verge of getting kicked out but nobody wants that because he is losing so much.

He loses yet another hand and goes broke. Rebuys and after he does he takes another $100 bill out and shreds it in the dealer’s face!! Telling him no more tips for him! Like it was the dealer’s fault he is a drunk asshole.
 
Couple of weeks back drunk PLO reg was on tilt losing a bunch of money. Well he starts razzing the dealer that if he loses the next pot he’s not tipping him for a year. Well of course he loses. Very next hand he says that if he wins he will reduce it to 6 months instead, of course he loses again. The entire time he is running his mouth at anyone and everyone. He is on the verge of getting kicked out but nobody wants that because he is losing so much.

He loses yet another hand and goes broke. Rebuys and after he does he takes another $100 bill out and shreds it in the dealer’s face!! Telling him no more tips for him! Like it was the dealer’s fault he is a drunk asshole.

The idea of someone shredding one of their OWN $100 bills just to taunt a dealer is pretty fucking next level though. That is drunk logic right there. I will show you by destroying my own money... lolz
 
The idea of someone shredding one of their OWN $100 bills just to taunt a dealer is pretty fucking next level though. That is drunk logic right there. I will show you by destroying my own money... lolz

At least he didn’t wipe his ass with the bill and give it to the dealer.
 
I just posted this in another thread. It happened last weekend playing 1/2NL at a local poker room.

About two hours into the session, an elderly gentleman sat to my right with a much younger woman who seemed to be a caretaker/aide of some sort. The guy thought he was at a blackjack table at first. He clearly didn't have a clue what we were playing, how or when to bet, and he held his cards up where I could easily see them every time he looked. A couple of times, I heard him quietly adding up the board cards, again as if he were playing blackjack.

The dealer had to prompt him and explain his options every action, so he slowed the game tremendously. Two players got frustrated after a few hands, racked up and changed tables.

I was a) trying hard not to look at his cards and b) trying not to get in a hand with him. Normally I don't feel bad about taking someone's money in a casino poker game, and I've seen my share of clueless newbie acts. But with this guy, it was no act - he clearly had no clue what was going on, he should not have been there, and I really didn't know what to do. I just wouldn't feel right taking a big pot from the guy.

Fortunately, a floor came over and asked him to step aside and have a chat. He refused. A moment later, one of the security guards came by and asked the same thing. The guard was friendly at first, but stopped smiling when the guy repeatedly refused to get up from the table. Finally the guard gave the guy a rack, made it clear that the old fella was going to cash out and leave, voluntarily or otherwise, and it finally seemed to sink in enough that the guy slowly racked up and left the table.

FWIW, the guy walked away about +100. When he played, he was open raising to 25. After losing his first 100, he rebought for 200 more and got it in with AK vs QQ on a raggy rainbow flop. An ace hit the river, and he left a couple hands after that.

I'm 100% convinced he got it in with AK because he thought he had a blackjack.
 
I just posted this in another thread. It happened last weekend playing 1/2NL at a local poker room.

About two hours into the session, an elderly gentleman sat to my right with a much younger woman who seemed to be a caretaker/aide of some sort. The guy thought he was at a blackjack table at first. He clearly didn't have a clue what we were playing, how or when to bet, and he held his cards up where I could easily see them every time he looked. A couple of times, I heard him quietly adding up the board cards, again as if he were playing blackjack.

The dealer had to prompt him and explain his options every action, so he slowed the game tremendously. Two players got frustrated after a few hands, racked up and changed tables.

I was a) trying hard not to look at his cards and b) trying not to get in a hand with him. Normally I don't feel bad about taking someone's money in a casino poker game, and I've seen my share of clueless newbie acts. But with this guy, it was no act - he clearly had no clue what was going on, he should not have been there, and I really didn't know what to do. I just wouldn't feel right taking a big pot from the guy.

Fortunately, a floor came over and asked him to step aside and have a chat. He refused. A moment later, one of the security guards came by and asked the same thing. The guard was friendly at first, but stopped smiling when the guy repeatedly refused to get up from the table. Finally the guard gave the guy a rack, made it clear that the old fella was going to cash out and leave, voluntarily or otherwise, and it finally seemed to sink in enough that the guy slowly racked up and left the table.

FWIW, the guy walked away about +100. When he played, he was open raising to 25. After losing his first 100, he rebought for 200 more and got it in with AK vs QQ on a raggy rainbow flop. An ace hit the river, and he left a couple hands after that.

I'm 100% convinced he got it in with AK because he thought he had a blackjack.

Crazy. Why did security tell him to go? Maybe there is more to the story but there is no law about being bad at poker. I have played with drunk people that could barely sit up and the game went on. Maybe just because he was slowing the game down too much?
 
The idea of someone shredding one of their OWN $100 bills just to taunt a dealer is pretty fucking next level though. That is drunk logic right there. I will show you by destroying my own money... lolz
I like dealers and all, but this move is fantastic
 
Crazy. Why did security tell him to go? Maybe there is more to the story but there is no law about being bad at poker. I have played with drunk people that could barely sit up and the game went on. Maybe just because he was slowing the game down too much?
I don't know for sure, but I suspect one of the players who left the table said something to the floor.
 
Casinos are full of weirdos and freaks. I used to absolutely hate casinos until Borgata was built and have played almost exclusively there since it opened. Not that they are devoid of riff raft but there is much less of it.

Casinos used to make me feel nauseated ...literally. Not only did you have all the weirdos you have crippled and old people dumping their SS checks and disability money into the slots. You also had all the cheesy themes and gaudy motif. On top of that everything was filthy when you looked closely.

I think you notice more craziness in the poker room because you are sitting in the same spot for so long. I don’t think I have ever played a long session of poker without seeing some kind of bizarre crap happen.
 
Casinos are full of weirdos and freaks. I used to absolutely hate casinos until Borgata was built and have played almost exclusively there since it opened. Not that they are devoid of riff raft but there is much less of it.

Casinos used to make me feel nauseated ...literally. Not only did you have all the weirdos you have crippled and old people dumping their SS checks and disability money into the slots. You also had all the cheesy themes and gaudy motif. On top of that everything was filthy when you looked closely.

I think you notice more craziness in the poker room because you are sitting in the same spot for so long. I don’t think I have ever played a long session of poker without seeing some kind of bizarre crap happen.
Everything has been simpler since I embraced my natural sociopathy.
 

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